Hi this is the first draft of my SOP. Please review it and provide suggestions to make it better.
Thanks for your time. :)
Statement of Purpose
It was my second year in college. I had a chance to take up computer programming as part of my curriculum. I still remember the good times I used to spend in the Computer Science lab typing out programs in C-language. As a result of my interest, I was awarded with a good grade in that subject. That is when I came to know that I had a natural inclination towards computers, which has now become a desire, a driving force to pursue my Masters in Computer Science.
During the last two years, besides the college academics I spent most of my time attending a number of extra-curricular workshops, seminars and conferences in different fields of computer science. I have acquired an excellent knowledge of programming languages like C, C++, JAVA, and .NET through certifications done out my self-interest. I have also found penchant for Network Security, Operating System and Data Structures. I also had the opportunity to present a seminar on OSI model of computer networking, during an intercollege competition. I am at ease with tools like Adobe Photoshop and Dreamweaver, and have won many poster designing contests in DAKSH, national level technical festival conducted by my university.
I was really amazed by the potential of computers and their use in mechanical field when I was exposed to subjects like Computer-aided Design (CAD) and Computer-aided Manufacturing (CAM). This motivated me to do my final year project on Machining of various materials using CNC machines, which involved learning CNC machine G-Code. I had to learn about the network connection that connected multiple CNC machines to a single computer. I also prepared a Computer-aided model for the components that were being machined in my project. And by the time the project was completed successfully, I got to know how computers are being used effectively and efficiently in industries.
After my college, I believed that in order to be aware of current industry standards, and to expand my knowledge base, I needed to have a work experience in this ever-changing field. And so I secured a job at Tata Consultancy Services (TCS), a leading IT company in India. Here, I have been introduced to technologies like Cloud Computing and Virtualization. I have been trained mainly on J2EE and have designed a complete application which provides billing solutions for a Telecom Company. I learned insights of professional development on JAVA/J2EE platform by developing this application. As a developer, I have been designing e-Learning courses with web 2.0 technologies such as Flex. Using Flash and Action Script 3, I have developed a self-learning module that can be used for training new workers. What I have learnt on the job has moulded me to be more independent, to be able to be more pragmatic, to be more spontaneous and made me realize the importance of working together as team.
I am certain that ... is the right choice for me, since it provides a rare combination of academic advantages. It is one of the most versatile universities providing individual attention and substantial academic resources along with superior education in the field of Computer Science. I will obtain an education that gives me both, the technical skills and the intellectual discipline to become a leader in industry. It is the meeting spot of a number of social lives and cultural ideas. In all, it is a comprehensive university that furnishes an education that will serve me well in my career and prepare me for a lifetime of learning.
I am sure that my strong motivation, my undergraduate experience, my work exposure and my analytical aptitude will help me to measure up to the rigors of graduate study. Finally I take this opportunity to thank you for enabling me to express myself and I look forward for my admission into the graduate program of your esteemed university.
Hello! I think this personal statement has a nice balance of your past experiences and makes it clear what has led you to career in computer science. The part that isn't clear to me after reading it is why you think you need a masters degree, and I think a sentence or two about how a MA or MS degree can help you reach certain goals or do certain things is necessary. It could go in the last paragraph. One other thing I think you need is to punch up the final sentence--remember, this is the last chance you have to make an impression on the reader, so using a great word or writing a more interesting sentence might be a goal to strive for. In general, you seem like a great candidate for a masters degree and I think this statement is on the right track!
With respect to your comments, I have added this para to better explain why i need a masters degree. Is this enough??
My aspiration is very clear. I want to become a computer professional, and put my talents to optimal use. I enjoy performing investigative and innovative work, even more so when it leads to practical applications. A job involving creativity, innovation and flexibility has always been my ideal vision of a career. I am confident that higher education would give me the desired push towards such a career and an opportunity to do well in my chosen field of interest.
I have added this at the end to make it more strong. Should i need something(more specific). Shall i put some quote or something at the end??
I am sure that my strong motivation, my undergraduate experience, my work exposure and my analytical aptitude will help me to measure up to the rigors of graduate study. You will find in me a person giving his best in all challenging environments utilizing my knowledge and resources for mutual betterment.
Thank you for the comments and looking forward for more. :)
