Posts by zoyatariq

zoyatariq

Aug 19, 2020

Writing Feedback / Jobs categories for graduate and postgraduate students [3]

postgraduate students WORKING in the UK

The depicted bar chart outlines the number of graduate and post graduate students in UK, who instead of performing full time job, get themselves involve in different categories of jobs in the year 2008. Overall the comparative data summarized that most of the graduate students inclines to start further studies while post graduate students were also gone for further studies though with a little margin with part time jobs.

A closer look at the graph revealed that in year 2008 graduate students who went for further studies hit the peak with figure of 29,665, which had shown the significant difference with part time and jobless persons (17,735 and 16, 335 respectively). However volunteer workers took a nose dive of 3500 persons only.

Interestingly, the percentage of post graduate students was one third to the graduate students, still they again pursued to achieve further studies. But at this point part time workers showed slight dip in percentage of 2535 compared to the other category of further studies that stood at 2725. volunteer workers were as low as 345 in number.

zoyatariq

Aug 20, 2020

Writing Feedback / Writing task 1:the graphs below show a comparison of the weekly expenses in the UK and the US [2]

You did not give graph in your presentation but as far as i understand, the main fault of this presentation is lack of comparison, the main objective is to underline main features along with compare the things what i understand,what u need

1: compare UK and US by making two groups
2: compare food and rent first in UK and US
3: compare transportation and outdoor entertainment in both countries
4: now come to DVDs which accounted lowest position but at same pace in US and UK

zoyatariq

Aug 21, 2020

Writing Feedback / Writing: Causes of water's shortage and how to fix it [3]

@QuocHuu
make your tense clear like in 2nd line u are not using is/am/are it would be is facing, it should be the world is now facing a huge problem of insufficiency of water especially in form of drinking water and other categories.Thus, this essay will elaborates the causative factors of water scarcity and also the different ways to mitigate this problem.

the difference between yours and mine is only the your once is quite simple and with very long sentences use concise words that explain the main purpose of topic as i explained above.

2nd paragraph over using water changed with its over usage or wastage For example, the counties where good water resources are present, instead of saving water for future, wasting this resource on an individual basis.

For the water number would not be used its amount
Thus it is required that government must take some legal action and regulate a law to monitor the water wastage in every home or industry so that people will be aware of the consequences in form of bill or fine.

dripping faucet
its not about what you think and convert it in english word by word please make some sense of the sentence
the latest research i did on water shortage make me believe that leaky faucet is the most prominent contributor in wasting water if t did not turn off properly.

What authority will tell about turning off faucet u can say, that not only a public service message on governmental level but also an individual, must be responsive to that issue.

I think i have did much work on your grammer its too weak try to make sentence by finding new words before adding in text and if cannot then u can google it.