None of the programs I'm currently looking at give specific guidelines for the personal statement, only that it must be less than 1500 words. This draft is right at 1000 words. Please let me know what you think of my first draft. Also, what is it missing? Thanks in advance!
To Whom It May Concern:
My grandmother (Mimi) was the kind of grandmother you read about in story books. She provided a never ending supply of spaghetti, kisses and gifts. She was an obligatory mediator, switching back and forth between phone lines to calm sibling rivalry. She was the faithful shoulder to cry on when friends were mean or when our goldfish died. She was the greatest story teller in the world, the best cookie baker, and the only one I ever trusted to sew my Halloween costumes. I loved every single minute of my life with her.
In 2002, I was a typical high school student enjoying my first homecoming dance. In the blink of an eye, my mother rushed in and with quickened words hurried me out the front door. All I knew was that Mimi was sick and we were going to Memphis. She died seven days later.
My grandmother entered the hospital for open heart surgery due to congestive heart failure. She ultimately died of septicemia as a result of a nosocomial infection. At that time I was only 15 and had little to no understanding of most diseases or their spread, but I wanted to know. I never wanted to be a doctor because the sight of blood made me faint as a child, but I was directionless on what my part would be in the fight to cure diseases.
In high school, I decided that I wanted to become a veterinarian. I was accepted to the early entry program at the College of Veterinary Medicine at University X after my graduation from Advanced High X in 2004. My life was on track and I would be a veterinarian by 2011. Then I got to college. As it turns out, my extreme soft spot for animals is detrimental to a career in Veterinary Medicine. I tried communications for a year, and failed everything because I was bored. I missed science. It was then that I decided to drop out of college until I decided on an academic path in which I was fulfilled and could be successful.
Upon my return to college in the fall of 2011, I decided to major in microbiology. I had always loved science and studying the organisms that cause disease fascinated me. It was a slightly rocky start upon my return. I never had to study in high school and was a poorly directed student during my first attempt at a college education. I was a 25 year old surrounded by much younger colleagues trying to figure out how to study for the first time in my life, all while working two jobs. I eventually figured it out and genuinely enjoy microbiology. I have worked as an undergraduate researcher in a microbiology lab at University X for the past 1.5 years. I study Disease X, a highly neglected disease with global implications. One of my projects has been creating recombinant proteins with the ultimate goal of creating a vaccine against this important, but not fully understood, human pathogen. My other project has focused on creating a genetic profile for a species of bacteria X in western Asia to help further understand the disease distribution in an area of the world naïve to Disease X.
Throughout my microbiology coursework, my favorite classes were Pathogenic Microbiology, Parasitology, and Immunology. I particularly enjoyed reviewing case studies and using information we learned to figure out the case at hand. This semester, I am enrolled in Conservation Medicine, a class focused on the necessary collaborations of various scientific and political organizations and individuals to study, maintain, and regenerate public health in local and global communities. We have extensively discussed how geographical, biological, political, and socioeconomic factors affect the spread of diseases and overall community and global health. Conservation Medicine is my absolute favorite class I have ever taken. It allows me to combine my love of science, studying diseases and my strong desire to help people in a novel way. Epidemiology excites me. I am eager about the possibility of working with various scientist and organizations around the world to combat the spread of deadly diseases.
Throughout my experience working in a restaurant, working in a lab, founding a philanthropic organization and being active on my campus and in my community, I have had the pleasure of interacting with a myriad of different people and personalities in both a personal and professional manner. I feel as though my unique combination of experiences has prepared me for a career in which I am able to work closely with people while excelling as a successful scientist. My experiences have shown me that I will be most fulfilled in career that allows me to interact with and help people in a field that offers constant room for educational and personal growth. All of these things have lead me to pursue a career in Public Health, specifically in Epidemiology and Global Health.
Although my overall GPA is lower than I would like, my recent semesters have all been successful. I dropped out of college when I was 20 years old because I was not sure what I truly wanted to pursue a degree in and my confusion and lack of dedication was reflected in my GPA. I returned to school two and a half years ago with a renewed dedication to my education and have been a much more successful student upon my return. I still struggle with some subjects, and balancing two jobs and a full class load can be difficult, but I am excited about my educational and professional future.
