Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: Essay about fast food is becoming increasingly popular in most countries. [5]

I am practicing writing essays in English language. Please help me correct my assignment and comment frankly. Thanks in advance.

TOPIC: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is positive trend, while others do not.

What are your opinion in this?

--- Here is my essay---

In recent years, fast food has dramatic changes to our habitual diet and becoming well-known in the world especially in affluent western countries. Some people said that this kind of food has some benefits ,however in this essay, I intend to argue that these food have far more demerits than few advantages it offers.

First, in most of high standard of living countries prefer eating pre-packaged foods such as hamburger, chicken fried or chips rather than eating well-cooked foods. Although I certainly agree that fast food is both affordable and convenient, it contains a number of unhealthy additives like sugar, fat and salt. If people consume this kind of food as the way they add these to the staple diet in daily routine, they would get some serious health problems such as high blood pressure, obesity, depress and so on. In other words, while fast food is beneficial in the short term, its long-term effects are generally negative.

Second, fast food is gradually creeping in daily meals especially in children and a big brand like Ronald McDonalds is the particularly good example. The visual image showing that the way McDonalds clown standing straight and smiling which is appealing young children and also catch their parent attention. Having grown up eating in McDonald restaurants, people are likely to continue eating fast food throughout their adult lives. A number of people in most of western countries are now faced to the risk of obesity and the statics are more increasing significantly.

To conclude, I once again restate my view that fast food is detrimental to both individuals who eat it and to society at large. Authority health needs to increase public awareness about the dangerous effect of consuming to excess and giving the health risks associated with this trend.

Writing Feedback / Tourism: International tourism is now more common than ever before. Is this a positive trend or not? [3]

I am practicing writing task 2 in IELTS test. Here is my second essay about tourism.

TOPIC: International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.

What are your opinion on this?

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Global tourism has increased dramatically in recent years. Despite the undeniable fact that the tourist trade has brought some difficulties for the environment in the host countries, I would consider that the overall impact of international holiday making has in fact been positive. Two of the primary benefits associated with this trend are as follows.

First of all, economies' development in most nations especially developing countries certainly depends on the tourism industry. The popularity of low-cost airlines is making it cheaper to travel abroad, as a result, more people in the world intend to choose to travel overseas in order to relax and have fun in their leisure activities. Then it helps to improve the standard of living among the local inhabitants. Furthermore, it brings jobs and encourages younger people to stay in their community instead of seeking work in the city.

Traveling abroad, nowadays, is not expensive as it was in the past thus everybody can afford to have a chance to discover spectacular things in different places. Go somewhere new which not only opens our minds but it also broadens our horizon. Additionally, the tourist trade was often criticized because of the pollution its cause, however, the popularity of eco-tourism which I think indicates that the efforts of people and government who try to save our environment and wish to protect it rather than harm it.

The benefits of increased tourism far outweigh its drawbacks if the awareness of travelers who move to the host countries is raised. They should always treat and behave in a responsible way whether they are at home or the places they visit as well as the locals with respect and conservancy so that they make tourism better.