Tell us why you're here...and where you plan to go. Personal Statement for MAC program at UNC

Help request:
ideas, structure, language.

Question:
Tell us why you're here...and where you plan to go.

In about 500 words (no more than one, single-spaced page), describe why you want to earn a Master of Accounting degree at the UNC Kenan-Flagler Business School.

A few items to consider as you prepare this essay:
•How you will enrich the legacy of UNC's Master of Accounting Program?
•What life or work experience or community service has shaped who you are?
•What leadership experiences demonstrate that you are prepared for this program?
•What experiences that led to you considering a career in accounting?
•What professional goals do you have and how will our program help you reach them?

We want to know why you want to earn a Master of Accounting degree from UNC Kenan-Flagler. Why is accounting or finance the right career for you?

Essay:

systematic accounting knowledge

I have always wanted to make a difference and utilize my ability to make contribution in this rapidly-changing world. More specifically, I want to become a successful investor and philanthropist like Warren Buffett who creates wealth as well as benefits the poor. To accomplish this long-term objective, I understand that the first step I need to take is to become a knowledgeable financial practitioner. Thus, during my undergraduate study, I chose to study in the major of Financial Mathematics and Risk Management with minor in Computer Science, which benefit me to gain an exhaustive insight about financial analytical knowledge and grasp powerful gauges to assist me handle the gargantuan data effectively.

Nevertheless, the deeper my study went, the more I realized that the important role accounting skills play in financial analysis. For example, all analysis and predictions are based on existing data and facts, and a major information source is the financial statements and annual reports. The financial statements released to the public contain more information then the numbers such as the company's operating strategy, capital structure and health condition. All of these factors could crucially affect the investment decision. Moreover, sometimes the financial statements released to the public might be manipulated due to some reasons. A sharp-sighted analyst should be capable of cutting through the noise and digging out the veritable operation situation of the business.

In the last year, I attended a summer internship in Ernst & Young in Beijing. This internship was meaningful and beneficial to me. Being fully involved in the audit program also changed my previous stereotypical opinion about accounting. In addition to calculating, book-keeping and dealing with cash transactions, an outstanding account should have a comprehensive insight into the true condition of the company's operations and be capable of providing managerial suggestions and contributing in risk management.

I also enjoyed the active and dynamic working environment in the accounting firm during my internship. Along with, appropriate pressure is a booster for me to make progress. With the richness of experience, my career path is becoming more unambiguous. I plan to enter into one of the big four accounting firms upon my graduation of graduate study and will be working hard on passing the CPA test. The time frame I set up for this goal is five years. After that, I will look for an opportunity to work in an investment bank to further develop my professional capacities and gain some valuable experience., In my mid 30s, I plan to establish my venture capital company or act as an individual angel investor to help start-up companies to achieve a keep a steadily and robust growth. As the co-founder of a rapidly growing student organization in the current size of 300 members, I believe I have such leadership and boldness.

I am well aware that what I need the most to make this picture come true and what I hope to gain from this program is systematic accounting knowledge. Meanwhile, I wish to have the opportunity to meet some prestigious UNC alumni and listen to their stories. I believe that by participating in this project, I will have the chance to meet more people who have similar interests and pursuits with me. I firmly believe that studying in one of the world's top five and most prestigious universities could be the most far-reaching and valuable decision to me.

1st paragraph second last line, which benefited is the right word

2nd para
the more I realized the importance of accounting skills in financial analysis.

Jiayun, I like the essay that you developed but it is not always on target with the prompt requirements of the essay. There is a reason that the university gave you a number of guide questions to aide you in developing your essay. While some of your response can be assigned as a response to the question posed, not all of your responses are aligned with the guidelines. You don't have to worry though, you can still manage to align your revised essay with the prompt.

In order to properly revise your essay, you should not write the response in essay format yet. It would be best for you outline your response in a question and answer format first. If you write your response to the questions in that method, you will have effectively drafted your essay in a more prompt adherent format. One reason that this method of drafting your essay will work well for you is because you will be able to expand upon your response without being distracted by the other unrelated essay content.

Once you are satisfied with that you have written in response to each question, you can now take those numerical responses and format it into a draft essay, which you will then review for length and content. If you feel that the essay is running too long, you can now edit it for length. At this point, we can also better help you with regards to the editing of your content and tightening of your essay coverage. Right now, I don't really feel that the essay you developed reflects the information that the guides were trying to lead you to answer.

@Holt
Could you please help me take a close look on my revised version? Mainly focus on the ideas and language. Also the current words count is 700+, however, the limit is 500. Thank you!

I have always wanted to make a difference and utilize my competence to make contributions in this rapidly-changing world. More specifically, I want to become a successful investor and philanthropist like Warren Buffett who creates wealth as well as benefited the poor. To accomplish this long-term objective, I understand that the first step I need to take is to become a knowledgeable financial practitioner.

Thus, during my undergraduate study, I chose to study Financial Mathematics and Risk Management with minor in Computer Science, which benefit me to gain an exhaustive insight about financial analytical knowledge and learn using powerful tools to assist me to effectively handle the gargantuan data. With constantly working on academic courses, I grew to perceive the significance of maintaining the rigorous academic style with integrity when we coped with financial problems. More inspiringly, my well-trained logical thinking skill supported my strong learning ability and increased my confidence of pursuing my master's program, which would provide strong theoretical support for future work.

