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Posts by babydoll
Joined: Mar 16, 2008
Last Post: May 16, 2010
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babydoll   
Mar 28, 2008
Writing Feedback / Definition of Education-Need filter words & eliminate repetition paragrap. [14]

Hi thank you for feedback, I think I will have to work on one paragraph at a time here by starting with revising the italicize introduction.

This is my goal, this time I hope I answer the question and all the paragraphs flows eliminating repetition. I need to work on combining sentences. It's been 20 years for me since I been to school so bare with me. This is my first semester returning to college has it's challenges.

Students benefit from a good education if they have excellent teachers, books, and funding. Our first teachers, who were are parents that brought us into this world, raised us, become responsible for their children's education from five to eighteen years old, so teachers can enlighten students to become knowledgeable and prepare them for college. In providing good education teachers are the most important ingredient in shaping student's lives. Federal funding supports and provides teachers good books, supplies and safe environment to meet at our elementary, junior high, high school and college. Teachers are artist who gather and interpret books for students to comprehend at our level of understanding. Good teachers would use their own methods supported by the government's guidelines in providing education. Textbooks are also an important element in good education for teachers to interpret for students to gain wisdom. Good teachers need to be very well dynamic in knowledgeable in each subject like arithmetic, writing, reading and history in our education system. The ratio of students assign to a teacher is hard to keep the attention of 15/30 students. It's important for teachers to have good classroom setups, a sense of humor, ability to discipline, utilize visual aids enhancements, and also be artists.

The bold print, I don't know if I should include this,"Our first teachers, who were are parents that brought us into this world, raised and encouraged us, become responsible for their children's education from five to eighteen years old, so teachers can enlighten students to become knowledgeable and prepare them for college." in the introduction or leave it out.

Any constructive criticizism is greatly appreciated. I think I need to move sentences and combined them as well. I'm not to sure if I know how to work on this. I'm also receiving other feedback however their confliction in our time days/week. Getting the same person to help me is also a challenge.
babydoll   
Mar 26, 2008
Writing Feedback / Definition of Education-Need filter words & eliminate repetition paragrap. [14]

Traits in Good Teachers

How are students going to benefit from education without teachers, books, and funding. Teachers are a major ingredient in shaping student's purposes in life. Funding supports teachers in providing good books in the beginnings of an good education for students. Teachers are artist who gather and interpret books for students to comprehend at our level of understanding. Good teachers need to be very well dynamic in knowledgeable in each subject like arithmetic, writing, reading and history in our education system. The ratio of students assign to a teacher is hard to keep the attention of 15/30 students. Our first teachers, who were are parents that brought us into this world, raised us, become responsible for their children's education from five to eighteen years old, so teachers can enlighten students to become knowledgeable and prepare them for college. Good teachers have traits enhancing us to prepare and inspire students for their passion in life, using workstation method, teaching them responsibility by live humorous presentations, enforcing self-discipline, and using visual and encouraging parent participation.

For the bold can I used the word independantly
By allowing children a chance to be independant will allow children taking control of their own education.

One method of classroom setup encourages students is the use of work stations. Classroom setup and design is a good way to get and keep the attention of students. Workstations are a good way to encourage different types of learning visual, audio, and tactile. By allowing children a chance to choose which activities they want to participate in, children are taking control of their own education. At the elementary level, children are always learning and sometimes don't even know it. Nevertheless, preschool teachers may utilize workstations like arts and craft, game area for animated toys, gardening outside and popup animated book reading. For example, Arborland Montessori Children's Academy one station was for gardening and we could plant seeds and check them every day to see how much they had grown.

