Hi all,
I am applying for a PhD position in some universities. It would be of great help if you could help me with the editing. I am not very happy with the length of the statement as, I want to add about my interest in specific universities and the research labs but, adding that will lead to lengthening of the statement beyond permissible limits. Please help.
SOP
My goal is to become a scientist at a leading research institute and I am confident that my experience and technical skills provide me with a good scaffold towards a successful career in research. I enjoy the challenges of research requiring creativity and perseverance. Coming from a relatively poor and underdeveloped part of India, I want to contribute towards making life easier and healthier for the common man.
With its emphasis on diversity in research and commitment to improve various aspects of human life, I believe that the Department of Biological Sciences at the Uxx is an ideal match for my preparation towards a career in teaching and research. I am particularly interested in the ongoing research in Dr.xx's lab. I believe that the intellectually stimulating and culturally diverse atmosphere of your university will help me to expand my scientific outlook.
Please help me regarding the structure and sentence constructs. it's an ernest request. I promise to help others in this forum to the best of my capabilities but any one please give your suggestion(s).
I personally feel you are jumping thoughts. Instead of an introduction you started talking about your undergrad and masters degree which is not ideal. You have not stated reasons why you want to join a particular university and you need to summarize your skills etc in the conclusion and not add additional ones.
Thanks Parthib, I myself am feeling the same about the last paragraph and want to restructure it without adding to the word count. Any suggestions regarding that?
hey rajeev, As i said before u are adding additional points in the conclusions like your teaching stint. You need to summarize and not add additional points. I would take out this sentence completely "After all playing a teachers role with honesty was an altogether a challenging task". After all is a rather colloquial word not to be used in a SOP.
Your statement "In addition to the broad fields of molecular genetics and evolution, antibiotics and drug development, I am also interested in the role of environment on gene expression, investigation of genetic disorders and use of recombinant DNA technology for the production of recombinant proteins which have use in human health improvement" in itself is not sufficient. You have to add some substance to it like i read about it in blah blah or i came across it while doing blah blah and then my interests developed. I hope youn get my drift. Remember PhD essays are a different ball game unlike MS SOPs.
These are just opinions. The experts may weigh in their bit.
Good Luck
Thanks again Parthib,
I have taken some time to restructure the last couple of paragraphs. Please give your feedback. waiting for a response.
Use a comma for compound sentences:
My goal is to become a scientist at a leading research institute, and I am...
Also, "scaffold toward" is not quite right:
...confident that my experience and technical skills provide me with good scaffolding as I make my way towa rds a successful career in research.
And it is best to be gender-inclusive:
...and healthier for common, struggling people.
Kind regards! I wish you good luck in your meaningful aspiration!
Thanks for your reply kelvin.
I have observed your responses to various queries and want to thank you for the help you are giving on behalf of all the graduate aspirants using this forum. I guess :).It was valuable, thanks for your time.
This is the concluding paragraph of my statement. Hope it sounds better.
READ BELOW
I plan to post the final draft shortly. the due dates are closing in. I am not left with many options now. I am really sorry for misspelling kevin.
Regards,
This is the final draft. Any suggestions are most welcome.
The structuring is as follows:
1st para- Overall view . Indication of interest and strengths which will be supported in following paragraphs.
2nd ans 3rd para- description of previous work and reason of interest (Structure- statement, supporting example and conclusion)
4th para research aptitude.
and lastly,
Conclusions (on areas of interest, goals,preparedness and choice of school)
please give your feedbacks, Its really helpful. if you are interested in getting my feedback on your essays, please let me know.
Thanks.
My inquisitive nature and past experiences have led me on an intellectually valuable path which I believe is an excellent preparation for a PhD in Biological Sciences. I joined the prestigious xx as an undergraduate in Environmental Science. Although it was a great learning experience, I realized that my interest was in Molecular Biosciences. The interrelation and interaction of genetic composition and the environment within and outside a living system fascinated me. To gain further insight in the field, I joined Uxx for a master's degree in Biotechnology. Being new to the field, I took time in learning the basics of modern molecular biology yet; I thoroughly enjoyed this intensive and rigorous field and feel proud to have excelled in it. As, Biotechnology is an integrative discipline requiring good knowledge of Genetic engineering and biological systematics, I have focused on studying these subjects. In addition, I have cogent teaching and research experience, which I believe makes me technically and theoretically capable to succeed in Uxx's main requirements for a PhD. However, I believe that my passion, creativity and the ability to work independently as well as in group are the traits which will help me in becoming a successful researcher.
