Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Essay - The birth rate begin to fall and the population is aging [8]

Write about the following topic:
The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the population in most developed countries will be aged 65 and over.

What effects will these predictons have on developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation?

demographic situation in developed countries

Over the next 50 years, developed countries are forecasted to have some some problems such as fall of the birth rate. More than 30% of population of these countries are predicted will be elders with aged 65 and over.

First of all, this can be affected to social and economic aspects in the industrial countries. Due to decreasing of the population, the number the number of productive workers probably become limited. Furthermore, less workers be likely decreasing the tax incomes and increasing the tax outcomes of the countries. For example, the high amount of retired people make official to subside them in healthcare and other things. Thus, the minimum of birth rate probably is cause of several issues in developed countries.

However, some researchers already contribute to solve this case by offering some solutions, such as giving subsidy to family with new-baby-born. Government should provide the family with aid to healthcare for mother and child as well as food for the family. this solution are already used by a few of developed countries such as Australia, Canada, and Japan. In addition, Government should allow more immigrants to their countries, these people are expected to be productive labors in developed countries. Hence, subsidy for new-baby-born family and allowing more immigrants could help solve this issue.

To sum up the writings, decreasing of population, especially productive labors, decreasing the tax incomes and increasing the tax outcomes are the effects of fall of the birth rate. Several solutions that I mention above could probably help to tackle this problem.

Writing Feedback / TASK 1: Recycling Rate of Selected Materials: 1982-2010 [3]

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

recycling rate of four different materials

The given chart depicts the information of recycling rate of four materials in a country from 1982 until 2010, in percentage.

Overall, all the materials undergo rises from 1982 to 2010. Meanwhile paper & cardboard and glass containers change fluctuated, the proportion of cans and plastics always grow every year.

Recycling rate of paper & cardboard and glass containers increased 5% and 10% perspectively. In 1984, paper & cardboard rised around 5% then fell again in 1990 at the same number in the first year (65%). 3 years later, this material stood at highest level (80%) compared to other materials as well as its position in other years. At the end, it peaked at 70%. Glass container, on the other hand, started the position at 50%, in 1990 this material declined 10%, then increased into 60% in 2010.

on the one hand, aluminium cans and plastics climb until the last. Aluminium cans had huge percentage of increase, aroun 40%. Meanwhile plastics grew slowly every year, from 2% at first until 9% at last.

Please give me comments,feed backs, and band score if possible. :)

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