"Wake up! It's already 6am!"; Autobiography for Physical therapy Graduate School

Please feel free to criticize my essay, and make any suggestions! If you'd like me to read your paper just let me know. Thanks I really appreciate it.

Prompt: Submit an autobiographical essay that includes information about your past educational, professional, and personal pursuits, and how they have brought you to the health sciences field. Include any additional information that would not be discerned through documents such as transcripts, resumes, etc.

"Wake up! It's already 6am!" was my conscience telling me every morning after repeatedly hitting the snooze button. Living in a household with seven other people was like a challenge. Trying to be the first in the shower before the hot water runs out; be the first into the kitchen to have the last bit of milk; or even be the first to turn on the television to watch my favorite shows. It felt as if I was in competition each day, especially with my sister-in a competition to leave behind the unsafe community we called home. As I got older, the competition became about being a better athlete, and student. However, as I finished my last year of elementary school, I remember receiving my report card and feeling self-accomplished because I earned straight A's. In that moment, I experienced an epiphany about my sense of competition: I realized it was not about the competition itself, but about my own self-purpose and devotion to strive. My sense of competition became my ambitions and desire.

My family could tell you that I am inherently self-driven and focused. However, I've been described several times as self-consumed. Being extremely ambitious at a very young age has caused me to overlook my surroundings and not understand the meaning of compassion. My sister and I were in the varsity team for high school volleyball, when one day at practice our coach made us run two miles. As I was finishing my first mile, my sister was nowhere to be seen until I glanced at the ground and saw her sprawled out on the floor. This was the moment where my life perception altered, and I learned about my sister's eating disorder which evoked an urge in me to take part of her life in helping her overcome her struggle. It is through this very experience that I learned that to me self-fulfillment is not only about focusing on one's own self-improvement, but also by empathizing with others. Through this experience I've developed into a character who understands what compassion is and who became impassioned in the health sciences.

During my experience with my sister's eating disorder I was involved in various sports including volleyball, soccer and basketball. By learning and understanding more about eating disorders, I started to recognize how prevalent these disorders are among athletes in competitive sports. This prompted me to become an assistant soccer coach for a girls soccer club in efforts to advocate a healthy lifestyle. In addition to my role as an assistant coach where I taught proper body mechanics, I also gave speeches explaining the importance of nutritional value to perform well and be physically healthy. I also brought healthy snacks, and drinks to every game to ensure the athletes remained energized and hydrated. Although my role as an assistant coach did not directly serve as an intervention for individuals with eating disorders, I know I made a small difference in a group of young athletes by advocating the importance of physical and nutritional health.

As my senior year was coming to an end, I was faced with one of the most critical/life changing decisions-attending college. During this time, my father had gambling problems causing a great financial burden that placed our home in jeopardy. After being accepted to San Diego State University, my mother was adamant about me not going to college and voiced that clearly to me. She wanted me to find a job instead. Despite of my mother's life plan for me, I decided to make my own decisions.

After graduating high school I held a seasonal job as a lifeguard. Upon completing the intense lifeguard training, the real pressure became present knowing that people's lives and safety were my primary responsibility. One day on stand, an elderly guest was going down a water slide, when a young individual came rushing down the slide right behind her. This caused the two people to collide. The elderly guest was immobile from the impact. As the first responder, I tried to calm the injured guest by explaining the importance of keeping her back stable and steady to prevent further injury. When the second responder arrived, we looked at each other knowing the critical part would be transferring the guest from the slide to the backboard while keeping her trunk stabilized and immobile. From this experience where I ensured the safety of the guests and provided proper treatment has taught me to react calmly and effectively in critical circumstances. It also reassured me that I made the right decision in pursuing a career in the health sciences.

After summer was over and college classes began, I started working as a tutor for grades K-12. I worked twice a week from 8am-6pm, went to school three times a week from 8am - 7pm and became part of the Future Physical Therapy Organization. Once summer came I decided to volunteer in a hospital, and at an orthopedic physical therapy clinic while still taking two courses for summer school. Although at times it was difficult to stick to a tight schedule and I felt I was treading water to stay afloat, I always remembered the little voice in my mind that told me "wake up and get up before the hot water runs out."

After the summer ended I landed my first job in my field of interest. I began working as a physical therapist aide for an orthopedic clinic. During my sophomore year of college, I was juggling being a full time student, an employee working 9-10hour shifts, an active member in Future Physical Therapist Organization, and volunteering in a Hospital. However my father's gambling addiction became worse and placed a major burden/stress on me. He spent money carelessly and had to ask family members for money, including myself. Twice a week, my father would ask me for money to pay the bills and to put gas in his car. This circumstance forced me into an unpleasant situation that tested my ability to make the right decision (despite of my emotions) when I discovered my father used part of the money I lent him for gambling. I decided to stop lending my father money and told my mother. Although this was an unpleasant situation, I learned how to manage my time, remain focused under stressful situation and most importantly, I learned how to make a decision based on what is ethically right opposed to an emotional judgment.

Reflecting on the past I learned and continued with optimism knowing that through these adversities I took something with me, the confidence in myself to make good decisions and in helping others. Throughout my experience as an assistant coach, life guard, active member in Future Physical Therapy Organization, my position as a Physical Therapist Aide, I knew I made a good decision in pursuing a career in the health sciences, in particularly, Physical Therapy. I discovered my interest in the importance of physical health, body mechanics and enjoyment in being able to make a difference in someone's life; not just by helping a patient regain their lost abilities, but to also help them regain their confidence. With optimism and determination I am ready to face the challenges of graduate school so one day, with certainty I can make a difference in someone's life.

Do you mind reading my paper as well? I am also trying to get into a DPT program. Thanks!


I think you can get rid of the especially with my sister. It's not needed. Also, I am unsure of what you mean by unsafe. Unsafe to me depicts something scary or dangerous. You say unsafe, but I don't get why home is unsafe. If you are saying the competion is unsafe I need to feel that element of danger while I'm reading. The paragrah works without that statement. or you can say living with 7 people was a challenge, especially with my sister. and use examples of competetion,but make them against her since she is the subject of the second paragraph.


you never want to make any negative statements about yourself (self-consumed). (not understanding meaning of compasion). I think you should start with My sister and I were... this would work well if you take my suggestion for paragraph one about focusing on competetion between you and her.


get rid of this, more negativity. too much information for the admission people. Say after being accepted...


due to some financial burdens that our family was currently facing


This paragrah doesn't go with the rest of the story. It's like some piece of random information you stuck in there. I know that there's a message you want to tell with this paragrah, but it doesn't mesh well with the rest of your essay. I wish I could give you and Idea on how to make this relate better. I know the feeling of really wanting to mention something in writing, but it not working with the rest of the essay. I think instead of this one you should just go right into that next paragrah about after summer was over...


get rid of this more negativity and extra/TMI for the admission people. it makes it sound like your complaining that you had trouble handeling the job. You don't want them to think you're easily discouraged or can't handel something. Just take this sentences out and say how you remembered the voice.


(comma)



:) you know what I'm going to say about this right?

Try this instead:


during this time, my family was experiencing more financial turmoil, and I found myself emotionally compromised. However,




experiences, community, and career involvement,


By the way I really liked your opening paragrah, it set the tone for the paper and I was very interested in what you had to say, but you need to be able to hold that interest and make all of the stories/experiences come full circle by the end.

These are only suggestions, you don't have to use any of them if you don't agree or you can use all of them, some of them whateve. Hope this helps and good luck!!!

Thank you! It really does help, I like you're suggestions!

I just finished taking a look at yours, let me know if you have any questions in regards to what I wrote or if there is anything else you'd like me to check.