Posts by jiggysmalls

jiggysmalls

Oct 27, 2009

Undergraduate / 'Chicken fried rice' - family culture, environment, etc. influenced you? [3]

I really liked your essay. It was unique, fun, and interesting. It started off well and instantly grabbed my attention. I'm doing the same topic for my personal statement and you seemed to nail it! You really focused on answering the question and I'm sure this is just the type of response they're looking because you made it personal and truly about yourself. Good Luck!!

jiggysmalls

Oct 27, 2009

Undergraduate / UCF Essay - Culture, Family, Eniv. Influence [4]

Please tell me what you think and most importantly -
Do you think it truly answers the question??

UCF Personal Statement:
How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?
Max/Min. 250 Words

I never found the need to let the whole world know I'm Puerto Rican. Drivers won't see a Puerto Rican flag stickered on the back of my car. Some days I prefer McDonald's over Mom's traditional rice and beans. I take pride in, not just my heritage, but more in not limiting myself to common conventions of Puerto Ricans.

I've dealt with discrimination and prejudice at an early age because I'm Puerto Rican. I've been labeled because of how I dress, talk, carry myself, the music I listen to, the car I drive, and the friends I hang out with. I've felt embarrassed and ashamed of myself and what I liked for the fear of others not accepting me and typecasting me. Values instilled by my parents helped me overcome these, and other, obstacles in my life.

Coming from Puerto Rico alone with nothing but the clothes on his back, my father provided my brother and I opportunities to be educated and successful, opportunities he wasn't able to afford. taught me to be strong enough to face any challenge and never take anything for granted. My parents sacrificed for my brother and I, showing me not to limit my possibilities, take pride in myself, and to be confident in everything I do. Visits to Puerto Rico now don't remind me of how great the food is, how beautiful the women are, or how blue the beach is. It reminds of how far my family has come and to continue on their dream by becoming the first person in my family to graduate from college.

jiggysmalls

Oct 27, 2009

Undergraduate / Brown supplement: What don't you know? "Mom's Secret" [5]

"She wants to stand strong as a lighthouse beside me so that I can always fall back unto her when I am lost."

Wow. That was a really wonderful and beautiful sentence.

Because, regardless of parents' best intentions

You can start this part off without the because...the reader'll know because of the sentence before it.

The last paragraph does throw me off a little. I can see the point your trying to share, that you're not certain if what you parents did was the best thing even though you said the did it out of love and to protect you. You should definelty put your arguement in there because that's how you truly percieve it. I would suggest however to take out

especially for a child who is being moved around without much explanation

and make this part of the essay, not personal as the rest of the essay, but generalize your statement for everyone who may go through this. I believe you did a great job realting you view of it to others and adding a precaution to those who may be experiencing the same thing.

Overall, great captivating essay. Good Luck and Best Wishes!

jiggysmalls

Oct 29, 2009

Undergraduate / UCF Essay - Culture, Family, Eniv. Influence [4]

I know exactly what you're saying. It was kind of difficult to fit all my ideas into 250 words. I didn't get what you meant about me flaunting my Puerto Rican-ness :). What I meant was that even thought I may not be the most outspoken Puerto Rican, "I'm proud and I'm loud", doesn't mean I haven't faced discrimination because of my ethnicticity or because of other personal traits beyond me being Puerto Rican. Do you get that or not? Sorry if I'm not making it clear. My thesis was that even though I may not be the Puerto Rico's # 1 Fan/Supporter, the culture and where I'm from has taught me alot and to be grateful and that your culture and heritage goes beyond how much pride (on the surface) you have for it. Makes sense?? Please tell me if it doesn't??

jiggysmalls

Oct 29, 2009

Undergraduate / "Survivial of the Fittest" - UCF ESSAY - BUMP IN THE ROAD [3]

This is the second half of my personal statement. Again, all criticism is welcomed.

If there has been some obstacle or bump in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances?

In my second semester of college, years of bottling my worries up finally took its toll. Our speech course began with tests on personality types and learning styles to help us gauge our true selves in hopes of find a major that best matched us. What seemed like a harmless, "get to know yourself" activity, turned my quiet anxiety on high power. The rest of that semester was spent worrying about my future. Constantly feeling frightened and anxious, it eventually grew to the point that I developed strong social anxiety and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I had reached rock bottom, felt alone, with no will to live on.

My very next semester focused on Darwin's theory of "Survivial of the Fittest". Again, I could have been easily frightened, worried that I would never be one of the "fittest". Instead of feeling bitter, I was inspired, realizing that worrying wasn't changing a thing. My struggle was something I'd strongly been avoiding. By pushing myself harder than ever before, I viewed myself in a completely new light. I felt confident and secure in myself and became more sociable than ever before. For once in my life, I welcomed challenge, viewing it for its true worth, as a way to test my limits.

I can't say I've fully overcome my anxiety. I've had a few major setbacks since my first episode. My motivation is looking back at where I've been and how much I've overcome. But as I learned before, there is no growth without struggle.