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Posts by congviec18
Name: Mien
Joined: Jan 11, 2018
Last Post: Jan 12, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Viet Nam
School: Apple School

Displayed posts: 4
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congviec18   
Jan 11, 2018
Writing Feedback / Essay about the role of parents and school in children education. [3]

key factors which affects children's development



Children education seems to be a concerning subject of all time but there is a controversial question of whether parents or schools must shoulder the ultimate responsibility for teaching kids to become good citizens. This essay will discuss both sides of the subject.

Many people may claim that parents are the main childcarers- the ones who a child lives under the same roof with, so they have a closeknit relationship with the kid. Parents are well aware of their child's strengths and weaknesses so that they might have appropriate adjusts to wrong deeds by them. This may create a good environment for the child to develop their mental as well as physical qualities, which, in turn, will become a firm foundation for their growth becoming good adults. On the contrary, other people believe that children go to school to study as well as learn to be well-behaved. Since their parents are too busy making money, kids spend most of their time at school with their teachers and friends who might have great influence on their behaviours. It is said that "like teacher, like student" so whether kids grow up to be good members or not depends much on their teachers' support and care at school. Also, school is like a small society where children meet and have contacts with other children having different personalities, coming from different family background. They make friends with each other and this has impact on their behaviour as well. Therefore, it is clear that schools play a key role in educating children.

To conclude, both parents and school are key factors which affects children's development. I express the opinion that the two sides share equal responsibility for bringing up kids to become good members of society.
congviec18   
Jan 11, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: Celebrities must have wonderful lives. [3]

Hi there
I feel that the subject in this sentence is not clear "despite the fact that they (celebrities) are earning ..."

And I think the veb in this sentence should be "are" not "is" celebrities is living a miserable life.
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