I here by request you to review my statement of purpose. I encourage you to be the hardest critic of this SOP. Holt I am a big fan of yours, please comment if possible.
Statement of Purpose
Analysis of data is a science and truth-seeking discipline which uses data to extract right knowledge and insights. As the number of users connected to internet keeps growing, there is a massive amount of different types of data which is waiting to be analyzed in a meaningful way. Various companies have already begun their journey on data analysis to understand consumers product preferences, financial analysis of investments and deciding make models for their future sales. I first became interested in data analysis when I realized that it could be used to design the right retail or financial product, and it is an interest that continues to this day. A Master's program in business analytics will help me to build knowledge that I will used in deriving meaningful conclusions from large sets of data.
I learned fundamentals of statistics, accounts, financial analysis and business fundamentals during my undergraduate program in Bachelor of Commerce. My interest in financial analysis and its correlation to business operation led me to do a Master's in Business Administration degree. This education helped me secure my first internship at a financial trading firm Beeline Broking. It is here where I was first introduced to the concept of data analysis on financial numbers. My project focused on analyzing the variances between our firm's research value for a particular business stock vs. the actual value over the past years. This analysis directly helped in finding and correcting fundamental flaws in our research when it came to analyze a business. This internship experience made me realize the power of what correct data analysis could have on a business.
Upon completion of my MBA, for past 1 year I have been working on a data analysis project at Webcraft, an IT product services company. My project focused helping our client forecast sales and assist in optimizing marketing efforts. Through analyzing data from all previous year sales history and combining sales data with marketing. I was able to create a visual dashboard which ran on top of a data model I created that would accurately predict future sales. Any user of this dashboard could also input various marketing efforts and the model would predict the impact to sales it could have. This model turned about to be highly accurate and significantly impacted business for our client. I strongly desire this type of business analysis work in the future, by providing a data driven research for companies with a strong support model.
I strongly believe that this graduate program in business analytics will train me in several methods of data analysis, also ramp me on the programming knowledge needed to analyze large data sets. I am also confident of sharpening my programming and mathematical knowledge as part of my course work. In addition, the prospects of working with partners from the industry on projects will give me a lifetime experience of working on today's problems in the field. Altogether, this graduate program will give me the required expertise and understanding that will be required to continue in my career as a data analyst.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,250 4653
The essay needs to be edited to make it more interesting to read. This being a statement of purpose needs a highly interesting opening paragraph to help the reviewer determine whether or not you understand the intricacies of the masters degree you are interested in studying. I strongly advise you to open the essay with the following paragraph:
for past 1 year I have been ...with a strong support model.
Reformat that paragraph to better highlight the purpose of your studies. I found that the opening paragraph you created was only an explanation of how data science helps businesses, but not how data science is applicable in your line of work. So I would like you to correct that. By opening immediately with the professional reference you gain the interest of the reviewer because you immediately get on track with your statement of purpose.
Follow up that statement with an adjusted version of this educational background:
My interest in financial analysis ...on a business.
The adjusted section I chose helps you inform the reviewer of your early data science experience which, will be another plus in your side. Additionally, the internship experience will work to your benefit since it shows your early foundation in the actual job application.
Those are the only 2 paragraphs you need for your statement of purpose because it is quite strong in presentation. The last paragraph should speak of your academic and professional goals. Explain how the university you chose and the course will blend in very well with these interests. It is important the you indicate your specific goals as it relates to this course so that the future application of the masters course will become evident. Specifically explain what direction your career can head in once you graduate from this MS course.