Thank you for your consideration.
To Whom It May Concern:
My grandmother (Mimi) was the kind of grandmother you read about in story books. She provided a never ending supply of spaghetti, kisses and gifts. She was an obligatory mediator, switching back and forth between phone lines to calm sibling rivalry. She was the faithful shoulder to cry on when friends were mean or when our goldfish died. She was the greatest story teller in the world, the best cookie baker, and the only one I ever trusted to sew my Halloween costumes. I loved every single minute of my life with her.
In 2002, I was a typical high school student enjoying my first homecoming dance. In the blink of an eye, my mother rushed in and with quickened words hurried me out the front door. All I knew was that Mimi was sick and we were going to Memphis. She died seven days later.
My grandmother entered the hospital for open heart surgery due to congestive heart failure. She ultimately died of septicemia as a result of a nosocomial infection. At that time I was only 15 and had little to no understanding of most diseases or their spread, but I wanted to know. I never wanted to be a doctor because the sight of blood made me faint as a child, but I was directionless on what my part would be in the fight to cure diseases.
In high school, I decided that I wanted to become a veterinarian. I was accepted to the early entry program at the College of Veterinary Medicine at University X after my graduation from Advanced High X in 2004. My life was on track and I would be a veterinarian by 2011. Then I got to college. As it turns out, my extreme soft spot for animals is detrimental to a career in Veterinary Medicine. I tried communications for a year, and failed everything because I was bored. I missed science. It was then that I decided to drop out of college until I decided on an academic path in which I was fulfilled and could be successful.
Upon my return to college in the fall of 2011, I decided to major in microbiology. I had always loved science and studying the organisms that cause disease fascinated me. It was a slightly rocky start upon my return. I never had to study in high school and was a poorly directed student during my first attempt at a college education. I was a 25 year old surrounded by much younger colleagues trying to figure out how to study for the first time in my life, all while working two jobs. I eventually figured it out and genuinely enjoy microbiology. I have worked as an undergraduate researcher in a microbiology lab at University X for the past 1.5 years. I study Disease X, a highly neglected disease with global implications. One of my projects has been creating recombinant proteins with the ultimate goal of creating a vaccine against this important, but not fully understood, human pathogen. My other project has focused on creating a genetic profile for a species of bacteria X in western Asia to help further understand the disease distribution in an area of the world naïve to Disease X.
Throughout my microbiology coursework, my favorite classes were Pathogenic Microbiology, Parasitology, and Immunology. I particularly enjoyed reviewing case studies and using information we learned to figure out the case at hand. This semester, I am enrolled in Conservation Medicine, a class focused on the necessary collaborations of various scientific and political organizations and individuals to study, maintain, and regenerate public health in local and global communities. We have extensively discussed how geographical, biological, political, and socioeconomic factors affect the spread of diseases and overall community and global health. Conservation Medicine is my absolute favorite class I have ever taken. It allows me to combine my love of science, studying diseases and my strong desire to help people in a novel way. Epidemiology excites me. I am eager about the possibility of working with various scientist and organizations around the world to combat the spread of deadly diseases.
Throughout my experience working in a restaurant, working in a lab, founding a philanthropic organization and being active on my campus and in my community, I have had the pleasure of interacting with a myriad of different people and personalities in both a personal and professional manner. I feel as though my unique combination of experiences has prepared me for a career in which I am able to work closely with people while excelling as a successful scientist. My experiences have shown me that I will be most fulfilled in career that allows me to interact with and help people in a field that offers constant room for educational and personal growth. All of these things have lead me to pursue a career in Public Health, specifically in Epidemiology and Global Health.
Although my overall GPA is lower than I would like, my recent semesters have all been successful. I dropped out of college when I was 20 years old because I was not sure what I truly wanted to pursue a degree in and my confusion and lack of dedication was reflected in my GPA. I returned to school two and a half years ago with a renewed dedication to my education and have been a much more successful student upon my return. I still struggle with some subjects, and balancing two jobs and a full class load can be difficult, but I am excited about my educational and professional future.
Thank you for your consideration.