My struggle with letter of Interest for master degree

Hi All,

I want to apply to one of Canadian uni and they asked for letter of interests, can you please help me editing the below letter:

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To: YYY University, Office of Graduate Admissions

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is abc. I accomplished a comprehensive Undergraduate Program with honors in Computing and Information Systems at the University of London (Goldsmith Collage, UK) in the year 2006. The challenges in the curriculum have inspired me to pursue my graduate studies towards a master degree. As mentioned in my resume, I have as well some teaching and industrial experiences, which strengthen my practical perspective on my area of specialization.

With this letter I wish to put across my interests in studying a research Master degree program in Computer graphics under Computer Science department at Your University.

My aim is to work in animation, game and graphics field related to game and computer graphics industry. Therefore I would like to gain a deeper theoretical and educational knowledge in computer science and graphics. I believe YYY University with an interdisciplinary Master degree course in Computer Science and Engineering is the best place to achieve my career objectives. I completed bachelor's degree with a Second Lower Honor. To further prepare myself, I have working experience of more than three years as an application specialist and software and database developer in different companies such as ZZZ, after my bachelor study. Thus I gained a valuable practical experience in computer programming, web development and application design. I accomplished a comprehensive bachelor thesis by designing and programming an intelligent line follower robot. I tremendously enjoyed my experience.

I have a sound knowledge and interest in computer graphics and game design, artificial intelligence, and computer programming like java, C++, etc. My long term goal is to be actively involved with research in an area that I love.

The ambitions which I have just exposed to you would not be realized without a solid theoretical background and a strong real world experience specialized in computer graphics. I am deeply convinced that research master degree course that the YYY University offers is the best way of concretizing this future because of its orientations and research groups.

A completion of this Master's Degree at YYY University will be an excellent springboard for my future career and will provide me the knowledge and confidence to realize my dreams. Furthermore, the courses this program combines match perfectly my professional projects and academic expectations.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely,
abc
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My name is abc. I accomplished a comprehensive Undergraduate Program with honors in Computing and Information Systems at the University of London (Goldsmith Collage, UK) in the year 2006. The challenges in the curriculum have inspired me to pursue my graduate studies towards a master degree. As mentioned in my resume, I have as well someteaching and industrial experiences, which strengthen my practical perspective on my area of specialization.

A completion of this Master's Degree at YYY University will be an excellent springboard for my future career and will provide mewith the knowledge and confidence to realize my dreams. Furthermore, the courses, this program combines, perfectly match forperfectly my professional projects and academic expectations.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.I am eagerly waiting for your kind reply and really appreciate your time and concern.

Hello ah_zafari,

Thank you for your comments...
please find below, the letter with the changes.
Kindly let me know if it needs more changes.
FYI, currently I dont have any publications, but I write sth abt my teamwork n communication skills...hope it's not too much! :)
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To: YYY University, Office of Graduate Admissions

Really appreciate your prompt answer and great help.

Thank you

i think you should add this line at the bottom.

It would be a great honor for me if given an opportunity to pursue further studies at your highly esteemed university.