Personal Statement for UCL Masters Financial Risk Management - why this program and school?

Hi all, my personal statement for the mentioned program. I still left with "where you would like to go professional with your degree". I was wondering if i should be specific (company, graduate programs, specific field etc) in what i would like to pursue right after graduation? or should I give a generic career goals?

appreciate any feedback (:

the optimal career path

As the financial complexities of the corporate world continue to burgeon, so have the mechanisms and solutions which aim to manage financial risks. In particular, techniques in computer science have emerged at the forefront in quantifying financial risk, and efforts of risk management have become inextricably intertwined with these ever-advancing technologies. As a passionate student of both technology and finance, I find myself suitably positioned to pursue a Master's in Financial Risk Management at UCL, particularly drawn to the appeal of a dual emphasis on programming skills and professional exposure.

Fundamentally, in my pursuit of further studies, I am hugely motivated by the desire to develop expertise in quantitative risk management. Specifically, I trust that pursuing this program at UCL is especially crucial to developing a well-rounded perspective of the trends and development in quantitative risk management. This is in part due to the diversity of modules available across various departments, such as applied computational Finance and statistical computing. Personally, I strongly concur with the need for integrating programming languages like MATLAB and Python to handle complex computations and perform data analytics operation. Such skills are especially crucial for risk modelling and quantifying risk, both of which form the core of financial risk management. As a world-class academic institution of computer science, UCL is the place I seek to develop and strengthen new programming skills for a future career in the field

Furthermore, I am strongly drawn to the emphasis which UCL places on providing exposure and valuable opportunities for the students. Undoubtedly, crucial to the success of any organization is its capacity to manage risk exposure. However, such success cannot be guaranteed by mere theoretical modelling and knowledge-transfers independent of the real world; academic pursuit has its pragmatic limits. As such, I believe that an active participation in the industry vis-à-vis a specialist masters' education is the optimal way in which one can be thoroughly equipped to apply techniques of financial risk management. The UCL program provides just that. With its summer placement tied a dissertation, this opportunity is, to me, the ideal way in which I can steer my learning towards an effective outcome.

My strong technical foundations have been crucial in providing me with the professional advantages in my past working experiences, which have continued to steer me towards pursuing a long-term career in financial risk management. My journey of opportunities first began in the risk monitoring department of XXXXX where I was tasked with daily and weekly risk reporting. Despite an immense stress from having to manage full-time studies and working part-time, my growing interest in risk kept me constantly motivated at work. It was supplemented by further experiences in XXXXXXXXX, where I ran daily Mark-to-market for traders and management reporting as a risk management intern. Moving on, I started as an intern within the Market Risk department of XXXXXXXX and was subsequently offered an Analyst role. As an analyst, I was tasked with analyzing risk profiles and monitoring utilization against various risk limits. Moreover, I play the crucial role of maintaining efficient dialogues with key stakeholders such as the Head of Treasury, and would very much like to believe that my vital contributions as an intern and analyst were commensurately recognized, having been awarded the Employee of the month award for my exceptional work and dedication.

Academically, I have sustained strong records throughout, having obtained a First Class Honors and attaining distinctions for various quantitative modules such as Mathematical Economics, Elements of Econometrics, Mathematics2 and Statistic2 during my undergraduate studies. Graduating as one of the top students in my cohort, I was subsequently awarded the SIM Bronze award of 2016 for my excellent results. I have also made significant efforts to broaden my knowledge in the risk field via pursuing the Financial Risk Manager (FRM®) designation, of which I have passed and managed to obtain 1st quantiles in all topics for the level 1 examination. In addition, I find myself already equipped with technical expertise such as Visual Basic Application (VBA), which have allowed me to develop and improve existing risk reporting infrastructure in my current role. Equipped with a solid foundation in mathematics, statistics, finance and financial risk, I believe I am sufficiently prepared to take on the thrills and challenges of the Master's program, and to contribute to the rich environment of finance/computer-science academia prevalent in UCL.

Looking forward, I am strongly convicted that pursuing Financial Risk Management at UCL will set me on the optimal career path. In the immediate future, after graduation...

Hi, I think the overall content of the essay is fine. I have a suggestion about " what particularly attracts you to this program". Your description of the UCL financial risk management is not specific enough. It is better to include some details, like a course or seminar that particularly interests you. This will strengthen your aspiration to enter the program.

Joe, there are a number of problems with this essay that do not make it an effective personal statement. For starters, your responses do not really tally with the questions being asked. For example, when you are asked about why you want to study FRM at the graduate level, the response should not be theoretical, descriptive, or leading into a response as to why you chose UCL. Rather, it should explain what professional reasons you have for the study. What motivates you to study FRM at a higher level aside from these academic reasons? What work related reasons do you have? Reasons such as wishing to pursue promotions on the job or starting your own company will be more impressive than simply saying you want t build on your theoretical knowledge.

Now, I can understand why you want to study at UCL but you have not really been specific about what attracted you to the program. Try to respond in a manner that showcases the type of professional growth that you will have through the training you will receive at UCL. That means, you need to emphasize the summer placement programs and how you plan to use that to increase your professional qualifications. Everything else that you said in this essay is just word filler. It does not really tell the reviewer anything that will increase his knowledge about you in response to the listed questions. Your response to why you want to study at UCL and what attracts you to this program should be merged into one extremely strong response.

While your response to the academic and professional background is sufficient, your indication of your programming background is not. You do not really depict a familiarity with specific programming languages as indicated in the question. You have to indicate specific programs that you have used in your line of work and what other related software you have learned to use during your off time in relation to FRM.

With regards to where you would like to go with your degree, this is a response that should tie in directly with your reasons for wanting to study this course at the graduate level. Close the essay with your 5 year plan or immediate plans for your career soon after graduation. Think forward, say, six months into your future after you graduate if you cannot plan ahead by 5 years.