Hey guys, I hope you review this letter and tell me if it's good enough or not. I still need some closure but how is it so far?
"There is no way around the hard work, embrace it." Roger Federer.
In this quote, Federer was talking about how to succeed in Tennis, for me, it's a very simple way to describe how to succeed in life.
Ten years ago, when I got accepted into Physical therapy school, people in Egypt didn't know about physiotherapists and what they do, but my Dad, a gynecologist, he was the one who explained to me important role in the healthcare system and how this profession is going to grow in the coming years.
His perception was right; physical therapy grew a lot during the last 10 years. It is now a well known profession; people ask about it and are keen and committed to the sessions and to their rehabilitation programs. There is still room for improvement, and there are a lot of things that we could be better at, and if each individual tried to improve his knowledge and skills, we can be pioneers of physical therapy in the Middle East.
As for myself, I completed my bachelor degree from October 6th University, on June 2010, with a general grade "Very excellent with honor". I tried to practice as much as I can even during the summers between the school semesters. After finishing my studies and my internship year, I worked in a reputable physical therapy center "International physical therapy center" and in public hospitals.
During these years I saw a lot of patients and a lot of cases, especially musculoskeletal patients, I read as much as I could about the cases that I encounter each day at my work, I attended manual therapy courses and workshops and I applied what I learned . Seeing the results of my work on my patients week after week excited me to go forward and know more.
The idea of a Master's degree came to my mind after noticing that during my practice I find myself lacking some skills in the patient evaluation step. I needed to answer the main questions which are why did it happen to this patient? And how can we avoid repeating the same injury? Knowing the answer to these questions will help me giving my patients a better care by correcting the imbalance that caused the injury not only treating their symptoms.
What attracted me to NYU Steinhardt Master of Arts program is that, out of all the programs that I looked into, it focuses on the basics and the foundations, on which we can plan our treatment. I loved Biomechanics during my studies but I don't apply it as much as I want in my treatment plan. The in depth analysis of movement in normal and abnormal human body is also an area that I love to know more about and about its new theories and experiments. I chose your program because it covers all that.
Personally, I would love to have the chance to study in USA, because the US educational system is well known for its excellence and enhanced learning experiences. Also, studying abroad will get me out of my comfort zone. It is not common here that a single girl travel abroad to learn. So to live in a different country so far from home and to encounter different people and cultures, it is a challenge that I cherish and need to help me grow as a person.
Hopefully, by getting the honor of being selected for your program, I will be able to pursue my professional and personal goals, to improve my skills and abilities in treating patients, to be an expert in musculoskeletal physiotherapy and maybe I would be able to start my own motion analysis center. In the future, I want to keep learning to achieve my dream of contributing to the development of the profession in my country by introducing new interventions and new ideas to the community of Egyptian physiotherapy and to be one of the pioneers of the profession in Egypt. It will give me the chance to know myself better and to evolve as a therapist and as a person.
It's it is not common
I'll i will be able to return to ...
It'll it will give me the chance
it is better when we avoid any contractions in academic writing
So guys, no further comments? other than the grammatical ones?
The essay itself, is it convincing to get approved? does it give a good impression?
OK, I will comment.
It looks like one of your big reasons in getting a Masters is to learn more about injury causes and prevention. But how would you use this in your actual practice? It seems like people generally don't see a physical therapist until they actually get hurt and need to recover, and by that time it is too late for prevention. Do you plan to change the way physical therapy is viewed and become more of a wellness maintainer than a rehabilitator? I guess I am asking how you specifically plan to use the knowledge you gain via the Masters degree in your practice. Actually, overall, your specific goals and career plans seem to be the weak link in your essay. In your whole essay it really only takes up half a sentence: "I'll be able to return to my country and achieve my career goals to start my own clinic, and to have an impact on the developing process of physical therapy in Egypt." Why exactly can't you do that now? What is holding you back, and why will getting this Masters degree change this situation. And try to add more specific details to that career plan - what impact to you want to make?
A couple more notes:
What kind of courses and workshops did you attend? It seemed a little vague to me.
Also, is this what you meant:
I tried to practice as much as I [could] even during the summer[s ] between [school semesters].
Thanks a lot for your feedback, I will edit my essay to clear some of the vague/ weak parts.
Regarding your first sentence, in physical therapy, it's important to know why the patient got this specific injury, for example, sometimes it is just a weak muscle somewhere that caused the imbalance in his body and caused the injury, so beside treating the symptoms, you have to help him avoiding getting the injury again by strengthening that weak muscle.
That's true SaPt, but you did say "And how can we prevent the injury before it happens? " - although maybe that would also apply to giving advice to a patient to prevent repeating the injury.
