Writing Feedback / IELTS Writng task 1: why UK adults attend arts events [4]

I will be commenting your first paragraph in detail and provide a brief comment for your second and third so you can try to work on them yourself. Please let me know if you have any questions.

The table given given table illustrates the finding of from a study ... until present a study for the past 20 years which helps to explains why to explain the reasons UK adults participate in arts art events.

Better: The table shows reasons for people in the UK attending art events through four categories during the past 20 years.

It is clear from the information provided provided information that the most popular reason among these is the enthusiasm to see celebrities' appearance a specific performer or artist.

Better: Though it is good to point out the obvious, it is better to just list out the categories. After all, your purpose is to describe the table: "These reasons include the desire to see a specific performer or artist, accompanying children, special occasion or celebration, and work or business."

In your second and third paragraphs, you did OK by describing each category in detail. However, your description is unnecessarily wordy, which makes your essay exceed 150 words. You can shorten it up by just a simple description such as: "Majority of adult participating in the events are due to the desire to see a specific performers or artist. These percentages have not changed much for the past 20 years, which were around 55% to 58%."

There are also a few misspelling words such as attended, surprisingly, respondents, dramatically, business.

Good luck.

Writing Feedback / Language students - IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - TWO PIE CHARTS COMPARISON [3]

Hello roswita116. If I may, I would like to provide some comments and an example for your essay.

Your essay is good. However, you are being unfair to other languages by emphasizing non-proportionally on Spanish while cramping the rest in only a couple sentences.

The objective of your writing should be as required: selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should take a minute or two to study the charts and pick out the obvious.

To me, I noticed the following:
1.Number of students who know only English decreases to half (20% to 10%)
2.Number of students studying another language increases up to 33% (French, Spanish, and any other)
3.Most students favor Spanish (35%). French stands second (20%) but rises faster
4.Number of students who learn a third language increases 50% (10% to 15%)

You can start your essay by rephrasing the topic, such as:

"Both charts show the percentage of British students who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010."

Hope this helps.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Procedures of Recruitment Flow Chart [4]

Hello roswita116,

May I suggest you look at the big picture and divide the process into major tasks. From the chart, I can see three major tasks:

1.Preparing the requirements and accepting applications
2.Preliminary selection (first round)
3.Interviewing and selecting the most qualified applicant (second/final round)

You could start with, "The flow chart illustrates a company's recruitment process. The process can be divided into three major tasks, which are preparing the requirements and accepting applications, preliminary selection, and interviewing and selecting the most qualified applicant."

Next, you can expand the sub tasks for each of the three major tasks.

Finally, you can conclude by stating that the company will send the offer letter to the successful candidate.