Posts by santrinabawi

santrinabawi

Dec 11, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1 : Percentage of three known Fast Food Restaurants in two Asian countries [2]

McDonald's, KFC and Burger King in Indonesia and Vietnam

The proportion of 3 popular fast food restaurants between young people in Vietnam and Indonesia in 2017 and predictions for 2027 is described in the pie charts.

Overall, the ratio of teenagers sellected McDonald's and KFC in Indonesia was higher than that of those in Vietnam. On the other hand, Vietnam is predicted to overcome Indonesia in eating McDonald's and Burger King.

In 2017, the proportion of Indonesian comsuming McDonald's and KFC was bigger than Vietnam's society, 60.8% and 23.8% respectively. But, the latter preferred Burger King more than the former.

By 2027, apart from the previous comparison, Indonesian is predicted to decrease eating fast food in McDonald's and Burger King by 12.3% and 3.1% respectively. However, KFC will show moderately growth to 39.2%. In contrast, people in Vietnam are envisioned to increase their consumption of McDonald's and KFC around 57.4% and 6.3%. But, they predicted will reduce significant consuming of Burger King by 37.4%.

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santrinabawi

Dec 12, 2019

Writing Feedback / User Engagement for Social Networking Sites [3]

It is good introduction you try to paraphrase the question, but when you remove some words, that caused different meaning.

The question said that the pie chart displays their market share, but you did not write market share is described in pie chart.

I hope this small correction is useful for you to become more be careful when you write next essay.

santrinabawi

Dec 12, 2019

Writing Feedback / In the chart the percentage of people using multiple social networking sites; Ielts 2 [4]

Let me give some correction for you:

1. You did not upload question image completely, so we as reader do not know there is country Canada in question.

2. You did not write period punctuation (.) in the end of your overview.

santrinabawi

Dec 15, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1 : Solar Energy for Water Heating and Panels Location [4]

solar powered heating system

The diagram presents process of solar energy water heating system and location options to put solar panels.

Overall, the heating system begin to run by turning on the controller until when water fall to water tank, it ready to use. On the other hand, there are two options where to put solar panels.

Firstly, trun on the controller. Cold water that enter the water tank will be pumped with thermal fluid to solar panels that is used to collect solar energy. The water that pass the panels will be heated and fall to heating coil inside water tank. Hot water ready to use with open the taps or showers.

Secondly, ideal position to put solar panels is angle to sun 90°, south facing, and should not be obstructed by trees. By put solar panels on the land, they are not only easy to cleaning and maintenance, but they are also easy to obstruct. In contrast, by put solar panels above the roof, they show the reverse.

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