bauer267 1 / - Aug 1, 2010 #1Right now I have the following sentence in my conclusion paragraphThe scar from the accident is a personal reminder that failure is a precursor to success.However, in the context of my paper, starting the sentence with "the scar" is sort of abrupt (I discuss the accident in the introduction). I think the flow of the paper would make more sense if I had something likeFailure is a precursor to success, as evidenced by the scar from the accident.However I don't like this wording as much, as it feels much less "personal"Any suggestions?
Yayz 10 / 121 Aug 1, 2010 #2My greatest gift is to know that failure is precursor to success. I won't forget this because of my scar, it is a faithful reminder--my treasure.I might have taken the present idea a bit too far, but there's a suggestion =)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129 Aug 3, 2010 #3Here is what I noticed first:The scar from the accident is a personal reminder that failure is a precursor to success.I love examples of sentences that get stronger when you eliminate a modifier. (A "modifier" is an adjective or adverb) It's so interesting when a sentence becomes stronger and more poignant with the elimination of an unhelpful modifier.I think an abrupt use of the word scar could be cool.How about an action verb...I use the scar from the accident as a reminder ...Really, it depends on what you ate trying to accomplish for the reader. What do you want to make the reader feel during this sentence?By the way, be careful of making a theme out of "learning from my mistakes..." it is overused! Add your own unique twist.
courtney218 1 / 1 Aug 30, 2010 #4You could say something along the lines of:Failure is a precursor to success, and I am reminded of this whenever I see the scar from my accident.