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Posts by elanners
Joined: Sep 18, 2009
Last Post: Sep 20, 2009
Threads: 2
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Displayed posts: 7
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elanners   
Sep 18, 2009
Undergraduate / "My future college experience" - on Application to UF [4]

"In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service. "

Anddd enjoy the essay below *note, << not part of the essay =]*


Each person has some quirk that makes them completely unique. These discrepancies aren't always noticeable, but sometimes they are blatantly expressed; like the guitar player who sticks a piece of tape on his guitar and writes in black Sharpie: "This machine kills Fascists." I never really knew what made me so different until last spring, when I was accepted to the 2009 Sailing Outward Bound Program. At first, I thought it would be fun, and easy. I don't believe any of the chosen participants thought it would be a difficult or challenging experience. Within the first two days, we were all clearly proven wrong. Six students and two young adults on a thirty foot sail boat for eight days; I learned to rely on my intelligence, resourcefulness, and organizational skills to survive traveling sixty miles on the Atlantic. My knowledge of sailing was minimal at best, but by day four I was capable of doing what a year of sailing would have taught me. I discovered how to work together with my group to surpass any obstacles; whether it was trying to free the boat from being wedged in shallow waters, or brainstorming about the possible ways to transport an injured shipmate back on the boat (in the end, the 'victim' was floated over on a raft constructed of oars and lifejackets). Not only was the trip a physical challenge, it provided profound concepts and enlightenment. Each night, our boat would raft with the other convoy, and we ate and had discussions together. The instructors would ask us questions that really brought out each individual's personality and opinions. Before this venture, I never realized how much people respected and highly valued my ideas and leadership. Fellow shipmates and instructors both eagerly listened to my thoughts, and came to me for advice. During the last two days of our "Final", in which the instructors stepped back and the students were responsible for making the journey home, I was elected Captain. The Captain was in charge of organizing roles, and overseeing most aspects of the plan to return. I believe that my experience facing the unknowns on the ocean is similar to how my experience in university will be. I want to establish the same bonds of fellowship and cooperate with others to use available resources and develop my skills. I can use the determination and optimism I had to succeed in Outward Bound at UF, and be as much a part of the student community as possible. I'd like to further investigate my leadership abilities and earn the right to be admired and liked on campus. Though it will involve more responsibility, time, and independent thinking than a trip across the sea, I am prepared to ensure that my college experience embraces and overcomes every difficulty I come across on my journey.
elanners   
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / UCF Undergrad Essay on obstacle--how is my essay? [30]

I enjoy the way describe your experience, it's a lot more interesting than when people list facts. The way you show your exasperation and flow from your intro is very good.

It is a rather cliche topic, but if you think about it people are all very similar and go through the same problems. Think about a personal obstacle you've faced, it will most likely be a lot more unique.
elanners   
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / " The impact my parent's divorce" - UCF- hopefully original [5]

Just going to be one of the xxxxxx amount of other people who post their UCF essay about a personal or academic obstacle they've encountered. But I love the constructive criticism, thanks people! =]

The impact my parent's divorce has had on my life is extenuating, due to the fact that my parents live in separate countries. In a way, it's been to my best advantage to experience living in two different places. I have learned to adapt and grow in opposite environments, and discovered how to be flexible when starting something new. Each place in the world has something unique to offer to the human experience, whether it is beautiful landscapes or friendly inhabitants. My history of moving back and forth between households has taught me to appreciate and accept every opportunity that is presented. I loved living in Canada and growing up with a very supportive family. There was snow, and sharp, biting cold, but I never regretted being there. I started my first two years of high school not knowing a single person, but by the end I had many friends. It seems so simple to move to a new place, to orient yourself with a new culture and surroundings. In truth, it is no easy thing at all, but because I have the chance to try it, I know I can be successful in any place I choose to make my home. The transition of moving back to Florida was more difficult than it had been starting anew in Canada, but my experience allowed me to adjust and find things to like about the Sunshine State. I know I will have very little problems adapting to college life, and I would love to have the chance to make UCF a third home.
elanners   
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / UCF Undergrad Essay on obstacle--how is my essay? [30]

If you've gone through a similar experience of divorce maybe you can write about that too? I can always list suggestions about how it's changed things for me, if that would help you out at all.
elanners   
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / UCF Undergrad Essay on obstacle--how is my essay? [30]

That's funny, my parents were also divorced when I was 2. It hasn't really been that much of an impact for me either, except for the moving, but it's all in how you look at it. The admissions officers aren't going to know anything about if it really affects you or not.

And no problem =]
elanners   
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / " The impact my parent's divorce" - UCF- hopefully original [5]

thanks for the feedback! I rewrote it and tried to show my feelings a little more, please tell me if it is any better. (also, i find florida is an extremely hard place to adapt to, i'm glad you were able to get used to it too =])
elanners   
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / UCF Undergrad Essay on obstacle--how is my essay? [30]

Llamapoop123 [Contributor] Edited by: Llamapoop123 Today, 05:42pm #12
elanners:
The admissions officers aren't going to know anything about if it really affects you or not.
And no problem =]
^Well...if you're a good lier. It kind of sounds crude to exaggerate or lie about the implications of divorce.

uhhh I didn't mean to lie or joke about divorce. I only meant that you can exaggerate how it affected you. In my instance, I'm glad my parents are divorced b/c they are happier that way. So instead I wrote about the lack of stability.

Also, I'm assuming that you play piano, so maybe you had to overcome a musical obstacle? When I played piano I had a hard time converting from Conservancy style to playing by ear. Maybe you have something like that?
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