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"Somewhere, something is waiting to be known" - Robotics MSC Degree application essay

Uplifter 1 / 1  
Mar 11, 2018   #1
Hello, everyone, I hope you guys help me about my motivation letter in term of syntax, vocabulary, punctuation I will too much appreciate it.

Motivation Letter about Robotics

The legendary cosmologist carl sagan once said :"somewhere, something is waiting to be known".based on this quote and my truthful belief that I need to know more, I'm writing this letter to express my avid interest in applying for the master's program in Robotics & Computer engineering at the Institute of technology, University of Tartu .I'm from Morocco and in 2014 I took a Higher Diploma of Technology in Industrial Maintenance Engineering with honors from the High School of Technology **** .after my graduation, I have been working as Electrical Maintenance Technician for one year in **** and two years as Arduino Developer Freelancer. Before I graduated from The High School of Technology of **** with a bachelor's degree in Automation & building's technical management in 2017 .

Nowadays, Robots are everywhere revolutioning every aspect of our life, from nano-robots destroying cancer cells in our bodies to robots probes exploring space searching for life .in robotics you get to build intelligent machines capable of sensing, measuring & interacting with the world around them using an amalgam of various engineering fields ,that's the strong reason that convinced me to choose robotics.

Throughout my academic career I came across a blend of engineering subjects which constitute the soul of robotics such as Physics ,Higher Mathematics Mechanical Engineering,Electrical Engineering,Analog Electronics,Digital Electronics,Programming,Computer Hardware,Automation, SCADA ,Signal Processing .in addition, my interest in Robotics has began back in 2012 ,during my first internship in LEONI Casablanca .I was astonished by the speed and accuracy of crimping and cutting simultaneously of wires done by the Automated Machine "KOMAX ALPHA ".as result of the driving force of love towards robotics I decided to build a robotic arm the year after as part of my final year project.

famously Known for life-changing inventions, Nikola Tesla (1856-1943) discovered also remote control he used radio waves to move robot-boat during the electric exhibition in 1898 in New York.therefore, Tesla wasn't the father of Electricity but also a father of robotics.The second most influential person in the field of robotics I believe is the English computer pioneer and artificial intelligence theorist alan Turing (1912-1954). Alan developed the concept of thinking machine through the "turning test " in 1950 ,a method of inquiry for determining whether a computer is capable of thinking like human being .Thanks to his massive contributions, today we have artificially intelligent robots able to perform even more complex tasks.

Last but not least ,the South African engineer, inventor, and entrepreneur Ellon Musk .he's undeniably the inventor of the moment.his revolutionary ideas have completely changed space travel and transportation.Ellon backed OpenAI non-profit research lab in order to teach robots to learn like humans do.when he was asked about robots he said: "in the future Robots will do everything better than us".

Talking about robotics events that stuck in my memory, In 12 November 2014, I witnessed live the breathtaking landing of European space agency robotic probe Philae on a comet, after 12 years in space.I have been deeply influenced by the historical event that I became aware of how robots can help us to answer major scientific & philosophic issues. later on, in 15 March 2016 AlphaGO an English computer program defeated the world champion Lee Sedol at The ancient board game GO.this victory was a concrete evidence that machines can learn to solve the hardest problems. Another major event took place at Arabie saudite in October 2017.where a humanoid robot Sophia made by Hanson Projects became a citizen of Arabie Saudite.although she wasn't conscious but she showed a high level of interaction with humans using machine learning.

It is well known that Estonia is leading the way in technology , it's also a place where Innovation is highly appreciated and that's what attracted me the most to apply to the Robotics & Computer Engineering program to study in 1.2% of the top universities in the world .besides, I'm much eager to learn new technologies, in fact I'm already familiar with Topics such as industry 4.0,Internet of Things, Machine learning, Machine vision , and very enthusiastic to advance my skills on them as they are parts of Robotics .

As I'm passionate about innovation and finding solutions to the most pressing industrial challenges.I'm willing to work as Robotics Systems Engineer after my graduation, after reading the program's curriculum I think that it will absolutely provide me with the necessary tools both theoretically & practically to succeed in my future job.

I have chosen this particular program to fulfill my dream in robotics, I hope one day I will be a Space robot Engineer as it was and it will be my big thing to achieve.
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Mar 16, 2018   #2
Hi, your first paragraph is not too bad, but you need to jump in a little faster with what program you are applying to and why. The second paragraph seems pretty weak - the readers already know a lot about robots. And just the fact that robots are common and useful doesn't seem like a very convincing reason to want to study them. In your third paragraph, this is a list of very general engineering subjects, I'm not sure why you need to mention them. I do like your experience with the wire crimping machine - maybe you could go into more detail about how that actually captured your imagination.

I would leave paragraphs four and five out. Your goal is not to teach the reader about the history of engineering, they are supposed to learn about you. I guess paragraph six is better because at least you are talking about how these events affected you, but the examples still seem too general. Paragraph 7 also needs more details. What is the main reason you want to study in Estonia? Maybe it is leading the way in tech, but I always think of Germany or Korea or the US doing that - why Estonia exactly? There is nothing very convincing about your explanation. The last two paragraphs are too general also. What exactly is a space robot engineer and what does a space robot engineer do?

In summary, I think your letter has a lot of unnecessary information about robotics and scientists in general and is missing specific details about your background, your plans for the future, and how this specific program will allow you to reach your goals. I would search for some general motivation letter guidelines geared toward engineering students, or even better, specific guidelines created by the university to which you are applying. Usually these guidelines will say to include specific knowledge and skills you have gained in your education and career, personal qualities your achievements and successes have displayed, what lack of knowledge and experience is holding you back and how this program will remedy that situation, and exactly what draws you to this particular program and its research and education focus.
OP Uplifter 1 / 1  
Mar 16, 2018   #3
thank you for your review & advice ,I did change a lot of motivation letter. for the events & personalities in robotics it was asked by the university

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