Obviously, parents, our first teachers, share their duties with preschool teachers. We discovered our natural instincts having curiosity, observant senses, and movement of our body parts. Preschool teachers help us with our hand, eye coordination through educational colorful Fisher Price toys games that are either animated with sound like listening to talking books, building color shaped blocks or buttons we learn to push that lights up. Therefore they will divide large number of toddlers into groups' activities rotating groups on day to day basis. When toddlers don't always get their way with another toddler, they fight over a toy, preschool teachers' resolves conflict resolutions, and they tend to be our mediator breaking up the war zone. Preschool teachers tend to punished them for their bad behavior for instance, stands in the corner quietly for 10 minutes. Teachers taught us from right and wrong situations resolving conflicts at an early age. If a teacher has control of his/her class most likely students will listen and have the desire to learn.

Generally, a good teacher who has humor, will be able to take a boring subject and liven it up. For example, if a teacher makes a boring lesson, some students can have problems learning and may lose concentration. Furthermore, some teachers have a good sense of humor they make jokes and accept jokes. They are not comedians, but they are entertaining. They tell stories, point out silly things, bring joy to difficult situations, and are not afraid of laughter. They use humor to connect with their students keeping their interest and concentration.

In addition, good teacher also enforces discipline, which allows students to become responsible. Students who don't care says, "Why do we have to come to class sit in our chair with desk, listen quietly, write notes and give our full total attention to our teachers, who give great presentations?" Without our complete undivided attention, how would the teacher know if we all are learning here? Our teacher is not going to force us to write down notes. It's our privilege to write down notes for remembering key points for a test given later. We have to be taught self-discipline to become responsible students; we learn this from our first teachers, our parents. As part of disciplining students, teachers provide students rules to follow. John Holt says, "Let's get rid of all the nonsense of grades, exams, marks" (Holt, 90). Why would we need grades? I believe teachers need to give grades for our work done to give students incentives. Shows teachers where they need improvement. We all have weaknesses to overcome. Teacher give students' assignments deadline date on when it's due, so teachers can follow their requirements and guidelines in our education system. Whoever thought we need rules to follow? If there were no rules, how are students supposed to follow procedures for their future work environment? So all teachers need to do is to enforce rules. Daniel H. Pink says, "Kids learned how to obey rules, follow orders, and respect authority - and the penalties that came with refusal" (93). Students don't follow rules, teacher will punish students. For instances, talking inside the classroom while the teacher is giving a presentation is being rude, disruptive, and disrespectful. Teacher set boundaries taking action in controlling their misbehaving students by giving them warnings with unsatisfactory mark "S" on their report card. Students need to remain quiet while the teacher is discussing major points in presentations. Teachers' will not tolerate a noisy classroom after the third warning given, and enforced the student to be dismissed from the classroom sent to the principal's office.

Besides discipline, teachers encourage parent participation in their children school activities. Nevertheless, I find a parents who are involved with their children's school activity eventually they will have good grades. Teachers will be pleased that parents who participated and involved with their children's homework and activities will increase students' motivation and self-esteem to become successful in school. This is why it's important for Parent's teacher conferences are scheduled, so parents can see their child progress. Students who don't turn in their homework assignments their grade will be lowered, they will not do well on their Exams teachers organized. Teachers have to know from students what was learned by giving exams they can monitor students' progression.

Moreover good teachers use visual aids like written information on chalk boards. It's important information that teachers may give examples, key points for students to prepare and remember what's on a test. A teacher who writes and draws design diagrams, arithmetic problem solving, statistics, or text information can easily show outline demonstrations on the board. Teachers who write a lot of text information using a chalk or marker can be very tiresome and waste time for covering a lot of information in one hour. Education has its benefits becoming more dynamic utilizing personal computers, laptops and slide projectors. Teachers can monitor their time to discuss each subject matter in 10-15 minute intervals when laptops or projectors are used. They can cover a lot of material in PowerPoint presentations, transparencies, and video conferences. Good teachers have great time management capabilities this teaching is easier for the students to comprehend material without falling behind. Slide projectors sometimes helps the teacher to show colorful information or pictures that can relate to what is discussed about. Sometimes handouts are given to students as a study guide. Teachers allow students to ask questions before moving on to another slide or given material as visual aids are given. Enhancing visual aids sometimes having video conferences can help students to see the material another way.

