Undergraduate / 'learning my whole life' - Cornell CAS essay [2]

Exposed to Cornell at a young age, the campus seemed like a place anything could happen.

"You" were exposed to Cornell at a young age, not the campus.

Undergraduate / Interest in Math and Science - California Institute of Technology [8]

It feels as if this essay is more focused on Sam, not you.
I mean, the whole point of writing this essay is to showcase something unique about yourself that does not appear on the Common App, and from this essay readers get to know a lot about Sam but not enough about you.

And when you wrote "In a math project, he helped us resolve real-life problems we made up"
maybe you should elaborate on that, because Caltech, as the questoin reads, wants to know how much you love and are willing to learn math/science.

Just my amateur opinion, good luck with your application.

Undergraduate / "no sense of diversity" - My Rutgers Essay [5]

"Though Rutgers may not need me"

I don't know if I like this opening sentence. You are trying to convince the admission officers that you have what it takes to make the Rutgers community even better, but this sentence does the opposite.

Sure, you explain in the remaining of the essay that you are the type of person they are looking for, but I don't think it is worth mentioning that they don't need you.

I mean, everyone who applies needs Rutgers, but the admission officers only pick the ones they like to see on their own campus. Do you see where I am getting at??

Undergraduate / Conduct Explaination- UF [4]

People make mistakes, especially during hard times.
You are a different person now and that's all the admission officers are looking for, I think.
If possible, set up an interview and explain to them thoroughly face-to-face. I'm sure they would like to actually hear from you.

Disciplinary charge:
I have been suspended from Charles E. Gorton High School, in Yonkers, New York. I was to be admitted St. Vincent's Westchester Hopsital outpatient day rehabilitation for 6 days until it was agreed that my problem wasn't serious enough for me to miss school."

just a minor grammar mistake.

good luck with your application!

Undergraduate / UC Prompt 2 : Simply saying "No." [3]

Hey, nice essay.

You must have some kind of determination, not drinking nor smoking with 4 years of partying under your belt xD

Undergraduate / Interest in Math and Science - California Institute of Technology [8]

well, now that I know Sam means Science and MAth, the whole essay makes sense.
But if the admission officers read this essay for the first time, they will have no idea until the last paragraph, and they might have to reread your essay.