Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Geo73
Name: George
Joined: Nov 10, 2018
Last Post: Nov 11, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  
From: QuĂȘnia
School: AHS

Displayed posts: 6
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Geo73   
Nov 10, 2018
Writing Feedback / Giving money to street beggars is a right thing to do or not ? State your opinion [2]

The essay should be longer to be more convincing and there a couple of grammatical errors you should correct. Here they are:

In the following recent year,......should be....In recent years....

now a day ... should be.... nowadays

daily small necessary needs....should be..... small daily necessary needs.

You should formulate a plan for essay then think it through. After writing re-read it and I'm sure you will come up with a splendid piece.
Geo73   
Nov 10, 2018
Writing Feedback / A reflection essay - Making Media and Contemporary Approaches courses [2]

Generally the essay is well written but there are a couple of errors you could correct.
1. I now acknowledge how to write an academic essay using the 5-part outline, and how to cite and reference the sources applying.....this sentence has a problem. Replace the world acknowledge with know

2. Harvard style citing......Harvard citation style
3. remove up-to
4. is better said as//by making a whole short film from scratch
5. to function the technical device ... rephrase this to use the camera perhaps

6. as we all footage
7. to rewind what did to reflect about what we learned
8. to represents a real life
9. as we are Communication and Media student---on the process of being a Comm..
10. reflection paper ... reflection rephrase this..you cannot use reflection twice

Hope this helps
Geo73   
Nov 10, 2018
Scholarship / The need to develop the energy infrastructure in Kenya through clean and renewable sources [3]

COMMONWEALTH SCHOLARSHIP- IMPACT OF DEVELOPMENT ESSAY



Guys I need help to review my essay for the commonwealth scholarship.

Here is the Essay;

Electrical energy is essential for the economic development of any nation yet in Sub-Saharan Africa, 600 million people live without electricity. In Kenya, only about 35% of Kenyans have access to the country's electrical grid. The Government has realized that this problem cannot be solved with the traditional approach of connecting all people to the electrical grid due to challenges such as poor coordination, lack of data for planning, and high capital costs. Thus, in partnership with various organizations, mini-grids are being set up in various parts of the country.

The need to develop the energy infrastructure in Kenya through clean and renewable sources is what has motivated me to study the MSc. in Renewable Energy Systems Technology. My main motivation is that this programme addresses the fundamentals of renewable energy and shows how solar and wind energy sources can be efficiently integrated into practical power systems. Moreover, this course lays emphasis on the efficient generation of electricity from solar and wind power, as well as integrating renewable generators into mini-grids with active power management. This course certainly dovetails very well with the CSC them of science and technology for development which aims at facilitating technological and scientific paradigms that have proven to underpin economic advances, improvements in health systems and infrastructure.

When I am through with the course, I intend to come back to Kenya and offer my skills in any capacity to make electricity available to the poorest members of our society. This will be done through a three-fold approach. First, I will be lecturing at the Department of Electrical and Electronic Engineering, JKUAT. In this context, dissemination of knowledge to the budding engineers that highlights the great potential of renewable energy sources will certainly play a role in solving Kenya's energy problems.

Secondly, I will be able to take an active role in the implementation of the Memorandum of Understanding signed between the British and Kenyan Governments in 2016. This saw the UK commit £500 million to support the development of strategic renewable energy projects in Kenya. This has seen DFID facilitate the establishment of developers such as Powerhive, Powergen and RVE.Sol, that are expected to deliver 15,000 power connections in Western Kenya.

Thirdly, I will offer my skills to startups in the field of renewable energy. One such example is the Energy for Development Network championed by University of Southampton's Sustainable Energy Research Group (SERG). This project has already created a step-change in collaborative research through the installation of solar-powered energy in three Kenyan villages. Electrical power was delivered to a village of 3000 residents in Kitonyoni, approximately 150 kilometers from Nairobi, through a solar photovoltaic system. This project was so successful that the team, in collaboration with the Kenyan Government, is now hoping to deliver this type of benefit to around 60 villages in Kenya over the next decade.

By becoming a Commonwealth Scholarship awardee, I will certainly be able to play a vital role in accelerating energy access to my fellow citizens.
Geo73   
Nov 10, 2018
Scholarship / Enhance and increase Australia's influence in Education and Health-Endeavour [4]

Well written. Some things to llok at
1. at both national and provincial level...use of both is repetitive
2. In this way our ... there should be a comma after way
3. for prospectus research.. what is the meaning of prospectus...
4. should be using Australian standards

Hope this helps
Geo73   
Nov 10, 2018
Scholarship / Self-introduction essay to get a graduate scholarship in Korea [6]

Well done just a couple of mistakes.
1. have has taught
2. I have beeninvolved
3. Due to my great interest in research
4 my passionate about ... better....has intensified my passion to study in South Korea...
5 Korea is much more advanced
6 best universities
7 so I contacted him
8. I will try my best to
9. Due to the passion for ... may be ... for research, I will work zealously to ensure I accomplish what I have set out to do according to schedule

Hope this helps you. I hope you get the scholarship and accomplish your dream.
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