Review my SOP for my application to German university in Computational Engineering.

statement of purpose essay

I was always fascinated towards beauties of nature like mountains, beaches and valleys. I was mesmerized by the man-made beauties such as skyscrapers, bridges, dams which are inspired by nature. Growing up, I used to build various miniature structures in our garden with my friends and loved playing with construction toys. I had a special affinity towards the construction field and was curious how everything was built. While seeking for the answers, I found out Civil Engineering would provide me with the answers. I wanted to gain more insight into this field. So, I worked hard towards getting into a good Civil Engineering college.

I got selected in one of the top Engineering colleges in my state, ______. In the first two semesters of the course, we were introduced to various fields of engineering to develop an interdisciplinary approach. In further semesters, we got into the core fields in Civil Engineering. As a calculation enthusiast, I was attracted to the courses involving mathematics and physics. These courses include Applied Mathematics, Mechanics of Materials, Structural Analysis, Design and Drawing of RCC and Steel structures and Geotechnical Engineering. The elective courses opted by me were Principles of Bridge Engineering, Construction Management, Prestressed Concrete and Advanced Design of RCC structures.

In the 7th Semester, we carried out an Extensive Survey Project in _____. I worked with a team of 6 students. This extensive survey project was conducted to acquire practical knowledge and applications of theory and overcome the difficulties that could arise in the site during surveying. I did my final semester thesis with four associates under the guidance of _______, Professor on "Utilization of Plastic Waste for Stabilization of Black Cotton Soil". We aimed to study the behaviour of the black cotton soil (high moisture retentive and expansive clayey soil) stabilized with plastic waste. I graduated with the good CGPA of 8.90/10 (German equivalent: 1.55).

While I was exploring various career options, I came across computational methods, simulation of real-world problems and solving them efficiently. I was interested in conducting my final semester thesis on Computational analysis of a model using ANSYS or MATLAB. Due to lack of proper guidance and resources, I couldn't pursue it. But my passion and interest in the field never faded. After I completed my Bachelors, I started working with my father in his Civil Engineering Consultancy firm. I worked on various Residential and Commercial projects. My key responsibilities were Planning, Structural Design, Quantity Estimation and Costing. During this time, I enrolled in the course "A Hands-on Introduction to Engineering Simulations" by Cornell University, through edX portal to gain insights on how Engineering simulation works. This course and several interviews of the researchers and industry experts helped me realize the massive potential of computational methods in solving complex real-world problems, which cannot be solved through hand calculations. So, I decided to pursue my higher education in Computational Engineering.

Reason for choosing Germany for my graduate studies is due to its outstanding Education system. Germany is known for its Innovations and Technological advancements. It is the Mecca for Engineers and Scientists with immense opportunities for professional career development. I have A2 German language certificate and wish to learn the language further. I am looking forward to experiencing life and culture in Germany.

As I was exploring various options to pursue my higher education in this field, I came across the course Computational Engineering offered by Ruhr-Universität Bochum. I was astonished by the curriculum and research work going on in the university. I like the interdisciplinary approach of the curriculum with integration of Mathematical aspects, Material Modelling, Analysis of structures, Modern Programming Concepts in Engineering and Finite Element Methods. I was excited to see the optional courses titled "Concrete Engineering and Design", "Object-oriented Modelling and Implementation of Structural Analysis Software" and "Safety and Reliability of Engineering Structures". Interaction with the highly qualified faculty and research students at Ruhr-Universität Bochum will help me to enhance my knowledge in the areas of the latest construction technologies and application of computational engineering in the construction industry.

To be a part of Structural Designing team of a magnum-opus project is my dream. I desire to strengthen my fundamentals and learn emerging technologies and use them in my professional practice. With my strong Numerical and analytical skills, I strongly believe I have the competence and confidence of adding value to the university and self. I would be pleased to have the opportunity to study at the esteemed institute of Ruhr-Universität Bochum. I express my gratitude to the admission committee of the Computational Engineering course for taking the time to review my application.

I am not sure if there was a prompt provided and information required for this SOP from the university. Some universities treat the SOP as a specific application essay with information requirements. Since you did not provide any of those requirements, I will take it to mean that you are expected to present a standard SOP essay. My review of your work will be based on those standard requirements.

The essay comes across more as a wistful pondering of your past, present, and future rather than a statement of purpose that address your current academic, technical, and career oriented goals. The biographical content of the first half is what would dissuade the reviewer from proceeding with this reading. There needs to be some major content and presentation changes done if this essay is to be usable to your application.

You can start with opening the essay with a clear declaration of your purpose in enrolling in this course. You may give a general overview of your current career duties, responsibilities, along with future career goals, all of which shall culminate in the final sentence which clearly indicates your professional purpose for studies. After that, the next paragraph should discuss the foundational academic background that you have. Rather than presenting an academic biography though, it would be better if you focused the discussion on how your thesis presentation in your senior year helped you strengthen your interest in research. A masters degree student must be studious and willing to put in the time to do research to complete the masters thesis. Therefore, the universities screen the applicants based upon the strength of their previous research participation. It will be most helpful should you be able to present a work related research task as well. While it will help that your previous thesis be proof of previous training and learning that will help you become a successful masters student, it is not a requirement. All the reviewer needs to know is that you have adequate research skills to complete the tasks ahead of you.

Try to indicate some professional highlights in your purpose statement. Those achievements will further help to strengthen the idea that you are a person who has been training most of your professional life to achieve your short term career goals. Mention the short term career goals covering a span of 5 years at the most. That way the reviewer can better relate your academic needs with your career requirements and be convinced that you are on the right track career-wise. It will also help to further define the kind of career that you hope to thresh out for yourself upon your completion of the course.

Make sure to expand on your proficiency in German as a part of the purpose for your desire to study in Germany. Not only will this impress the reviewer, but it will also imply that you cannot complete your masters education in any other country because of your desire to improve your German language skills. Something that will come in handy when you make it as a student to their university. For all intents and purposes, your ability to speak German will make you stand out among the other applicants who do not speak German. Make it clear that because you have a language certification in that language, you would like to not only complete a masters course, but also gain a higher level of certified proficiency in the language. The language proficiency will ensure that you cannot fail as a student who will be taught in a German language setting. Professionally, by knowing how to speak German on a highly proficient level, you will be looking forward to representing your company's interests in Germany or with German participants in the business in your home country. Always make sure your reasons and purpose go back to the career objectives. That will present a full circle discussion for you purpose.

Basically, the essay that you wrote would make an excellent personal statement. It won't really work as a statement of purpose because of some information shortcomings but those can easily be addressed by writing a more comprehensive essay for this application.

@Holt
Thank you for reviewing my essay and your suggestions. Will make necessary changes.