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Posts by minhthu [Suspended]
Name: Lê Minh Thư
Joined: Jul 19, 2018
Last Post: Jul 22, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Việt Nam
School: TranDai Nghia High School

Displayed posts: 4
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minhthu   
Jul 20, 2018
Writing Feedback / Writing task 1: Bird migration observed in Woodchuck Country [5]

Dear everyone, I hope you guys can spend a little time reading and checking my IELTS writing task 1. Thank you very much.

birds species in the Woodchuck Country



Topic:
The chart below shows information about different species of birds observed in Woodchuck Country at different times of the year.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main information and making comparisons.


The supplied table provides data about eight different kinds of birds that are conducted by presences in Woodchuck Country during winter and summer season.

As is observed, there are three species of birds in the partial list consist of cardinals, crows and woodpeckers which are not migratory birds. They inhabit in Woodchuck Country in both winter and summer whereas another types of birds are always movement during the year.

It can be clearly seen that the observation finds some different points. The most form of bird migration such as bluebirds, mockingbirds, orioles and vireos regularly take place in the cold season. It is a reason they are just observed in the summer. Whilst, contrary to the species mentioned above, only one particular type of bird which is known as juncos migrate in the warm weather of summer times and then they choose the cold season to stay in Woodchuck Country.

In general, despite the same species, birds have different migratory times during a year. Most of them prefer to migrate in the winter while only one of in total stayed in Woodchuck at the same season.



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minhthu   
Jul 22, 2018
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, there are some countries where the number of young adults is larger than elderly people [3]

First of all, this essay seems to be too long. If it is the IELTS writing task 2, you must ensure that you write it in 40 minutes with the appropriate number of words.

Secondly, there has been some errors of your writing such as:

1. ... is larger than that of older people.
2. And about these countries...
3. others who believe that they will ... (it repeats words of a previous sentence) -> others who have the contrast opinion.
4. ... the physical respect that they can contribute ... labor which while older people ...

In addition, you can use synonyms of "advantage" and "disadvantage". Avoiding using these words a lot of times in the essay.
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