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Stepping Out - Peace Corps, Essay 2



miajones 2 / 3  
Oct 25, 2010   #1
Do I make a persuasive case? And do I fully respond to the essay prompt?

And here is my response:

Teaching and Learning - Stepping out



Two plane rides, one shuttle ride, two bus transfers, and 24 hours later I had arrived in my new town: Apt, France - a small town, surrounded by even smaller villages, with no train station and a limited bus schedule. I knew where I was going and why (to teach English and explore Europe), but I did not know what was going to happen.

And I felt lost the moment I arrived and met the head English teacher, who would be my mentor during the 2006-2007 school year. Although I had taken French classes throughout high school and fulfilled my university's language requirement, I could neither understand what was being said when spoken to nor coherently compose a sentence. Plus no textbook lesson or listening activity could have prepared me for the colloquial, informal French that abounded.

Anxiety and fear consumed me. I was afraid of sounding like a fool, or getting strange looks when my pronunciation was off, or being laughed at for confusing two similarly sounding words. For the first few weeks I was paralyzed by this fear and isolated myself from the school and the community.

However, I knew that if I let fear take over, I would have missed out on experiencing true French culture. Rather than staying holed up in my room, I regularly went to the outdoor farmer's market, attended gallery openings, film festivals and local events, and had drinks at the only bar in town. Through this openness to learn and engage with the local people I created partnerships of mutual exchange.

Through the 8 months, I still made grammatical blunders and on occasion ate with the wrong utensils, but through observation and tactfully posing questions, I managed to adapt to the cultural differences and integrate into the community. Ultimately, my passion for teaching and learning, whether in the traditional classroom setting or by living abroad, is what I will bring as a volunteer to the Peace Corps.

ABoris 2 / 6  
Oct 25, 2010   #2
I felt like you did make a persuasive case. Great examples of how you assimilated into the French community. This shows that you respectfully integrated yourself into, your host community and culture .
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 31, 2010   #3
This one must be tough for people who do not have many multicultural experiences...

Two plane rides, one shuttle ride, two bus transfers, and 24 hours later I had arrived in my new town: Apt, France - a small town, surrounded by even smaller villages, with no train station and a limited bus schedule. ---interesting start, but it is so strange to begin with this sentence about something happening later. As your attorney I advise you to add a sentence at the BEGINNING to precede this, but your challenge is to make it a sentence of no more than seven words, and no commas! That is your challenge.

Through the 8 eight months, I still made grammatical blunders -----another excellent term. I am learning some cool things from you, like grammatical blunder and "fancily-titled job."

This is wicked impressive. Proceed with confidence! It is pretty impressive that you did this Europe trip and now you are doing the Peace Corps.
OP miajones 2 / 3  
Oct 31, 2010   #4
Thank you for boosting my ego!

Unfortunately, I have always had issues with run-on sentences... I try to break them up, but it changes the tone.

I will try and rethink the opening. Maybe, I will say something about making the decision to go abroad...


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