Need to develop a new topic sentences don't know if it's a good one---the bold print

However education has become more and more digitalized in a classroom environment replacing teachers by home learning experience sometimes referred to distant learning. Teachers today are being replaced by video conferencing by personal computers synchronizing information across the World Wide Web. Daniel H. Pink informs us from the Wall Street Journal that Home schooled children have higher grades than children attending schools. This article in Wall Street Journal explains children achieved at higher academic level education. Religion beliefs from families have importance inspired home schooled children.

Daniel H. Pink says, "According to The Wall Street Journal, Evidence is mounting that home-schooling, once confined top the political and religious fringe, has achieved results not only on par with public education, but in some ways surpassing it. Home-schooled children consistently score higher than traditional students on standardized achievement tests, placing on average in the 80th percentile in all subjects. In home schooling, kids opt out of traditional school to take control of their own education and to learn with help of parents, tutors, and peers" (95).

World Wide Web has become more visual aid enhancements from forums, blogs, e-books, and message boards. Assignments can be given by categorizing subjects in threads. Teacher's speech lectures can be uploaded in forums. Teachers can answer question with supported links that can be addressed to students for comprehend reading purposes. Teachers can organized E-books online can be access by students who can download text information, However teachers are moderators that have control how much information is viewed by students when they're ready for the next subject. They can proofread work easily with strikeouts and red ink text addressing correction to their students. Video conferencing can allow teachers virtually answer any questions students may have. Teachers and students have become more independent and interacting to enormous wide range of people with different cultural backgrounds and lifestyles.

In final consideration, good teachers have impacted students' lives for them to have a purpose in life. Seeking a career goal in college, students have prepared by good teachers to become responsible, disciplined, respect from the time we were born till we become young adults ourselves. Teachers shared humorous jokes to entertain students enhancing their learning experience. Good teachers give us handouts, slide show presentation from personal computers as visual aids tools utilized as study guide. The World Wide Web has taken over the classroom environment as home learning experience. In classroom environment, students have the social interaction with others students going to school everyday of the week. Now socializing has expanded through the World Wide Web interacting with all groups of people from blogs, forums and message boards. Education has become more and more dynamic for teacher's resources. Whoever thought teachers can now teach a student from the home, the learning experience has became more widely spread throughout all areas of the child's life.

Works Cited

Holt, John "School is Bad for Children" The Blair Reader. Eds.
Laurie G Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey,
2008. 86-91 Pearson/Prentice Hall

Pink, Daneil H. "Schools Out" The Blair Reader. Eds. Laurie G Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey, 2008. 91-102 Pearson/Prentice Hall
babydoll   
Mar 26, 2008
Writing Feedback / Definition of Education-Need filter words & eliminate repetition paragrap. [14]

I hope I gave enough information for your assistance here.

The main purpose I need improvement for this assignment in my Essay here. Need to answer the question and relate my experiences in this essay. Heres the assignment.

Essay #2: Definition

Your next essay is *question #2 page 132 of the Blair Reader: Write an essay in which you develop a definition of either a good teaching or a good education. If you choose the definition of good teaching, you might consider the relationship of the teacher to the class, the standards teacher should use to evaluate students, and what students should gain from their educational experience. If you choose to define what a good education is, you might look at what is necessary content of a good education. Perhaps an angle of analysis would be that a good education teaches you to think critically. Another might be that a good education cannot exist in the absence of the teaching of values and ethics. Make sure the essay is focused and fully develops the main idea. Back up your ideas with specific examples, personal experience, and authoritative quotes.

Be sure you refer to the ideas of John Holt (who had a more student- centered approach) and Daniel Pink (or Edmundson if you have the earlier edition). You might also include Plato's "myth of the Cave." However, you certainly may do more research on the issue and include other sources as well.

*You must also cite whatever essays you use according to MLA format shown in Rules for Writers for an anthology (a collection of essays).

