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Posts by shereenzalloum
Name: Shereen Zalloum
Joined: Dec 15, 2017
Last Post: Dec 16, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Palestina
School: Palestine Polytecnic Univeristy

Displayed posts: 3
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shereenzalloum   
Dec 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / Which is better for a country? A few people earning high salary or government limiting? [NEW]

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think this is good for the country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

My essay:

Unequal Societies: Income Distribution



In many different countries around the world, The amount of individuals earning extremely high salaries is very little and their are people who believe this is good for the country, other people think that the government should limit the income received by those individuals. This essay will discuss why having few people earn high salaries will benefit society but why having the government intervene will ultimately help the the country.

First, receiving high salaries will give credit to those who work extra hard. Additionally, it will motivate them to produce more and excel in their work area. This will help the economy by creating more jobs and increasing the amount of transactions that happen in a country which will help the GDP of that country to rise. Furthermore, children will be motivated to do better in school because they will try to imitate those hard working people who receive high salaries.

On the other hand, the second group of people who believe that the government should limit the salaries earned believe this for many different reasons. First, this will help to reduce the gap between the rich and the poor which will help to reduce the crime rate in that country. Second, Poverty will decrease because the poor will have a source of income. Third, The needy will have a chance to get an education which will help them get a job and this will have a positive effect on the country because it will have more productive citizens.

To conclude, whether the government should intervene in distributing salaries is a highly controversial issue. Some people believe he should while others including me believe he should because this will help the country.
shereenzalloum   
Dec 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / University is the better route than school to reach successful career [3]

I have found some grammatical issues throughout your essay. For instance, are effective wayS
particular areas: Physicians is not an area, maybe you meant physics?
The first whole paragraph didn't make sense to me.

please check mine: UNEQUAL SOCIETIES: INCOME DISTRIBUTION
shereenzalloum   
Dec 16, 2017
Writing Feedback / Urban areas have more crimes. Direct question essay. [7]

The number of people who commit crimes in the cities are significantly larger than in the country side.

"Further, surveillance ..." Furthermore,*

Even if they were determined to do so.

"his systematic design would operate ..." This statement doesn't make sense because 24 hours is day and night together

"In which some people faced ...[b]" I didn't really understand this statement.
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