ashivash
Jan 3, 2017
Scholarship / "I have to go for it" - Letter of Self-Introduction KGSP - Masters Degree in Korea [3]
November 26th, 1993 -> Add a Comma
middle- class family
outstanding grades, I also -> Add a Comma
another social activities Consider replacing it with other
Third Paragraph ---> education, I volunteered--> Add a Comma
Fourth Paragraph --> the volunteering, I started --> Add a Comma
that consisted of measuring weight
Fifth Paragraph - the sentence is very long consider breaking into multiple sentences
My interestfor Korea --> Replace with in
self- learn
The KGSPreally inspired me to continue with my education and pursue a Masters Degree --> remove really and With redunant prepositions
my Masters Degree inKorea, I am ---> Replace Comma with ; --> my Masters Degree in Korea; I am
Try to replace Frequently used words such as big, nutrition and participating with some alternatives to make it look more attractive.
November 26th, 1993 -> Add a Comma
middle- class family
outstanding grades, I also -> Add a Comma
Third Paragraph ---> education, I volunteered--> Add a Comma
Fourth Paragraph --> the volunteering, I started --> Add a Comma
that consisted of measuring weight
Fifth Paragraph - the sentence is very long consider breaking into multiple sentences
My interest
self- learn
The KGSP
my Masters Degree inKorea, I am ---> Replace Comma with ; --> my Masters Degree in Korea; I am
Try to replace Frequently used words such as big, nutrition and participating with some alternatives to make it look more attractive.