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Posts by dunn4 [Suspended]
Name: Benedict Anthony
Joined: Dec 6, 2017
Last Post: Dec 11, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: indonesia

Displayed posts: 4
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dunn4   
Dec 6, 2017
Scholarship / AIM SMALL, MISS SMALL - NTU SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY (MY VALUES AND BELIEFS) [4]

Hey everyone! NTU admission deadline is coming up and i need your help in reviewing the scholarship essay that i made. All comments and critics are gladly accepted. Thanks for all the help in advance!

always aim for the best



There are many things that I regret doing in the past, but there are many more that I regret not doing.
Some years ago, I used to be what people would refer to as "average". My grades were acceptable, though I had no special talents that I could be proud of. Since young, I had always been a fast learner. Had I put in more effort and hard work to strive to become the best in class, I could have. Unfortunately the past-me thought otherwise. I only used that gift merely to reduce the amount of time I had to spend learning.

When my parents urged me to apply to a prestigious high school, I was more than reluctant to do so. Not only were my existing friends applying for a different, more expensive school, but also it would mean that I have to study harder to keep up my grades, as the school to which I was applying was protuberant for having paramount standards for grades.

Not really expecting any outcome, I studied, took the exam, and to my surprise, I passed the selection. That experience had a tremendous impact on my life. I learnt that nothing is truly impossible, and I will not know the outcome before I try. Now, not only do I perform better academically, I also learnt to organize things based on their importance in addition to giving every challenge my all.

"Aim small, miss small" is a saying in which I strongly believe. It has inspired me to always aim for the best and hence I am certain that I am well suited to face the challenges that NTU will offer me. I am confident that the values I possess is a great asset to be had by NTU.
dunn4   
Dec 7, 2017
Graduate / LSE Msc Finance essay-I want to make an impact in the financial industry [4]

In general i think it's a well written essay. Here are some edits you might want to consider :
"... internships in a big four company four big companies ..."
"It was the first tryout [...] loans should be reversed." i think you should rephrase these sentences as i feel there are better word choices to be used.

"Additionally, I completed R and Java ..." you should emphasise more on how these coding skills may help you in your selected programme.

That's all i could find for now. I wish you good luck in your essay!
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