You may consult the dictionary, but find your own definition. Do not make the definition the opening line. Try to think of several methods of developing the definition- using examples, comparison and contrast, analogy, cause and effect analysis. However, you may discover that one method alone - say, used of examples - will suffice to narrow and refine your definition.

*2. Many of the essays in this chapter discuss the role of education in society. In the process, they try to define exactly what constitutes a"good" education. Write an essay in which you define a good education. Explain your view with specific references to essays in this chapter by John Holt (p. 86) and Daniel Pink (p. 91) as well as with examples from your own experience.

I have written the Essay should I present one paragraph at a time here. I need improvement. I need to combine sentences and possibly words to described my points and not be too repetition at the same time. I already tried critiqueing it and move paragraphs. But feel that I need more help in shaping it up here. Ok, so another post I will post the Essay.

Can I used these journals in my essays? Don't know where?

4) In paragraph 13 Holt says, "Lets get rid of all the nonsense of grades, exams, marks."

Do you agree? What would be the advantages and disadvantages of this course of action?

No I disagree.

Advantages a teacher would give you both guidance and direction. School ground would be in a protective environment to share ideas between other students without any judgment. If the teacher shows you personally, visual aids this would help us better understand and comprehend the variety of subjects and material. All depends how the teacher presents the visual aids. Without homework assignments assigned to us, how would we gain experience in class.

Disadvantages no incentives, gangs would form, more disputes resulting in domestic violence. Students who don't care turn to substance abuse becoming addicts: drugs or alcohol. Gangs would stake their claim territory feeling they have power or control over another student.

There is no interaction with the teacher. Ratio assign to how many students, perhaps 30 students) is assign to one teacher has its benefits. There would be more quality time spent with one student assign to a teacher. The smaller the class size the more time spent will allow us to learn more.

How would any one student know how their progression in class? How would any student gain self-esteem without incentives?

Daniel H. Pink Pg 102 Responding in Writing
List three advantages and three disadvantages of home schooling, and then write a paragraph in which you argue for or against it.

Home schooling relies on students whom own a computer with internet services.

Advantages no restrictions in achieve your most favorite hobby, for instance, building Lego blocks. Focus more on your passion in life. Online internet distance learning you have access to resources from World Wide Web gain diversity allows students to interact with from cultural environments through forums and blogs. If it wasn't for World Wide Web access, busing (segregation) students from school to school would be diminished.

Disadvantages would be there's no personal feedback for progression. No incentives that can be given. However some websites gives you mentoring option or support. Not everyone owns a computer or have the financial capacity to gain internet support. Technical difficulties can occur without proper care such as maintenance, software updates, utilizing antivirus, and spyware applications. Sometimes user and passwords are lost in dogpile (cyberspace), so students spend too much time with technical support issues then learning. All users have different operating systems and physical DNA like older models compared to newer models. Home learning environment has less on-hands experience for the field your most passionate about. For instance, the classroom environment will already have computers set up for proper training, equipment, supplies with little or no fee.
babydoll   
Mar 23, 2008
Essays / Starting my cause and effect essay about women delaying having children [8]

I had a thought when I read your thesis. I tried shortening it a bit. I hope this helps.

Some women have priority accomplishing a career objectives and financial stability first, before settling down in a marriage with children.

Great start though.

I believe you could start out brainstorming with pros and cons!

One Pro would be getting the degree so woman can find their ideal job will allow them to become financial stability. Financial stability will find you happiness in life.

One Con in Marriage with children will slow you down in accomplishing your dreams. Majority of the time raising a family is a struggle. Without financial stability sometimes will add friction in a Marriage. Woman sometimes are not happy with their man because lacking financial stability. Man sometimes don't appreciate woman for providing them support like housechores is never 50% here and raising children is One example.

