Real estate's prices in Singapore have increased to 69% over the course of 5 years since 2009, making Singapore one of the most expensive real estate in the world (dent , 2011)
I am trying to include this evidence in my essay but not sure how to change it?
@BlueEyes; I would write it with below style.
Singapore has been one of the most expensive cities in the world which property dealing has significantly climbed to 69% during 5 years since 2009.
How about this?
Over the past five years since 2009, real estate's prices in Singapore have increased by 68 percent, making the country one of the most expensive places to live in the world.
Real estate prices in Singapore have increased a whopping 69%, for the five years preceding 2009. Now it is one of the most expensive real estate markets in the world (dent, 2011).
I think it's okay to condense and even comment on the facts. I think you want to avoid being repetitive.
Try writing it up a couple of different ways, and you're sure to get it! Just play with what is really necessary to include, and what is not. For example the word Singapore is mentioned twice, so I edited it out. Obviously you need the numbers, to be kept in, to get the fact across.
- Real estate
's prices in Singapore have increased...
I think aside from eliminating the stress on estate , the additional information should be fine.
Paraphrasing your sentence is a good way to find potential mistakes and enhancements to your sentences that will make your sentence more appealing to your readers and to make sure that you get your message across.
This is also one way of proof reading, making sure that you have written it finely and you didn't leave any fundamental facts behind.
More so, it justifies the sentences you have and the thought of the ideas you brought into the essay or your writing piece.
I do hope that you can post the essay here on EF so we can help you further.
For now, I hope this little remark helps!