Undergraduate / I enjoyed figuring out how things work; Carnegie Mellon / Why choose CMU? [7]

Prompt:
Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.

I would appreciate any corrections and/or suggestions, specifically on how i can lengthen it by a paragraph or two.

Carnegie Mellon's excellent job placement, beautiful campus, and prestigious name are not the primary items that attract me to the school. I have a genuine interest in computers and I feel that Carnegie Mellon provides me with the best opportunity pursue my passions.

Although I don't have an enormous amount of experience with some of the technical sides of computers, from what I have learned about them I find many aspects of them to be fascinating. For example I am very interested in how they produce sounds and frequencies that can be used for a multitude of purposes from musical to medical purposes. Another intriguing area of computers is artificial intelligence and the mathematics behind it.

A second reason I am attracted to computer science is because I think it would be something outside of my career that I would enjoy using. It would be a productive and enjoyable "hobby" of sorts for me to do in my free time. With the internet's popularity and usefulness increasing at its current rate it could even become a significant source of income in the future.

A third and final reason I am interested in computer science is because it is an area of science that is quickly growing and advancing, and still has a lot more room for improvement. I hope that I can get into this field and be a significant part of these technological advances.

Carnegie Mellon has a reputation for scientific and medical innovations. From robots to viruses it is at the forefront of technology. This is a very important factor for me because most other universities do not have the resources and technology that CMU does. And in my college experience I want to be exposed to the higher end of modern technology because when I complete college I will be better equipped for post-graduate work.

I want to go to Carnegie Mellon for the academic and educational value and for the technological resources. However, the primary reason I want to go to Carnegie Mellon for computer science rather than another college or university is because I think it will push me more than others and because I don't want to never find out how far I could have gone in life because I settled for an easier option.

Undergraduate / Common Application Essay - Person of Significant Influence (coach) [4]

The is my essay for the common application: indicate a person who had a significant influence on you and describe that influence. I would appreciate any feedback and/or suggestions. Also I was wondering, do theses need to have a title, and if so does anyone have any ideas?

He was a coach for our football team's bitter rival. He killed a young girl in a drunk driving accident, yet he's a man I respect and admire. He has taught me more about football, hard work, and life in just three years than people I've known for my whole life.

It was the summer before my tenth grade year. My football coach told us we would be getting a new coach from Windber, our biggest rivals. The next day when he showed up, he certainly wasn't shy. He wasted no time in yelling at us, correcting our mistakes, and making us work harder than we ever had before. He sounds like a jerk, right? We thought the same thing at first, but throughout that season we got to know him better and realized that he wasn't strict and demanding because he hated us, but because he wanted us to be as good as we could be.

During football camp we learned the reason he wasn't coaching for our rivals anymore. Two winters before he was in a drunk driving accident and killed a teenage girl. He was immediately shunned by his entire school district, longtime friends wouldn't talk to him anymore, his fiancé left him, and he was fired from his teaching and coaching position.

Our team had been below .500 for the past five years, but that year with him we won six of ten games, the next year eight of twelve, and so far this year eight of nine games. There is no doubt in my mind that the biggest reason for our success is because of his active role with us year-round working in the weight room or on the practice field, pushing us more than we were ever pushed before he came.

What impacted me more than anything was seeing his work ethic and devotion and how much he cared for the students at our school, even the ones who didn't play football. The entire off-season he spends every day after school with the football players and other athletes in the weight room while still working a full-time job. During football camp he's with us from eight in the morning to eight at night, and he still works the night shift for eight hours. What is intriguing about him is he is such a smart individual, but because of one bad decision he works as a welder and an assistant coach and goes on two to four hours of sleep per night.

He's taught me far more than I could ever put into words, but some of what he has taught me is, no matter how smart or talented you are, you can throw it all away with even one bad choice. Even if you do throw it away, you can still overcome your mistakes and live a happy and rewarding life. When you make a mistake, it's your responsibility to fix it. Another huge lesson he's taught me is that you can't judge someone by one mistake. Every person, extraordinary or average, has made mistakes. It's not about the mistakes you make; it's how you overcome them. And the most important thing I've learned from him is your success is directly related to how hard you work. His example, positive and negative, is something I will never forget. I intend to learn from his mistakes, and I will strive to be as determined, caring, genuine, and diligent as he is.

Undergraduate / Cornell Admission Essay-Describe your intellectual interests and their evolution [4]

Any suggestions or correction would be appreciated.

Cornell no more than 500 words
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

My intellectual interests have always been changing. My interests do not move from one thing to the next, they seem to just keep dividing and growing. For example I am currently interested in computers, math, neurology, and music; however, if you were to ask me last year about my interests, they would have been philosophy and history. I am still interested in these, but my attention is now more split with them than it was before.

I do not mean to make myself sound indecisive, but I have noticed that in any area, the deeper you dig into it, the more you find it connects with other areas. My interests have been branching off and growing rather than changing or shifting. To be able to truly understand something you have to not only understand the concept of it, but also the context of it.

For example, obviously the foundation of computer science is math itself, but at the same time math is also foundational to music. And what about music makes our brains feel happy, sad, or any other emotion? The concept of how art makes us feel and how that can be understood scientifically through computers is an area that I am very intrigued by.

Cornell's "Computing in the Arts" course with the psychology track is a major reason for my interest in Cornell. I was interested in many of the psychology courses, particularly the ones about sleep cycles and brain activity, and I believe majoring computer science with a minor in psychology is the most practical way for me to bring both these interests together.

I believe Cornell is a great fit for me because I will be able to utilize its diverse course selection to pursue several different interests and be able to correlate the different subjects to create a stimulating, practical educational experience.