My interest in Biology was spontaneous, a natural proclivity since my childhood. This interest became stronger as I opted for biology in high school, laying the foundation of my academic future. Owing to my predisposition towards this field I got an opportunity to undergo voracious study of the works of scientists like Theodosius Dobzhansky and John Maynard Smith on modern evolutionary synthesis and evolutionary genetics during undergraduate. Reading their works opened a new window of an altogether new and diverse body of knowledge on how evolution actually works through spontaneous mutations to create new species, the importance of overall energy balance as a determining factor in genetic, evolutionary and molecular dynamics of living systems. Not able to obtain good grades during the first two years of undergraduate study owing to certain personal circumstances, I improved my performance in the final year substantially.
Master's research project was my first full scale research experience. The objective of the project was to increase the production of colicin (a bacteriocin) produced by col plasmid bearing E.coli. Under the guidance of Dr.xx, I was allowed freedom regarding designing and execution of the project. Taking this opportunity by both hands I devoted majority of my time during the final year in working on the project. Fortunately I succeeded in increasing the production by about 20% in one of the isolates using heat shock in the late log phase. Though the project was ranked third in the class, I was lauded for my effort. The appreciation and the outcome of the project was immensely satisfying and confidence boosting. During the project, I not only developed skills in plasmid isolation, DNA and protein analysis but also learnt about bacteriocin production and the relation between pathogenicity islands and virulence.
In the subsequent years working as a research associate and later as a lecturer I had the chance to work with some distinguished researchers and scientists in various research projects. Developing my skills in molecular analytical techniques and learning about various aspects of Biotechnology, I learnt new techniques, participated in research seminars and gave presentations as mentioned in my resume. I have worked extensively under Dr. xx (DST young scientist fellow) on his project in identification of antibiotics produced by microbial flora of NOIDA sewage canal. During this period, I developed skills in molecular techniques like coupling of electrophoresis and PCR with sequencing and database search techniques, sequence homology, DNA based phylogenetic studies and molecular docking with reference to structural studies apart from gaining an insight in modern techniques. I used both dry and wet lab techniques to achieve results. Currently, in addition to co authoring a paper on effects of competitive inhibitor sodium fluoride on acid phosphahase from Cascuta reflexa with Ms. Bharti Singh, I am also working on the adaptive changes in thermostable biomolecules and plan to present paper on the subject based on my investigations on DNA polymerase sequence studies of different strains of hyperthermophiles.
My stint as a Lecturer has been both enabling and enriching experience by adding a new dimension to my already accumulated knowledge. During the course of teaching the undergraduates theoretical and practical aspects of biotechnology, I revisited once learnt theories with a fresh perspective in order to clear the student's doubts. As an outcome I developed a thorough and deep insight myself on the subject. I have come to appreciate the importance of teaching methods in terms of initiating research aptitude. I believe that diversity in thinking and approach leads to better understanding of cause and effect of an event in nature.
In addition to the fields of molecular genetics and evolution, antibiotics and drug development, I am also interested in the role of environment on gene expression, investigation of genetic disorders and host pathogen interaction. I want to do independent research in these fields in future.
I have requested Dr. Ameeta Sharma (Head, Department of Biotechnology, Maharishi Arvind Institute of Engineering and Technology, Jaipur), Dr.xx and xx(Senior Lecturer, Department of Biotechnology, xx College, Chennai) to act as referees on my behalf.
My goal is to become a scientist at a leading research institute, and I enjoy the challenges of research requiring creativity and perseverance. Coming from a relatively poor and underdeveloped part of India, I want to contribute towards making life easier and healthier for common, struggling people.
With its emphasis on diversity in research and the commitment to improve various aspects of human life, the Department of Biological Sciences at the Uxx is an ideal place for me to develop my analytical and research capabilities. I am particularly interested in the ongoing research in Dr.xx's lab. Excellent research facilities and distinguished faculty members of your university provide an intellectually stimulating and culturally diverse atmosphere, which I believe will help me in expanding my scientific outlook.
