Writing Feedback / Extinct Animals - Essay [2]

I need your comments about my essay...Please and if I have problem in my writing, tell me??

Nowadays, many animals have disappeared from the earth whether by natural reasons or human's hands particularly the extinct animals which we need to pay more attention to protect them from vanishing. In fact, I disagree with idea that animals have been created to serve human being so that we have the right to do whatever we want on them. I strongly support the claim that extinct species will only be saved if the public have changed its behaviors such as destroying lands and hunting.

Destroying lands plays an important factor which threatens the existence of animals. As an excuse of expanding economy and investment, many people start devastate forests in order to build buildings, flats, factories and farms. Accordingly, lands shrink and animals become exposing to the anger of natural without shelters. Furthermore, if people do not take animals homes, they spoil their lands by producing the factories garbage, dirt and poisons. As a result that led at the end to a massacre of animals.

Besides, Land detriment, haunting is another element which helps animals to disappear. Haunters hunt animals to sell their valuable parts which are considered very expensive. For instance, in Africa, hunters exert great efforts to track down rhinoceros to gain its costly horns which people use to make daggers that cost from 500YR to 2millions YR. Also, Ivory trade aids to reduce the number of African elephants to 400,000 the end of century.

In summary, we have to stop demolish forests, which are the homes of animals, and hunting animals to save endangered species then keep the balance in the earth. We should not forget that we still need them in our meals. In my opinion, protecting those animals is not person's duty but it is of all human being's accountability.

Writing Feedback / About the Grad CF Course (difficulty, diversity) [3]

please check my essay and tell me your opinion??

The Grade CF course is one of the hardest levels at Exceed institute that is compulsory for students to pass in order to graduate. This course has a lot of vocabulary and very difficult novels. When I started this term, I was so anxious because many people have scared me of the complicity and intensity of that module which called Scientific Module. At the end of the course, however; I found out that this course was one of the easiest modules I have ever studied at Exceed because of two main reasons.

The first reason was the competent teacher we had that facilitated the difficulty of the course. In each unit, the teacher helped us to memories the vocabulary by making many competitions between the students. Also, during the course, the teacher allowed the other class, conversation class, to mingle with us, and we had very interesting topics to discuss. Moreover, the teacher had a funny way of controlling the class by using the whistle that helped him to give an equal opportunity to each student to talk and express her/his opinion.

Besides the first reason, the diversity of the topics in the curricula of Grad CF course was the other main reason that made us eager to know more. This course has three units which are related to the medical field. The topics were too fascinating for us to talk about like how life begins and what genetically engineered means. Also, the stories were wonderful that are not only have a lot of beneficial vocabulary but also they were amazing stories with their weird plots.

To wind it up, the Grad CF course was one of the impressive courses I have ever taken at Exceed because of the qualified teacher we had and the different topics of the curricula. I recommended students to go ahead and study grade CF at Exceed and never pay any attention to others opinions because people judge things according to their different experiences.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: Raise children in City or Suburbs? [8]

It is better to raise children in the city than in the suburb?? Do you agree or disagree?

No wonder, Childhood is the most important stage of human's life especially when this stage has a strong impact which lasts forever. Thus, I personally prefer to raise my children in the city than in the country suburbs.

First of all, I will raise my children in the city, for all my family lives in the city. My children will rise up with the warm atmosphere of their relatives. They will grow up with the all my family, and they will learn how family is important to everyone as well as they will learn how to respect and to listen to the oldest people in the family. Moreover, they will deal with the grandparents and listen to their stories which are difficult to be erased from the memory of the children and that will help them to broaden their imagination and give them a fascinating picture about the world outside their narrow world.

Besides, the atmosphere in the city is suitable for my children to build up their personalities properly to face this tough world. For instance, during my children lives in the city, they will be able to meet many people with diverse characters and experiences that will be addition to their experiences in this life. Accordingly, they will be able to handle their problems and deal with them bravely.

To wind it up, life in the city will be more appropriate to me to raise my children. In fact, we have to be careful about the childhood stage of our children since it will be the reflection of their future and whether they will be successful or miserable in their overall lives.

Undergraduate / Personal circumstances (that would be useful for us to consider your application) [5]

Write an essay about personal circumstances that you think would be useful for us to consider your application??

I would appreciate your comments and you improvement on my essay... Thanks a million guys!!

Personal circumstances give us new experiences and broaden our narrow sight, even it could help us to get more comprehensive understanding of the world, the society and our life itself. I believe there are two charming qualities that were likely to influence the person I am now.

Throughout my childhood to my teen years, I have dealt with the financial problems of my family. My parents came from Hodeidah and struggled financially because they moved without anything and we had to adjust to a new, different environment. Moving from place to place, bouncing from school to school, and from community to community. I didn't understand why my friends at school had all luxurious life and the latest technology while I could hardly keep up with the essential things that could keep me alive. My parent's sacrificial heart made them separated for us to live, and the obligation of the family had forced my father to stay away from us. And my mother had to play the parental role alone. She helped, protected, supported, and stood by us whenever she felt that we started to mess up. We experienced various hardships alone, but we could overcome them. In return, my parents' sacrifice made me strong-willed and determined to get a good education and become successful person who deserved their sacrifice. And I realize that parents have a kind of instinct to sacrifice a part of their happiness for the best life of their children.

Besides to the sacrificing quality from my parents, independence was the second attribute which affected my life time. Since I graduated from secondary school, I started to work as a nurse and helped with the expenses of the family. I used to work for more than twelve hours a day and at that small age, it was really difficult time for me because I was never far away from home for such a long time. However, from that very moment, my family started to count on me that helped to shape my personality as a responsible, and a respectful member in the family. Furthermore, As I started my practical life early, I used to pay for all my college expenses as well as family needs. I became the person whom my parents rely on. Whenever, my family confronts a financial hardship, they ask for my help as well as when there is an important decision they should make, I am used to be a person whose opinion is important.

General speaking, sacrifice and independence attributes have transformed my character as it is now and have made me a women of clear vision to future. In my opinion, life is only achieved through meaningful personal change and it is easy to see how what may appear to you as the biggest problem of your life, may in fact be your greatest spiritual benefit and positively reflect your entire life.