Undergraduate / Common App Activity- Lack of team spirit in college Science Team [4]

My hand shakes as I grip the buzzer. The moderator asks a question and as I recollect information from my physics class, I hear a buzz. I glance to my left and see my teammate's buzzer box light up. His answer is correct and we are given a bonus question. This next question rings a bell, although uncertain, our team discusses, arriving at a final answer. We are correct and get the bonus point.

My school has a science team, although the word 'team' should be used loosely. They compete individually, only combining points at the end. While an excellent academic experience, I wanted something that involved teamwork. After many searches, I found the ideal competition: __________. After recruiting a team, I was able to study with some incredibly bright students. The best part about this experience, however, was working with people who think differently from me and watching us succeed together.

(____'s are so to remain anonymous)

Undergraduate / UC #1 Family influence: Bioengineering [3]

Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

As I stood on a sidewalk, I stared up, puzzled, at the strange metal spikes above the hanging sign. My older brother, a sophomore in college majoring in Biomedical Engineering, had challenged me to figure out the use of these metal spikes. I closed my eyes and let the image soak in. In my mind, I imagined the contraption put to use. People are too short for a direct impact. Birds, however, could fly and reach it, but why would a bird want to land on spikes? Then, it all became clear. These spikes were there precisely to prevent birds from perching on top and excreting that liquid white deposit, which could then land unwelcomingly on a passerby. I told my brother excitedly and he nodded in approval as he pointed out another curious object for me to decipher. Proud and delighted, I could not help but smile as I examined the next object. While it may seem strange to some, this 'game' is commonly played in my family. Even at the dinner table, we are often reflecting on a question, like why bowls are round, and not square. I am constantly pushed to find the answer through careful speculation. Motivated to reflect when I view an object, I speculate about how and why it works; my brain works like an engineer's. In math class, when our teacher first utilized the electronic touch screen Smart Board, I not only gazed in awe along with my classmates, but I wondered how a machine could create lines and colors in response to a single touch. Maybe it is genetic; after all both my parents are engineers, and my brother is studying to become one. These influences and experiences have shaped my aspirations for engineering, particularly Bioengineering. This field appeals to me because it connects engineering to humans in a most intimate way. I hope to help the development of an artificial limb with motor nerves or a prosthetic eye for patients with glaucoma. My family and their consistent curiosity of the world have influenced me, shaping my dreams of bioengineering.

Do you think my essay jumps around too much? Is there something I should concentrate more on? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!