It is not "P", it is "B". Salwa is from egypt, They don't have a 'P" sound. I see the frustration on her face. I feel helpless myself. I take a deep breadth and say, "let's take it from the start again." This was 8 months ago. Today, she may not be as fluent as she wants to be, but she can construct meaningful english sentences. We watch american sitcoms together, my idea of introducing her to every day american life. She even manages to get the sarcastic humor of Seinfeld sometimes.
I am no authority on written and spoken english. But I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to study in good english medium schools and access to every kind of book possible. I also knew, how important communication skills were. It gnaws at your confidence when you lack it. I have experienced that myself. So, when I realized I could volunteer at an organization called Literacy Unlimited, and make a difference in one person's life, I did not hesitate. I have been working with my egyptian student as an ESL tutor for last 8 months, hoping to make her dream of becoming an account, come true. And she, in turn has introduced me to egyptian cuisine and culture.
On the surface, I think I am like most young and modern women. I am ambitious and organized. I believe that knowledge and hard work goes hand in hand and is always rewarded. What makes me different, is, my ability to connect with people. I am a good listener and that has garnered me a lot of friends. But I am also very proactive. I don't believe in giving suggestions. I take initiatives. I have taken small initiatives with in my community to help out women. Most of the women, I know are on a certain visa, that does not allow them to work. In the beginning, it is easy to think of it as a welcome break. But with time, boredom takes over leading to resentment. I have been actively involved in arranging arts and crafts classes, book clubs and language learning classes. The agenda is to learn some thing new every day. I see far more happier faces around me and that I feel rewarded.
As a student at your business school, I will not only bring with me strong commitment to academic success, staunch work ethics, leadership skills and dedication, but also my enthusiasm for life and people. To say,I work well with people is an understatement. A lot of business school is about working on projects in a group. I am also capable of taking creative initiatives. My strong GPA and GMAT also indicates, I work well under pressure. I know that there is nothing I can not accomplish once I set my mind to it. Hence, I think I would be an asset and a refreshing addition to the class of 2010.
yes, there are many grammatical mistakes here.
Your first paragraph seems as if you are talking about someone else, which you shouldn't be. You should focus on yourself.
"I am no authority on written and spoken english. But I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to study in good english medium schools and access to every kind of book possible."- add a comma before but.
"What makes me different, is, my ability to connect with people." - no comma needed here
Give more specific examples about how you are a good person, proactive, Etc/
There are many parts in your essay that need commas, and so places where the commas should be removed. Look over your essay again and you should spot them.
