Writing Feedback / Total School Spending in the United Kingdom during three separate decades [3]

Hey Anabel.

Time distribution is very important. Firstly read up on the entire material given and then focus on your writing.
Once you have an idea on what to write, spend some time to make it sound more interesting. There should always be something that makes your essay stand out!

Even though you've summarized most of the information, it is very monotonous.

"For Example - The pie charts given above denote the variations in the expenditure pattern of a single school in the United Kingdom over the last 2 decades.

Most parameters have changed over this period.
The majority of the money is spent on teacher's salaries. It was 40% in 1981, which subsequently spiked to 50% in 1991 before finally reaching 45% in 2001. "

Use Synonyms where ever possible.
Good Luck :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1. Six pie charts about water usage worldwide [4]

Hi Mariana13!!

The way you write this essay depends on what it's for. I'm presuming it's a regular school/college essay.

The Pie chart given below shows the distribution of water for agricultural, industrial and domestic usage in six major regions of the world.

Firstly, looking at the developing areas such as South America, Africa, Central and South East Asia, it is evident that major potion of the available water ie. over 70-80% is utilized for agriculture. Water for industrial and domestic use is only a small fraction of the whole. This gives us an idea about the majority of the population is involved in agriculture for the livelihood.

The developed regions such as North America and Europe show a different picture. The total available water is more uniformly distributed for all the fields, with maximum utilization by Industries. This indirectly tells us that most of the population is involved in skilled labour.

This chart thus makes the comparison of developed and developing nations easier using a simple modality like water usage.
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Like Doel says above, you can add more content by stating the % of water utilized.

Writing Feedback / ..it's hard to live without it.. The advantages and disadvantages of the invented computer; [3]

Hello Samson!!

Making a few changes. Hope it helps!!
I would suggest Starting off the esay with the merits together and then later showing that despite these benefits, there are certain problems as well.

INTRO: Since the advent of the computer age, there has been a steady development in the standards of living. This has been attributed to an increased efficiency in work using computer technology.

Firstly, computers have an immense capacity to store data regarding various fields, acting as the ultimate database for knowledge. Further due to algorithm solving, heavy workloads are completed in a short span of time. Also, the user friendly nature of this technology has made life much easier. One of the few examples of this would be artificial Intelligence developed using computers, which are the basis for present day robots helping in a variety of industries

Now we talk about the demerits.

Yet, even with these immense benefits, certain demerits go hand in hand.
One of the biggest issues today with the development of computers and machines is that it leads to the elimination of a lot of jobs. Industrial equipments are slowly replacing the human workforce, simply because of increased efficiency, reduced time, and lower costs. This could lead to unemployment of many members of the middle and lower classes of the society.

To summarize, computers are an astonishing creation which has made life easier for the entire community, but vigilance is required with it's operation.

Writing Feedback / Article Summary: If You're Trying to Get Pregnant, Here's What You Need to Know about Stress [2]

Hey!!

I'm making just a few changes. Hope it helps.

In this technological era, humans have made the best out of everything. Advances in health care, better lifestyles and a safe environment are some of the many. Yet despite this, infertility continues to emerge as a new burden.

An alarming number of couples today are infertile, mostly attributing to hormonal and genetic disorders. But another major cause is rising levels of stress, probably a direct consequence of our new lifestyle. According to a new study published in the journal Annals ...

The respondents of this study were 400 [...] were during less stressful months.
This shows a link between the emotional state of a woman and fertility. While further studies are being conducted to find more pressing data, in the meanwhile, exercise, meditation and other simple methods can be adopted to reduce stress levels and help in conception.