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USC Marshall / What's the hardest thing you have ever done?

Ianthexx 2 / 2 2  
Feb 27, 2017   #1
Hi all,
I'm applying the MS in social entreprenuership program of USC. Here is my requested essay. Any comments will be appreciated : )

Essay Question: What's the hardest thing you have ever done? (300 word limit)

Youth Speak Project in AIESEC Mainland of China

Honor and fear both arrived when I was promoted to direct the Youth Speak Project in AIESEC Mainland of China. Proposed by this non-profit organization run by and for the youth, this campaign was aimed at figuring out how young adults prefer to engage with the implementation of Sustainable Development Goals through an online survey co-developed by the UN General Secretary's Envoy on Youth. The result is beyond surprise: 12,392 Chinese young adults answered the survey, doubling the expected goal and ranking at the first place among chapters at 126 countries and territories.

This is the most difficult task of my life because I had to entice the young adults who were barely interested in social relevant topics. The research conducted in 37 cities indicated a poor awareness of SDGs among Chinese college students. Accordingly, I decided to popularize SDGs by channeling viral communication strategies into 2 campaigns initiated on Weibo, the most influential social media in China. Then, I volunteered to chair the 2 AIESEC regional induction conference, appealing more than 1,000 freshmen to join in the campaign. With no advertising budget, I realized that the endorsement from United Nations could give us much needed exposure. Through cooperation with UNDP China, our project gained credibility, celebrity involvement, and sponsorship from Weibo PR team who presented our visualized survey to the targeted audience by the hashtag algorithm. Eventually, the campaign post was seen by more than 100,000 individuals.

Challenging as this journey is, it built my creative thinking to execute my ideas, honed my social media marketing skills to effectively communicate with the audience, and established the empathy as a team leader to make decisions bearing interests of the non-profit and for-profit stakeholders.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,594 3760  
Feb 27, 2017   #2
You may need to revise the beginning of your essay because you have to develop the discussion about how you coordinated with UNDP China in order to get your project funded. In actuality, I do not read any sense of apprehension or fear in your actions. You seem to be straightforward, capable, and fearless as a leader. Since this is supposed to be an essay about how you accomplished something hard, you have to show a sense of difficulty in your essay. Right now, everything sounds too free flowing and easily resolved in your statement. So even though the events sound difficult, you did not have any difficulty in resolving the situations. I am just a bit concerned that this may not be the proper way to respond to the prompt requirement. After all, the keyword is "hardest" and at the moment, nothing seemed too hard for you to accomplish in the task you related.
paras01 2 / 4  
Mar 3, 2017   #3
The essay does not express industrious task you have suffered. I believe you should express how hard you tried to perform that task.

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