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Review required of the essay for CMU MISM one year track application



pallavithakur 2 / 7  
Dec 17, 2015   #1
Question: As an applicant, you are required to submit an essay (approximately 1,000 words) describing your academic and professional background, your career goals, and how the program will help you achieve your goals.

Information Technology has evolved to be a driving force for any organisation. I wish to combine technical and business knowledge excellently in order to enhance my expertise and become a pioneer in IT-Management with the efficient application of Business strategies and technological edge that can be useful to my employer.

In my six years of college education, I have strengthened my knowledge in different areas. Being a consistent performer throughout, I was awarded the under-graduation degree with Distinction. I learned about Computer Architecture, Database Systems, and various programming languages. Having a penchant for software development, I was always inclined to acquire practical experience by developing projects rather than getting acquainted with theoretical knowledge. Feather in my cap work was a LIVE website development for a College Club. I further refined my Java skills with DOEACC Java Certification.

I bragged an internship with NIC, Chandigarh. Here, I worked on a project of NRHM, Government of India and analysed facts on Infant-Maternal Mortality Rate, and developed a Tracking System to automate the process. The project didn't just give me a LIVE government project experience but also a chance to work with ASHA group. With ASHA, I worked on upliftment of health in rural India.

Furthering my interest in IT, I joined TCS as a Software Developer. For outstanding performance, I was awarded 'TCS-ILP-Kudos' for developing a complex but user-friendly Test-Taking system.

Soon, as a part of an Airline Domain project, I worked on a multi-billion Airline MRO application. Due to my excellent performance, I was given an opportunity to work at client location in Australia within 2 years of experience. Working in a cross-cultural environment has not just given me an international exposure but has also acquainted me with skills such as client interaction, risk, and crisis management. For my commitment and work excellence, I have been awarded 7 'On-The-Spot' awards.

Though developed in Java EJB, Web-Services and Oracle Database successfully, I bolstered my Database Concepts and acquired Oracle SQL Expert Certification. I also explored Business Reporting & Analytics tools and developed Business Reports in SAP Crystal-Reports, and JasperReports. I was promoted to the designation of System Engineer. Additionally, I have been mentoring, and knowledge transitioning new joiners in the team.

Along with the technical work, I have been involved in Project Estimation and Analysis. Stepping forward in IT Management; I started working in Change and Service Management. I successfully gained ITIL V3 Foundation Certificate with 99% to equip myself with IT Management processes. Utilizing the learning in my team, I improved the efficiency of the processes by 70% with better Service Transition and Operation.

My success with the Application Development and Business Reporting earned me a project called 'SMP. The project gave me a rich experience in Business Objects where I automated critical Business reports. The project has improved the efficiency of the existing processes by 80%, automating all the manual Service Management work.

Being an avid individual, I have participated and won many inter-college competitions and have organized several events. Heading 'Youth-Welfare-Club' in graduation, I have organized many Student Welfare events, environment, and Security Campaigns. I was also part of college NGO 'Samarpan' for Slum-Kids Education. In TCS, I have been a coordinator of Employee Engagement Programs and have led the team & organized different events.

Having spent 3 years thriving in a competitive, customer focused Airline domain, I have developed strong technical skills and learned some Management methodologies. However, IT, being an ever growing sector, requires me to equip myself with the key IT strategy and management skills required by today's business world. With my MISM from Heinz College, I will be able to bring my past to full potential and gain these skills for maximum career growth in IT Management.

After completing the MISM program at Heinz College with emphasis on IT Strategy and Management specialisation, I would be better equipped to materialize my aspirations. I would learn to advise the organisation on IT solutions for its efficient performance and growth. I believe that the MISM program courses such as Negotiation, Business Process Modelling, and Interactive-Marketing would help me prepare for this future role.

The knowledge and experience gained in the school and the work thereafter would be my first step towards my CIO aspirations. I am certain that the program will help me acquire fundamental knowledge that will help me add value to my employer.

Hence, MISM program at Heinz College is aligned to my career goals. The most appealing aspect of the program is the interdisciplinary approach. Having a customized MISM, would not just make me a unique candidate but will also help me make a selection as per my career goals. Current MISM students, XXXX and XXXXX confirmed the program's flexibility and best blend of technical-managerial courses. Beyond the valuable core courses, electives such as IT Project Management, and Strategy Development would provide an in-depth knowledge of the IT-Strategies to understand and leverage the customer, employees, process with technology.

I am also interested in Heinz College due to facilities such as Experiential-Learning, Flexible Fee Payment system, and wide scholarship opportunities. Also, I am looking forward to enhance my capabilities with participation in student organizations such as Heinz Graduate Women Association and Consulting Club.

Having experience in 'Travel-Transportation-Hospitality' Unit, I am interested in continuing the work in Transportation domain with Traffic12. And work on Intelligent Traffic Managing System to manage the traffic effectively. It would be a great learning to work under the leadership of Sean Qian on the project 'Mobility Data analytics Center'.

To summarize, the MISM program would not only enhance my overall skill-set but will also provide me a vital avenue to better equip myself for my career goal. I certainly believe that with my leadership, social, analytical, and team skills, I would be an asset student to the Heinz community. Given the opportunity to pursue MISM at Heinz College, I would emerge as a professional adding value to the Alumni College and employer with effective Business solutions.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Dec 18, 2015   #2
Pallavi, I could not find anything to correct content wise in your essay so I just polished it by tightening the content and correcting sentence problems. By doing that, I was able to bring the word count down to 787. That is not a bad thing, the shorter but complete the information in the essay, the better the chance that the reviewer will actually finish reviewing your information :-) Here is the edited essay:

During my six years of college education, I strengthened my knowledge in different areas. Being a consistent performer throughout, I graduated from my undergraduate degree with distinction. Having a penchant for software development, I was always inclined to acquire practical experience by developing projects rather than getting acquainted with theoretical knowledge.

I bagged an internship with NIC, Chandigarh. I worked on the project NRHM, Government of India and analysed facts on Infant-Maternal Mortality Rate, and developed a Tracking System to automate the process. The project didn't just give me a LIVE government project experience but also a chance to work with ASHA group. With ASHA, I worked on the upliftment of health in rural India.

As a part of an Airline Domain project, I worked on a multi-billion Airline MRO application. Due to my excellent performance, I was given an opportunity to work at the client location in Australia with 2 years of experience at the company. Working in a cross-cultural environment helped me develop skills related to crisis management.

For my commitment and work excellence, I was awarded the 7 'On-The-Spot' awards.

Though developed in Java EJB, Web-Services and Oracle Databas, I bolstered my Database Concepts and acquired Oracle SQL Expert Certification. I also explored Business Reporting & Analytics tools and developed Business Reports in SAP Crystal-Reports, and JasperReports. I was promoted to System Engineer because of my accomplishments.

Along with the technical work, I am also involved in Project Estimation and Analysis. Stepping forward in IT Management; I started working in Change and Service Management. I successfully gained an ITIL V3 Foundation Certificate , acquainting myself with IT Management processes. Utilizing my team, I improved the efficiency of the processes by 70% with better Service Transition and Operation.

My success with Application Development and Business Reporting earned me a project called SMP. The project gave me a rich experience in Business Objects where I automated critical Business reports. The project improved the efficiency of the existing processes by 80%, automating all the manual Service Management work.

Having spent 3 years thriving in a competitive...

After completing the MISM program at Heinz ...

The knowledge and experience gained in ...
Hence, MISM program at Heinz College is ...
I am also interested in Heinz College due to ...

Having experience in 'Travel-Transportation-Hospitality' ...

To summarize, the MISM program would not only ...


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