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Personal statement to support application into university



choyhar2002 5 / 12  
Sep 23, 2016   #1
Please provide any other relevant information to support your application.
You may want to include answers to the following questions:

1) What are your reasons for choosing to study at Brunel University?
2) What are your reasons for choosing the course?
3) How will this course contribute towards your chosen future career plans?
4) Is there any other relevant information i.e. relevant experience concerning your intellectual, professional, social, sporting or other interests you wish us to consider?


There are some critical criteria I concern in searching universities. The main reason I have chosen Brunel University is the course they offered and it is one of the Chevening partners as I am applying Chevening scholarship. As I am an oversea student, accommodation is a very essential factor to me. By reading comments from students who have studied in Brunel, it seems that the campus life in Brunel is fantastic and student supportive.

I am currently a flight attendant, I have been flying for ten years and I decided this is the time for me to settle on ground. While working in the airline get to deal with people from different backgrounds and cultures, I would like to set my next career goal in human resource management. I believe every organization needs a strong base of manpower as it is the greatest resource to a profitability company. Successful organizations have the right types and amount of people, and able to maintain an effective relationship between employer and employees. Especially when company came out with new policy, it always give different impacts to employee who bear different responsibilities, sometime it motivates everyone in the company while sometime only particular department get the benefit. This has created a strong interest in me to understanding and studying the importance of human resource management, it aspires me to be excel in this field. By choosing this course, Human Resource Management and Relations, I will get to expose to the knowledge of planning, organizing, directing and controlling manpower, which would prepare me to a competent professional and help achieve my life long goal.

I would like to share one of my experiences in communication with people. Before joining the airline, I was an online broker in a securities firm. We bought and sold shares according to customers' orders. Despite being a fresh graduate, after a few months' working in the company, I was appointed to assist a team of university students to complete their internship in our department. Due to our close age gap and similar education background, I got to create a good working environment and maintained effective communication with them. I managed to address their strengths and weaknesses in a short period. Therefore, I could assign them different responsibilities accordingly, and they were able to identify their own weakness and use it as a mirror to help each other to get improve. By leading and serving as an examples, supporting them with necessary aids, a solid foundation of trust within the team was built up. By the end of the internship, they managed to complete their given task with remarkable results and had a clearer picture in pursuing their dream job in the very near future.

I believe with my strong passion in helping and working with people, I can see myself becoming a great HR professional who can have a profoundly positive impact on people, providing welfare to employee and at the same time meeting the company's goal.

taytay10133 1 / 2  
Sep 25, 2016   #2
"There are some critical criteria I concern in searching universities" should be more along the lines of " every university i consider has to meet my criteria" or something like that. i can see where you are trying to go but the first sentence is incorrectly formatted. in the second sentence i would state the course you are speaking about. oversea should be overseas.

"campus life in Brunel is fantastic and student supportive." should be supportive of students. you should also say "i have been a flight attendant for ten years and i have decided that now is time for me to settle down and pursue( higher education?)

while working in the airline i get to deal with. and are able to maintain.

"Especially when company came out with new policy, it always give different impacts to employee who bear ..." should be when companies come out with a new policy, they always have different impacts on employees who bear different responsibilities. sometimes it motivates everyone in the company while sometimes only one particular department gets the benefit.

"providing welfare to employee and at ..." providing welfare to employees, and simultaneously meeting the companies goal.

great essay:) you are pretty fluent for being a foreigner!
Alamsyah Ismail 24 / 38  
Sep 25, 2016   #3
Hello Choyhar2002
I have some advice to you

There are some critical criteria (conj) I concern in searching universities
you should use conj: that, to combine sentence and other sentence

pay attention with your spelling
.....As I am an oversea(s) student
OP choyhar2002 5 / 12  
Sep 26, 2016   #4
Hi Taytay and Ismail ,thank you for the advice, especially for the spelling correction for "overseas" .
I never know it always has to be oversea"s"
I would definitely remember it Haaaaa


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