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Ielts essay task 2 regarding who determines children's academic success


khanhhuyen2447 1 / 1  
Apr 5, 2020   #1
Classmates have a greater influence on a child's success at school. Do you agree or disagree?

Questions surrounding who determines children's success at school have been ongoing for several years. While some assert that academic success is influenced by fellow students, others assume that parents have a more significant impact on their offsprings' results. From my perspective, classmates play a more imperative role in youngsters' scholastic achievements.

First and foremost, children spend much more time with their peers than with parents. Everyday, kids spend at least 8 hours studying on campus, thus they have a lot of chances to meet and interact with their fellow students. Besides, technological advances like the Internet and smartphone enable kids to contact with friends even when they are at home. In contrast, children meet their parents only at meal time and do not enjoying talking to them regarding their parents as conservative and out-dated. Consequently, children are much more intimate to their classmates than their parents. The intimacy between them is children's the prime source of mental assiatance, which contribute substantially to a successful academic life.

Secondly, school environment can create fierce competition among students. Children compete with peers through tests, examinations as well as groupwork and extracurricular activities. Not only do youngsters compete with peers to get good results but also compete to gain popularity to teachers and other mates. This competition gradually creates interest and enthusiasm, motivates students to work harder, define themselves and exceed their normal limits. Every child wants to stand out, to be ahead of its fellow student, to be the best. Classmate will be the ones determining the mental aspect of children and keep children invariably motivated in their journey to academic success

The mental assistance from peers is necessary for children. Therefore, although the critical role of parents in controlling kids cannot be ignored, in my opinion, the impact of classmates in most cases are more than expectations.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,939 3570  
Apr 5, 2020   #2
A question is never ongoing. A discussion can be ongoing but never a question. Rather, a question may remain unanswered. So you should have said:

Decades have passed and yet the question regarding the influence of parents or classmates on a child while studying has not yet been answered. The discussion remains unanswered because some people believe that parents influence the intellect of a child, while others believe that peer influence is more of an academic driving force. Personally, I find myself agreeing with the opinion that classmates tend to have a more imperative role in their peers scholastic achievements.

Always respond to the question directly in your last sentence. It is the foundation by which the next two paragraphs will be established. By the way, this isn't a comparison essay so there was no need to discuss the lack of influence of parents on their children. The idea is simply to sell the examiner on your belief that classmates influence their friends and schoolmates to do better in class. The cohesive discussion will come from the way that you clearly defend your stance using 2 valid reasons. Unless you are asked to discuss both opinions, never use the comparative discussion format for the Task 2 essay.

Your concluding paragraph is incorrect. It is not a continuing discussion of the given statement. It is merely a wrap-up of the previous discussion points. You are to end the essay by reiterating the following in 3-5 sentences:

- The discussion topic
- Your opinion
- Supporting reason 1
- Supporting reason 2
- Closing sentence

The supporting reasons are only to be mentioned, you do not need to discuss it again. Just repeat the reasons why you believe that your side is correct. One sentence each or a combined sentence for the 2 reasons will suffice. By the way, don't write more than 290 words. Remember, you will be handwriting at the center and you will not be able to write as fast manually as you do on a keyboard. Leave yourself some review time before the test ends to perfect the paper.
Froggy23 1 / 3  
Apr 8, 2020   #3
In final paragraph you can add some more points to support your final thoughts about the topic.


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