Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by khanhhuyen2447
Name: Nguyễn Khánh Huyền
Joined: Apr 4, 2020
Last Post: Apr 5, 2020
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam
School: Cua Lo Highschool

Displayed posts: 2
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khanhhuyen2447   
Apr 5, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts essay task 2 regarding who determines children's academic success [3]

Classmates have a greater influence on a child's success at school. Do you agree or disagree?

Questions surrounding who determines children's success at school have been ongoing for several years. While some assert that academic success is influenced by fellow students, others assume that parents have a more significant impact on their offsprings' results. From my perspective, classmates play a more imperative role in youngsters' scholastic achievements.

First and foremost, children spend much more time with their peers than with parents. Everyday, kids spend at least 8 hours studying on campus, thus they have a lot of chances to meet and interact with their fellow students. Besides, technological advances like the Internet and smartphone enable kids to contact with friends even when they are at home. In contrast, children meet their parents only at meal time and do not enjoying talking to them regarding their parents as conservative and out-dated. Consequently, children are much more intimate to their classmates than their parents. The intimacy between them is children's the prime source of mental assiatance, which contribute substantially to a successful academic life.

Secondly, school environment can create fierce competition among students. Children compete with peers through tests, examinations as well as groupwork and extracurricular activities. Not only do youngsters compete with peers to get good results but also compete to gain popularity to teachers and other mates. This competition gradually creates interest and enthusiasm, motivates students to work harder, define themselves and exceed their normal limits. Every child wants to stand out, to be ahead of its fellow student, to be the best. Classmate will be the ones determining the mental aspect of children and keep children invariably motivated in their journey to academic success

The mental assistance from peers is necessary for children. Therefore, although the critical role of parents in controlling kids cannot be ignored, in my opinion, the impact of classmates in most cases are more than expectations.
khanhhuyen2447   
Apr 5, 2020
Writing Feedback / People's opinions differ as to whether homework is necessary to educate children or not [3]

@leminhvu1992
I think you have misunderstood the requirement of this essay. It requires you to discuss both views, not to give your opinion on homework. Your thesis statement is wrong.

You also used the subject 'I' in the second paragraph, which is wrong.
You dis show your opinion, but in an improper way. You should have included 1 more paragraph to show that
Your closing paragraph is too short
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