You don't have to agree with me here. Being a Single parent it's hard
babydoll   
Mar 23, 2008
Writing Feedback / "The Soldier's Duty" - Argumentive Photo Essay need help with more Ideas [6]

I guess in the second paragraph I could express the shadows of the building:

The background blurred brings out the clear crisp guy holding the gun at his dull olive green tanker. The poles, the dirt road, and ladder against the building in the background are faded appears to be black and white. The shadows show depth the buildings could be more than two story building. The enemy (sniper) could be hidden from higher level than the soldier aiming upward. His aiming the gun at his target from this photo directs the viewers looking upward in the photo.
babydoll   
Mar 23, 2008
Writing Feedback / "The Soldier's Duty" - Argumentive Photo Essay need help with more Ideas [6]

Did I answer all the questions from the requirements for this assignment I had posted?

The minimum word count for this Essay has to be at least 750 or more. I hope I'm not redundant or unclear here. My grammar is probably off, I don't know.

I thank you for feedback! How is this so far?

Title: The Soldier's Duty

War is when two sides disagrees forcing soldiers to be train and prepare themselves to perform the evil action call of duty based on higher authority decision. Higher authority gave power for soldiers holding the guns in their hands forcing them to diminish evil people. We all fight for what we believe in sometimes other countries don't see eye to eye. The higher authority places soldier in a difficult situation which they are forced to place their lives on the line. Soldiers must find the strength to perform such deadly task on call of duty risking their own lives. The photo illustrates the idea that both extremes of good and evil can exist in a single person.

First of all, the details of the photo demonstrate how two opposite's extremes can co-exist together. The background blurred brings out the clear crisp guy holding the gun at his dull olive green tanker. The poles, ladder against the building in the background are faded appears to be black and white. His aiming the gun at his target from this photo directs the viewers looking upward in the photo. On the tanker are two small colorful pictures that stand out. His loving wife and innocent baby show us he is a loved warm hearted person risking his life.

I think I should change this paragraph topic sentences that will clearly make him not as evil as he's not. I not too sure if this is a good one.

In addition, the man seems to be clearly evil at first on call of duty protecting his country. Holding the gun at his target is a difficult task that any soldier is faced to be brave he must perform his deadly task for protecting his country and family he is aiming at. Soldiers cannot hesitate for one second, because that will be a sign of weakness, eventually his life will be taken. He must be strong and find the strength to perform his deadly task. He can take someone else's life away very easily as he can bring life and joy into this world as the two colorful photos reminds him of his family. While he is placing his own life on the line for other people he supports, he can be remembered as honorable soldier. His life can be easily taken by enemies surrounding him in the cross fire. Sometimes we are force to become a person we don't wish too be in War. His tasks from higher authority lead him to carry the gun and show destruction. Military men as soldiers are trained to become warriors to protect our country from evil people. They are forced to take a position risking their own lives for the greater good eliminating other evil people who are in disagreement. This is very hard position to take because soldiers leaving their families behind can be very dramatic.

However, the photo details of his tank show that he is not completely evil. Having a child with his wife, he can bring life and joy. There's not one moment that passes by when his life can be taken in one split second. He lives to be the survival of the fittest let him live like it was his last day. His wife and baby waits for him to come home. He being a sole provider for his family makes him a good person. Families worry that their husbands' safety dress in military uniform, at war will not return home. Soldiers on the front line in the middle of cross fire their lives are at risk. Soldiers on a daily basis miss their love ones and pray to return to their families alive. This experience will be unforgettable and the last that he will ever face in his life time.

In conclusion, soldiers are our protectors, fighters, and nurturers placing their own lives at risk on call of duty. When two countries disagree and don't see eye to eye, soldiers are forced to perform an evil action from higher authority who gives them a task to eliminate evil people. The photo clearly shows a soldier performs his duty in action aiming at his target in eliminating the evil person. It's hard not to notice two small colorful photos on his tank show his wife and baby he is protecting and his country from evil people. Families who worry that their husbands dressed in military uniform safety are placed at risk in the crossfire on the frontline. Soldiers on a daily basis miss their love ones and pray to return to their families alive. This experience will be unforgettable and the last that he will ever face in his life time.
babydoll   
Mar 22, 2008
Writing Feedback / "The Soldier's Duty" - Argumentive Photo Essay need help with more Ideas [6]

Is there a way to include the photo here?
How can I explain argument against good and evil from a photo? I know I can express the action of the photo clearly.

i37.photobucket.com/albums/e80/One4uclass/Aim.jpg

Soldier in the military.
I can express the details of him taking a life away as he is risking his own life! I can also based the Essay on he is also good person raising a family who misses him dearly. He also can be protecting his family as his duties as soldier eliminating other evil people from distruction.

