Hello.
Can anyone please review my esssay and can suggest any possible changes.
Thanks
SOP
I am writing to apply for the Ph.D. Program in public health at University of Toronto for the fall of 2012 . I have completed Master of Health Care Management from Swansea University,UK in August, 2009.I would like to pursue a career in the research, development and teaching of methodologies, processes and tools that improve the strategies to uptake cervical cancer sreening of south - asian immigrant women,. I would like the output of my work and research to have significant influence towards improving women health outcome.
My first Msc- was in Boichemistry.While studying, I was aiming to be part of the revolution concentrating towards creating new preventives; but outside campus working with my acquired knowledge has introduced me to a more fulfilling opportunity. Being the developing nation that we are, India is surrounded with all the hazards and ailments modernization and industrialization brings along, but in comparison to its counterparts, India is lacking prevention at the grass root level. .. In my past academic years, I have been part of some highly informative seminars and presentations; I have also worked in Health Camps organized by non-government organizations. Throughout all my communicative activities, I have often found myself engaging in continuous debates with many who were less informed on how to prevent and cure and many who were reluctant to acknowledge the ailment itself. It stimulate me to do Ms in public health.
My passion and motivation for further study and research in Public health is driven by intellectual curiosity and my latest Thesis project in Ms on "Strategies to improve cervical cancer screening". There is a rapid growing population of south - Asians in Canada.. whose country of origin includes India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Srilanka.The World Health Organization reports that cervical cancer is the second most common malignancy among Indian women, who now account for one fifth of the worldwide burden of this preventable disease.It is believed that lack of organized screening is the main cause of cervical cancer.
After completing my Phd degree ,I would like to work with the health workers to promote health care and disease prevention so more lives can be saved. It is a responsibility I owe to myself .However,I believe that it holds great potential in improving community health,and will also make for a challenging,but rewarding career This study would be a very small step in reducing the global burden of the disease.
I have enclosed my CV, list of preferred projects and e-mail addresses of my academic referees as per your instructions. Please inform me if I can provide additional information to aid you in the evaluation
Sincerely
Can anyone please review my esssay and can suggest any possible changes.
Thanks
SOP
I am writing to apply for the Ph.D. Program in public health at University of Toronto for the fall of 2012 . I have completed Master of Health Care Management from Swansea University,UK in August, 2009.I would like to pursue a career in the research, development and teaching of methodologies, processes and tools that improve the strategies to uptake cervical cancer sreening of south - asian immigrant women,. I would like the output of my work and research to have significant influence towards improving women health outcome.
My first Msc- was in Boichemistry.While studying, I was aiming to be part of the revolution concentrating towards creating new preventives; but outside campus working with my acquired knowledge has introduced me to a more fulfilling opportunity. Being the developing nation that we are, India is surrounded with all the hazards and ailments modernization and industrialization brings along, but in comparison to its counterparts, India is lacking prevention at the grass root level. .. In my past academic years, I have been part of some highly informative seminars and presentations; I have also worked in Health Camps organized by non-government organizations. Throughout all my communicative activities, I have often found myself engaging in continuous debates with many who were less informed on how to prevent and cure and many who were reluctant to acknowledge the ailment itself. It stimulate me to do Ms in public health.
My passion and motivation for further study and research in Public health is driven by intellectual curiosity and my latest Thesis project in Ms on "Strategies to improve cervical cancer screening". There is a rapid growing population of south - Asians in Canada.. whose country of origin includes India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Srilanka.The World Health Organization reports that cervical cancer is the second most common malignancy among Indian women, who now account for one fifth of the worldwide burden of this preventable disease.It is believed that lack of organized screening is the main cause of cervical cancer.
After completing my Phd degree ,I would like to work with the health workers to promote health care and disease prevention so more lives can be saved. It is a responsibility I owe to myself .However,I believe that it holds great potential in improving community health,and will also make for a challenging,but rewarding career This study would be a very small step in reducing the global burden of the disease.
I have enclosed my CV, list of preferred projects and e-mail addresses of my academic referees as per your instructions. Please inform me if I can provide additional information to aid you in the evaluation
Sincerely