Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: PIE CHART - WATER USE PROPORTIONS [4]

Please leave some comments on my writing. Thanks a lot!

the percentage of water used for different purposes

As can be seen, the pie charts compare data on the differences in the proportion of water consumption for agricultural, domestic and industrial purposes in six continents of the world

In general, water for agriculture accounted for the highest percentage in Asian areas, Africa and South America whereas in North America and Europe, water was mainly used for industrial purpose.

To be more specific, the largest proportion of industrial water use can be observed in Central Asia with more than eight-tenths of the total water used. The proportion of industrial water use was lower than the numbers for household purpose with a gap of 2% in Africa and Central Asia and 9% in South America. South East Asia, however, presented the opposite with 12% for industry and only 7% for domestic use.

In terms of North America and Europe, it is obvious that industry sector consumed the highest amount of water, constituting 48% and 53% respectively, Moreover, the water for agriculture in both continents was also larger than the figures of household use, which tripled in North America and more than doubled in Europe.

• 
  Screenshot_4.png
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Agree or Disagree Essay - Railroad vs Roads [3]

Question:

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that government should invest more money on the railway system instead of roads. From my point of view, I strongly agree with this idea because railways bring enormous benefits to our lives.

To begin with, the development of the railroad system will facilitate long distance travel and the transportation of bulk goods with speed and certainty. Railways can be seen as one of the fastest modes of transport second only to airways. Trains can reach a speed of more than 300 km/h and they have an extremely large carrying capacity compared to other vehicles such as cars, motorbikes or airplanes. Therefore, railway transport is the perfect choice for traffic, especially long distance travel with heavy loads of goods.

In addition, the railway network also makes a great contribution to the protection of the environment. We know that CO2 emissions from vehicles are the primary driver of global climate change and air pollution. Hence, improving rail routes is an effective way to encourage public switching from private vehicles to more eco-friendly ones like trains or trams. The more people travel by railways, the less toxic gases are generated and emitted to our environment.

In conclusion, government should consider spending more money on developing the railway network than constructing roads. Railway is not only an effective solution for environmental problems but it also makes our traveling activities easier and more convenient.

Please leave some feedback on my essay. Many thanks