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Posts by Joycelai
Name: 賴靖宜
Joined: Jun 28, 2021
Last Post: Jul 2, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Taiwan
School: National Tsing Hua University

Displayed posts: 6
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Joycelai   
Jun 30, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1 The diagrams show causes of land degradation and percentages in three regions. [4]

IELTS TASK1 TOPIC: The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.



MY ESSAY:

The pie chart illustrates the main causes of land degradation, deforestation, over-cultivation and over-grazing, and the table shows the percentages of each cause in three different areas in the 1990s, namely North America, Europe and Oceania.

There are three obvious phenomena that bring about less productivity of farming land, over- grazing takes the biggest portion, with figure of 35%. Following by deforestation and over-cultivation, with very close figures of 30% and 28% respectively.

It is clear that Europe had the worst situation among three regions during the 1990s, having 23% of land degradated, While only 5% of the agricultural land was damaged in North America during the same period, and the figure for Oceania region was 13% in total.

Each region had different proportions of the causes of land degradation in the 1990s. First of all, over-cultivation took the most responsibility for land degradation in North America, having 3.3% out of the total 5%. In Europe, the biggest cause which made the land infertile was deforestation, but over-cultivation affected the condition as well, with figure of 7.7%. Finally, Oceania had the most extreme figures for each cause, over-grazing accounted for 11.3%, but only 1.7% of land was destructed by deforestation, and no over-cultivation happened there in the 1990s.



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Joycelai   
Jul 1, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Discuss both views: IS MATHEMATICS REDUNDANT? [3]

The word choosing is over the general level of IELTS taking students, which may not be the ideal outcome that examiner wants to see. It's good to try to use difficult words but turned out to be eloquence accidentally.

The writer can try to utilize basic words but develop complete ideas in the essay, it would save more time and score higher.
Joycelai   
Jul 1, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2: Living alone vs with other people [3]

Besides the view of the first comment, I personally appreciate the writing skills of the writer. The ideas are clear in the second and the third paragraph, and the essay structure is well-managed.

The only flaw is the same as aforementioned, it would be better to give your own opinion, especially one opinion, even if that's not what you actually think, because the aim is to score higher.

Hope this helps you, wish you the best!
Joycelai   
Jul 1, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2 Where students should learn to be a good person? Home or school? [3]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.



Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

My essay:
People have different views about where children are supposed to learn to be a good person, either from home or school. In my opinion, I believe that both places are definitely important for each kid to cultivate their maturity.

It's generally considered that parents are the closest people in every children's life, which means that they could have a great impact on their kids. For example, when children encounter problems in their life, parents would usually be the first choice to talk to and to ask for help, and the advice that they give would also shapes the cognition of children. Moreover, parents play a vital role to introduce children the rules of society before entering school since they are the only access to the outside world during childhood. Therefore, parenting is literally necessary for children to become well-behaved.

On the other hand, school is the place where children spend the most of time in their life, taking the major responsibility to educate them. The role model in a school should be the teachers, who not only pass academic knowledge down to students, but also teach them about manners and rules. From the point that children start going to school, they would experience the feeling of living in a society, which allows them to learn how to be a good member among all.

In conclusion, it may be argued that parents or school teach children about life rules, I believe that both can give them proper education in each period of life, because they both play a crucial part in children's growing process.
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