Undergraduate / 'Parodying Musics' - Caltech: Describing an Unusual way in which you have fun [8]

What do you guys think about this one, do you think the admission officer will understand the joke in the last sentence? Or is it too controversial and risky?

Parodying Musics

One of the quirkiest and the most hilarious stunts I have ever done was parodying music with my friend. We turned the epic and powerful classical song "O Fortuna" into "O for tuna", a nonsensical piece that shows how much cats love tuna. We also changed one of the most influential rock song and the best hit single of the Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody" into "Bohemian Raspberry", a song that depict an epic story about a poor boy trying to taste the luxurious Raspberry. As for our master piece we made the famous and innocent Disney song "A Whole New World" into "A whole new Dick" (My friend's name is Richard), an adventurous song full of funny double entendre.

Undergraduate / My College Essay on Archery; All my hard works, for nothing? [9]

Hi guys can anyone please give me some feedback/criticism on my college essay? The harsher the criticism the better :)

This is the essay prompt
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

All my hard works, for nothing?

I was born in Taiwan, a very competitive country. So naturally I worked very hard to be the best. I ignored what other boys considered fun, television, video games, etc. All I did was study. By fifth grade I was already studying high school syllabus. However I was very happy because every time I brought back a certificate my mother would say:

"Hao Erzi" (Good boy in Chinese) and pat me on the head, while I put on my biggest smile.

These shaped my very competitive nature.

I remained very competitive even after moving to El Salvador. This competitive nature had made me lose sight of what is important, passion, until that fateful day:

The weather was perfect for tomorrow's Junior archery competition. I had worked hard for it and I was confident I could win this competition.

I did my usual warm ups. Then I took a deep breath and drew my bow. Everything was calm. It felt as if I was in my own world, the stresses of IB were miles away.

"Crack!"

I jerked forward as this ominous sound woke me up from my world. I looked down but I could already feel what had happened, my bow had broken. I had to forfeit tomorrow's tournament.

Disappointment overwhelmed me. My eyes watered as I slowly remembered all my hard works. The waking up at six o'clock in the vacation just to have a few extra hours to practice archery, the daily two hours practice that I kept even during raining seasons, and the back exercise that I did until the late nights. Then tears started to drop as the memories of the sacrifices I made slowly resurface. The refusals to after school parties just so I could practice in the Friday afternoon and the late night study sessions I had just so I could have an few extra hours to practice. What were all these for? Were all my hard works and sacrifices for nothing?

"żHijo, trabajaste por la competencia o por arquerĂ­a?" (Son, did you work hard for the competition or for archery?) Out of nowhere my coach asked.

I was enlightened; I realized I didn't work hard or make all these sacrifices for the competition. I worked hard because I love archery. Slowly I remembered the joy I had when I shot my first bull-eye, the excitement I had when I received my personal bow, the fun I had when I practiced with my friends, the anxiety I had when I attended my first tournament and the astonishment I had when I first saw the exorbitant price tag of my favorite bow.

This was an epiphany; I remembered the reason why I worked hard. It was something I had forgotten for a long time, it was my passion. I realized that I did not work hard just to be the best but rather for the things I love, for my passions. Slowly the tears in my eyes dried. I was smiling.