Nevertheless, the deeper my study went, the more I realized the importance of accounting skills in financial analysis. For example, every time I work on my case studies, the major information source is the financial statements and annual reports, because analysis and predictions driving from these accurate data and facts are more reliable. Also, the supplementary notes contain more information such as the company's operating strategy, capital structure and health condition. All of these factors could crucially affect the investment decision.

In the last year, I attended a summer internship in E&Y in Beijing. This internship was meaningful and beneficial to me. Being fully involved in the accounting firm also changed my previous stereotypical opinion about accounting. Moreover, I enjoyed myself in the active and dynamic working environment at there. I did some fundamental analysis to the financial statements, but in the meantime, I realized being able to simply interpret data is far from enough. In addition to calculating, book-keeping and dealing with cash transactions, an outstanding accountant should have a comprehensive insight into the true condition of the company's operations and be capable of providing managerial suggestions and contributing in risk management. Moreover, sometimes the financial statements released to the public might be manipulated due to some reasons. A sharp-sighted analyst should be capable of cutting through the noise and digging out the veritable operation situation of the business. Therefore, recognizing the gap between my current knowledge level and my ambitious aspiration motivates me to study in this program.

With the richness of experience, my career path is becoming more unambiguous. I plan to enter into one of the big four accounting firms upon my graduation of graduate study and will be working hard on passing the CPA test. The time frame I set up for this goal is five years. After that, I will look for an opportunity to work in an investment bank to further develop my professional capacities and gain some valuable experience., In my mid 30s, I plan to establish my venture capital company or act as an individual angel investor to help start-up companies to achieve a keep a steadily and robust growth.

As the co-founder of a rapidly growing student organization in the current size of 300 members, I used to closely collaborate with internal and external partners. This leadership experience cultivates my interpersonal and business communication skill, which will definitely help me lead our team to smooth functioning in completing our group work.

I am well aware that what I need the most to make this picture come true and what I hope to gain from this program is systematic accounting knowledge. Meanwhile, I wish to have the opportunity to meet some prestigious UNC alumni and listen to their stories. I believe that by participating in this program, I will have the chance to meet more people who have similar interests and pursuits with me. I firmly believe that studying in one of the world's top five and most prestigious universities could be the most far-reaching and valuable decision to me. After admitted by this program, I will strive to become a successful investor like my spiritual idol Warren Buffett with what I am going to learn from UNC and my persistence to benefit our society.

Jiayun, you can start lessening your word count by completely deleting the third paragraph. The reason that you can do this without affecting the rest of the essay is because you are simply detailing the work involved in Risk Management. The reviewer already knows all of this information and does not need the refresher course that the paragraph includes. So, in an effort to lessen your word count, you can cut that paragraph. The essay will then be 628 words in total.

Then proceed to delete paragraph 5. This is a personal statement, not a statement of purpose. Therefore, the 5 year plan should not be included in this discussion. Save that for the statement of purpose instead. Number of words after this deletion? 519. Relevance of your responses? Much improved and more relevant towards the prompt requirements.

Rather than saying you are the co-founder of a rapidly developing group, mention the name of the group. The reviewer will definitely want to fact check your claims regarding the group so be sure to include only accurate and truthful information. Don't hurt your application by presenting non-verifiable or erroneous claims in your statement. You could lose your chance at admission if you do that.

If you remove the last sentence in the last paragraph that mentions Warren Buffet again, your essay will narrow itself down to 484 words. Well within the 500 word maximum. There is no need to keep reminding the reviewer that you wish to become the next Warren Buffet. You need only do that once in order to avoid redundancy. Besides, you are not applying for a job at one of Mr. Buffet's company. So it is best to mention him only once in reference to the inspiration that he provides you to create a career along this path.

@Holt
Thanks for your advice. After I done with deletion process, what would you like me to do to better improve this essay?

Once you have completed the deletion process, the essay should be ready for use. All it will require is one more read through on your end to make sure that there are no typographical errors, punctuation problems, or grammatical errors. The content of your essay seems to better respond to the prompt requirements at this point so I cannot think of anything else to add to the information that you already have presented.

The only portion that I would have wanted to learn more about is the background of the group that you founded. What is name is, the objective of the group, and its relevance to your future college community participation if any. The way that you have the organization currently presented, it seems that it was integral to the development of your interest in your course of study so it might have some extreme importance or point of consideration for the reviewer to know about. So if you can adjust the essay to shed some more light on that activity, I think you will be able to present a highly important piece of information. It is relevant to the guide question "What leadership experiences demonstrate that you are prepared for this program? " so make sure to highlight that part in whatever way you can.

@sunjiayun

Your statement is quite generic in that you can replace "UNC" with the name of any other school of similar rank and it would still work. Your statement will strengthen if you would just try to find out more how the UNC program differs from the rest --- not only about rank and how "prestigious" it is, but something more specific and concrete --- and see how you can incorporate this information into the essay with respect to the guide questions so that it reads and feels like you really want to get into THIS school, and not read like you simply submit the same essay to ten schools with only the name replaced.