Scholarships canceled, need my possible appeal letter/reasoning reviewed :P

This is what i will be submitting with my application as to why and how i will correct my GPA. Could use some review or thought.

I am writing to appeal the recent cancelation of my scholarships (President's Honor Scholarship & NSU Opportunity), due to a drop in my grade point average. I realize that the required grade point average for keeping the scholarship is 3.0 and I ended the fall semester with an average of 2.88. Also, I understand that I am solely responsible for my grade point average, but I feel that I have valid reasons for appealing and am confident that the steps I will take to resolve the issues I have will lead to improved grades. I would like thank the committee for granting me the scholarship in the first place, as well as taking the time to read this letter.

One major reason I was unable to maintain a 3.0 GPA in the fall semester was that I moved back home to ___________, to commute and save money. I thought that I would be able to handle driving 35 minutes daily to classes and back but it began to take a toll on me. As the semester progressed it became hard for me to find a good study routine at home. This daily commute was also met with very difficult classes. I choose to take Chemistry and Physics, along with my Electronic classes. Personally, I underestimated the amount of time required to study each class, but I plan to change that this spring.

I will still live at home this semester, but after my experiences in the fall I know what it will take to maintain over the necessary GPA. While on campus each day, I will allocate time to study in a effective study environment such as the library. Also, if I begin to struggle in my studies I will find tutors or seek the help of the professors. To combat the struggle of the daily commute I have spoke with my parents and we have decided that I will try to move back to Natchitoches for the fall semester of 2016.

I do understand that my GPA is something directly affected by myself and a daily commute is not an excuse as to why I could not achieve the required GPA, but I will take all actions necessary to excided the required GPA if scholarships are renewed. Again, I want to thank you for reviewing my appeal, and also for the opportunity to have these scholarships.

Thank you,
_____________

Curtis, if the main problem that you failed to meet the academic requirements of the scholarship was the fact that you moved home in order to save money, you should be discussing the solution to that problem in your essay. It should be the central point of discussion because the reason you lost time for studying was because you were spending most of your time commuting. If you don't have the ability to address your commuting problem, then the reason you failed will not be resolved.

Regardless of all the promises that you make to academically meet the requirements of the scholarship, the reviewers will want to know mainly, about the solutions to your residence problem. If the commute will continue to take time away from your studies and tax you, then there is no academic assistance in the university that can help you make up your grades.

While the solutions you have presented are sound, you failed to address the main cause of your failure. Without a solution to that problem, the committee will not see you as a student who really wishes to keep the scholarship. Sure you have listed a number of solutions to your academic problems, but the academic problems, according to you were caused by the travel time that it took to get to your university. So you have to show them that you have found a solution to that problem along with your academic adjustments. If you say that you will continue to live at home this semester, then the review committee will not be convinced that you are serious about solving the problem. Regardless of your promises, the fact remains that your commute will always be a problem for you so you won't be able to allocate time for study, consultations, etc.

Think of the main cause of the problem, then find a solution to it. Maybe find cheaper housing near the school or something. Staying at home this semester is not going to get you the scholarship back. It will just convince the reviewers that the problem will most likely repeat itself. It isn't a very confidence building thought to leave them with.

If i were to remove the part about still living at home this semester, and change the part where i talk about my parents and i having agreed to move back in the fall, and possibly changing it to "My parents and I have agreed that I will be able to move near campus, and are actively searching for a place of residence." would this help?

Thanks so much.

Curtis, certainly moving nearer to the campus with the support of your parents will be a step in the right direction. You know that this was the main cause of your previous grade problem so you should really work on addressing that issue to help get back your scholarship. Are you truly seeking housing nearer the campus at the moment? Mention some of the addresses that you have inquired at if you can to add substance to your statement. That will prove that you are indeed looking into closer employment.

You can also mention that in order to better support yourself financially this coming semester in terms of housing, you will be seeking on-campus or near campus employment when the semester starts so that you will be able to schedule your class, study, and work hours in a more relaxing and conducive to learning manner.

Your plan of action the minute you feel overwhelmed by your classes again should work well with the aforementioned plans because you will be living in the learning environment that can continue to inspire you to do well academically with the help of your parents and the university scholarship. Don't forget to reiterate the need for the scholarship towards the end of your letter.