Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

SOP for my application in German university in master in mechatronics and robotics program.

Rushilkumar 1 / 1  
Dec 10, 2019   #1
Hello everyone,

I am applying for master program in mechatronics and robotics and I am new to this forum. Please Help me improve my SOP

All suggestions are welcome

Statement of Purpose

I have been fascinated of 'Mega factories' on the National Geographic Channel every time I see it. Seeing the techniques used to design or build the machine and the various processes involved, instilled a desire in me to be part of the whole process. Moreover, my interest towards robotics and Automation motivated me to choose engineering as a career. The reason, I chose Mechatronic engineering was that I had a passion to learn about Automation system, electronics, programming, on since childhood. Studying subjects like Hydraulic and Pneumatics System, PLC programming, Control devices, and Mathematics enlightened me towards pursuing my career in it. I seek to design, build and diagnose the robotic gadgets. During my undergraduate course, I had the opportunity to gain knowledge about its Automation through hands-on experience in my college workshop. Consequently, I succeeded to serve myself in various fields.

Looking back today, I have always been a consistent performer right from my school days, I have shown very keen interest in Mathematics subjects, which have enhanced my analytical and quantitative skills. These are areas of strength which have helped me very strongly in acquiring good result in primary education. The idea of taking up Robotics evolved at the same time I started my diploma program and that is the reason why I have chosen my 'Diploma in Engineering' in Mechatronic Engineering stream, and completed with 8.85 C.G.P.A. from B. S. PATEL POLYTECHNIC, MEHSANA in 2016 which is affiliated to Gujarat Technological University. Over this period of my Diploma studies, my passion for Mechatronic engineering has enabled me to develop analytical, designing and software skills which served me to secure rank on top 3 out of approximately 120 students in the institute and rank within the top 10 out of all in my university.

My journey through the undergraduate program has been enlightening and challenging to my creativity. I acquired a clear understanding of the fundamentals as well as intricate aspects of multifarious areas in Electronic, Mechanic and Automation. I have been exposed to various subjects like Digital Image Processing, Hydraulic and Pneumatics System, CNC Machine, Manufacturing Engineering, Mathematics, Digital controller,

Embedded Practice and Microcontrollers. And Due to immense interest towards science and technology, pursuing further study in the field of engineering was almost like a natural consequence. I have completed my 'Bachelor of Technology' in Mechatronic Engineering stream with 6.97 C.G.P.A. from U. V. PATEL COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING, MEHSANA in 2019 which is affiliated to GANPAT UNIVERSITY - one of the well-known University of India. I gained a lots of information on the current areas of Research. The event on Robotics at the INDIAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, BOMBAY motivated me to work on microcontroller and PLC programming which is very essential in Embedded Systems. I attended paid workshop of BOSCH REXROTH which was about hydraulic and pneumatic automation technology. Furthermore, I organized basic rules of Arduino programing workshop in my college.

Apart from academics, extra-curricular participation has ensured the all-round development of my personality. I have been a member of various student associations at my campus. I was a team-member of TEAM SHATASHVA which is ATV making team of my college. I served in design and development field which helped me to get much needed knowledge of the off-road muscles vehicles by using the PTC CREO, SOLIDWORK and ANSYS software. I simulated computer models of structures, electronics, and ATV components. I have depth-knowledge of lathe machine operations, milling and drilling machine operations. Also, I did TIG and MIG welding in ATV chassis. Even I took a part with my team in national level competition named as Baja ATV Championship 2019, INDIA. I represented as a Head of Manufacturing Team for my college team, in which we got top position out of 140 teams in Design and Virtual phase.

During the final year of my bachelor study, I undertook a project "Individual wheel locking Hydraulic brake design and manufacturing of All-Terrain Vehicle and signal operating system based on Arduino". In this project work, I got huge knowledge about combination of hydraulic and electronics systems, and online networking fundamentals which establish the ratio of braking force between the front and rear wheels brakes. This project helps to the ATV manufacturing companies as well as students who manufacture it for competition purpose. In College, all my faculty members provided me a strong foundation in understanding the basics of that, I am extremely thankful to them. For providing their constant Support in terms of both academics and ethical values, I successfully completed my project on time, I got marvelous grade for this project.

Mechatronics engineering by itself has a vast number of subjects and if I want an in-depth understanding of a particular subject, master-study becomes an obvious necessity. A master degree would allow me to delve deeper into individual aspects of robotic engineering by studying them in greater detail and also to gain practical experience by way of relevant internships. I think that robotics Automation technics have been widely popular in designing because of its precision work and advanced development. And I still need to learn more about it. Hence, I have taken the decision to pursue a Master Course in 'Mechatronics and robotics engineering'. The reason why I find the Germany as the best education delivering country is because of its experienced mentors, practical knowledge, world-famous universities, research facilities, free education, culture and so on.

I have just one moto, which I received from my father to achieve goal in life is "To take it on as a challenge, solve it and seize the opportunity to be an in-charge of your destiny." In order to reach perfection at its peak, it is of utmost necessity that I have considered to study in Schmalkalden University of Applied Science with its rewarding research programs, excellent research facilities and highly inspiring environment. Moreover, I choose to pursue master-course in the Schmalkalden University of Applied Science by looking the future opportunity that I will get bright future.

This journey of expanding the limits of my mind space promises to be challenging and exciting. I have found that Schmalkalden University of Applied Science with its world renowned high-tech facilities will be the ideal and right place for my master study. I am extremely impressed by the excellent and Innovative research supported by your university. I feel confident that with the renowned Faculty combined with World Class Research facilities at your university will surely enable me to prove my mettle in the current competitive industry. I look forward to an interesting and rewarding future through graduate study at your university.

Yours faithfully,

Maria - / 1,100 389  
Dec 12, 2019   #2
Welcome to the forum. I hope that my feedback gives you insight on how to improve this writing! Don't hesitate to come and ask more.

Like what I always tell others, the first sentence would be better utilized if you attempted to expound here in the most straightforward way possible. Opening up with your opinion on a National Geographic doesn't really tell anything to the evaluators of what your purpose is. Instead, move here the part where you mention what specifically you are applying for. Afterward, incorporate a short line on why. It is imperative that you build a purpose from the beginning.

Be mindful also of small technical mistakes in writing such as punctuation, capitalization, preposition, and the like. Throughout your writing, especially in areas wherein you were getting more specific with relaying information, it was noticeable how you still struggled with these forms of sentiments when you should have had a simpler writing pattern for that portion.

What I generally advise for your writing would be to have a plan. Oftentimes, when I see cluttered and slightly disorganized content for personal essays, they simply tell me that you didn't properly outline and delineate the information prior to writing - hence, why you end up with a slightly disheveled type of writing.
OP Rushilkumar 1 / 1  
Dec 22, 2019   #3
thank you so much @Maria
your feedback is very helpful to me and i will working on it.

Home / Writing Feedback / SOP for my application in German university in master in mechatronics and robotics program.