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Posts by thanhthanh96
Name: Lam My Thanh
Joined: Feb 4, 2020
Last Post: Feb 21, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam
School: Ho Chi Minh City University of Education

Displayed posts: 3
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thanhthanh96   
Feb 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. Give reasons and solutions [4]

Hello everyone, I'm a newbie here. I'm practising how to write an IELTS essay properly. Could you please help me by giving me constructive feedbacks on my works? Much appriciated for your kindness.

soda addicts



There has been a substantial increase in the number of carbonated beverages consumed by individuals This essay will focus on examining likely explanations of this trend and necessary measures against the soft drink addiction.

It is worth mentioning that vigorous commercial promotion has led to the large expenditure on non-alcoholic drinks. To clarify it, celebrity endorsement in advertising is regarded as an effective marketing strategy that helps skyrocket sales. For instance, Virat Kohli's followers probably spend money on energy-boosting products after watching he playing a role as a brand ambassador in videos. Additionally, another obvious reason is that customers tend to choose sodas for the sake of convenience in the prospect of the hectic schedule of modern life. It takes clients only few minutes to purchase their favorite sugary drinks from supermarkets, stores or vending machines. Moreover, children undoubtedly are loyal fans of sugar-loaded beverages due to its nice taste. With the addition of sugar or other sweeteners, liquid refreshment beverages proves irresistible, so people keep guzzling sodas continuously.

It is highly recommended that appropriate measures should be implemented to reduce the risks resulted from this burning issue. Firstly, opting for healthier alternatives surely helps lower sugar intake. Secondly, the government should impose strict restrictions on adverts about sugar-riched drinks by issuing a health warning associated with inappropriate advertising slots along with levying high tariffs on these undesirable goods, Lat but not least, conducting numerous public education campaigns not only raises citizens' awareness, but also greatly improves lives of others.

To recapitulate, the unpleasant fact of soda addicts has hightened a deep concern for the public health. It is hoped that immediate course of action will be taken to lessen the matter.
thanhthanh96   
Feb 6, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE OPINION [2]

Hello everyone, I would like to express my gratitude towards nice friends giving me helpful comments on my first IELTS essay posted on this forum. Could you please spare a few minutes and give me feedbacks on my second work? Sincere thanks for your assistance

Task 2: Is the mental strength important for success in sports or is it important to have strong and fit people in sports. Discuss both views and give opinions.

Various views are held on the issue of what type of factor is critical to triumphs in sport events. While some people may point out that athletes who are mentally tough will be champions, critics contend that lusty competitors are more likely to achieve stunning victories than the rest. Nevertheless, I am convinced that contestants having mental stamina can overcome stumbling blocks in competitive games. In this essay, both perspectives are under discussion as following.

Apparently, having a strong constitution plays a vital role in the athletes' career advancement. They are required to attend training courses regularly in order to be in good physical condition. As a result, players are capable of competing against rivals who are at the same level as them. It is therefore agreed that contestants' well-being is the first priority. If they don't have enough energy, they will definitely feel exhausted during the games and end up as losers. Cristiano Ronaldo is a typical example. Thanks to his strict workout plan, he is at the peak of fitness and in magnificent shape. At the age of 35, he is regarded as the most skillful football player due to impressive records as well as his lustiness.

Voices from the other side could also be heard against this matter claiming that athletes' mental power contributes enormously to the final outcome. Without demand management ability, consistency, motivation, focus, strong self-belief and control under pressure, players could hardly outperform their challengers. Besides, I firmly believe that the cultivation process of mental energy benefits them from overcoming their weakness and gaining a victory over themselves. To illustrate, during Roger Federer's first period of playing tennis, he unfortunately suffered the loss of success in the first round of Wimbledon. After consecutive years of accumulating experience, he has amazingly won eight Wimbledon men's single titles and gained several prizes. It is obvious that his absolute determination has made him one of the most inspiring tennis players of all time.

In a nutshell, some people are of the opinion that powerful contestants are unbeatable easily, whilst others are against such a view and credit the significant influence of a positive mindset. Personally, I support the latter stance since players with strong passion will doubtlessly seize the initiative in the crucial matches and tournaments and win the games.
thanhthanh96   
Feb 21, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay task 2 Success in life depends on hard work and determination [5]

Synonyms suggested for your academic essay:
Success = achievement, accomplishment, favorable outcome, triumph, victory,...
Hard work = endeavor, diligence, great effort,...
Determination = persistence, single-mindedness, dedication,...
Money = monetary benefits, wealth, richness,...
Personal appearance = gorgeous beauty, good-looking (adj), attractive (adj),..
Important = vital, crucial, essential,...
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