Essay: Analysis and Symbol

Assignment: Select a photo that is not an advertisement or a picture of a painting or drawing. Evaluate the underlying argument of the picture. Your thesis will be a statement of that argument. Consider how the interplay among the various elements of the photograph contributes to that argument. Every aspect of the photo should support your thesis. This is partly an exercise in seeing0 in close observation.

Be sure to look at the larger meaning of the photograph. Do not tell a story about what is happening in the picture. Look at what the elements of the picture might represent on a more symbolic or metaphoric level. Although some summary of the picture will be necessary, be sure that your essay is more analysis than summary.

You will want to choose your photograph carefully, keeping in mind that photographs with people involved in some sort of action usually work best. Advertisements and photographs of art are not acceptable. Avoid also cut children, kittens in a basket, couples looking longingly into each other's eyes, and so on. There's not much to say about these beyond the obvious. There are numerous books of photographic art in any library, and often university bookstores will have postcards which qualify as photographic art. Sometimes photographs from Life or Time magazines can work well.

Another option is for you to take your own photograph or develop some sort of college from other photographs. One student, for example, wanted a photograph that made a statement for gun control. She gathered a number of images from a variety of magazines. In her essay, she discussed what each image represented and how it contributed to the overall argument. You will not be graded on the quality of your artwork, however - only on the quality of your essay.

You must get my prior approval for your selection.

Once you have decided on a photograph, it might be helpful to list all of the details you notice. What details seem incongruous? What details seem obscured by other images? What details focus your analysis? How do these aspects of the photo contribute to meaning?

Photographic details may include (in addition to the subject):
- The direction from which the photograph is take (point of view)
- What may be blurred or in sharp relief (focus)
- The color scheme (black and white or color)
- The depth (what is close up and what is far away)
- The proportion (how it is balanced-which objects are large, which small)
- Shadows, composition, lines, focal point


I have a photo with a soldier man holding a gun pointing upward direction nearby his tanker. On his tanker are two colorful pictures that stand out, his wife and baby. I want to clarify an argument Essay Evil vs good.

I wanna be able to show the picture here however I don't know if it will let me, so you can see what I see from the photo my teacher OK. This is what I came up so far. I have at least a week to write this Essay. I hoping for more feedback here so I can avoid writers block as we speak. Any help will be appreciated here.

My thesis: The photo illustrates the idea that both extremes of good and evil can exist in a single person.

The details of the photo demonstrate how 2 opposite's extremes can co-exist together. The blurred background appears to be black and white which brings out the clear crisp guy holding the gun at his dull olive green tanker. His aiming the gun at his target from this photo directs the viewers looking upward in the photo. On the tanker are two colorful pictures that stand out. His loving wife and innocent baby shows us he is a loved warm hearted person risking his life.

The man seems to be clearly evil at first. Holding the gun at his target clearly states he is evil. On the other hand he can be protecting his love ones from vicious people who are evil themselves. He can take someone else's life away very easily as he can bring life and joy into this world. While he is placing his own life on the line for other people he supports, he can be remembered as honorable soldier. His life can be easily taken by enemies surrounding him in the cross fire.

However, the photo details of his tank show that he is not completely evil. Having a child with his wife, he can bring life. There's not one moment that passes by when his life can be taken in one split second. He lives to be the survival of the fittest let him live like it was his last day. His wife and baby waits for him to come home. Him being a sole provider for his family makes him a good person. He supports his country beliefs fighting for what he believes to be the right thing to do protecting our country from other evil people.

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