Both wearing fashionably and quality of work are critical and prominent to success in the work

Nice appearance and the work quality

It is thought that the employees ought to dress up-to-date at the office while some others believe the work quality needs to be high on the pagoda. I will discuss both points of views and give my own perspective in the paragraph below.

To begin with, dressing smartly may play a part-and-parcel role at the office, which may bring many benefits in the work of many people. Firstly, the more fashionably employees dress, the more frequent jobs prospects those workers have. For example, no chairman desire to have any workers behind the times, which means mothers might sell them short. And every now and then, there are more opportunities for all individuals to promote in the case of wearing impressively. Finally, it is once in a blue moon that the Chief human resources officer in the large and high-qualified companies recruit a poor person, which means they may miss the boat to pursue successful careers.

On the other hand, someone believes there is no need to wear too fashionable clothes, because work quality is prioritize. First and foremost, this method may satisfy the passengers and improve the quality of services in many firms and companies. To addition, in my view, the big firms success thanks to the professional and hard-working people instead of modern employers.

In conclusion, according to many statistics, both wearing fashionably and quality of work are absolutely critical and prominent to success in the work. But in my perspective, if people want to have more promotion chances, they had better have both factors above.

Ok. For this 2 point of view with personal opinion discussion, you need to follow a specific format. If you can, try to follow this suggestion so that you can keep your 4 paragraph format since it appears you are more comfortable with this writing style.

For every reasoning paragraph, in this instance, you are using 2 paragraphs, the content should be as follows:

Sentence 1. Public point of view
Sentence 2: Refer to group discussion reasons (They, them, their) in the explanation that supports this topic
Sentence 3: Offer a counter argument based on a first person point of view (Me, myself, I)
Sentence 4: Give an example that proves your point
Sentence 5: Reiterate the truth of your claim

Using the above format not only helps you create more cohesive and coherent presentations, but it also allows you to score better overall. Such a presentation allows you to fully utilize your LR, GRA, and C&C skills in a manner that is perceived as advanced and impressive by the examiner.

Remember conjunction words like "But" and "Because" should not be used to start sentences since these are used to group words in reference to a thought. Also, use the 3 - 5 sentence presentation for the conclusion so that your presentation is a full recap of the previous discussion.