linhlol1749
Jul 19, 2017
Writing Feedback / Practice IELTS Writing Task 2 - Benefit and Drawback of Computer Games [3]
-I think your introduction is quite confusing. At the first sentence, there should have a general sentence for computer games like" Nowadays,almost children seem to spend all of their time on computer games". After that, you write about two statements and you will express your opinion that you disagree or agree at the last sentence
-In condition, the topic sentence of paparagraph 2 is not good. You should write a sentencen which can embrace the whole content of that para.
-About the conclusion, "I agree that computer games influence both positive and negative impacts on children" INFLUENCE IMPACT ON SB/STH
-I think your introduction is quite confusing. At the first sentence, there should have a general sentence for computer games like" Nowadays,almost children seem to spend all of their time on computer games". After that, you write about two statements and you will express your opinion that you disagree or agree at the last sentence
-In condition, the topic sentence of paparagraph 2 is not good. You should write a sentencen which can embrace the whole content of that para.
-About the conclusion, "I agree that computer games influence both positive and negative impacts on children" INFLUENCE IMPACT ON SB/STH