Dts007
Sep 30, 2022
Writing Feedback / Writing a summary on 2 news articles about obesity [4]
I am a returning student, and I haven't written in years. English is also my second language. I appreciate it if someone can give me some feedback and advice.
My summary:
The article "Obesity Can Trim 10 years Off Life" (2009) by Nanci Hellmich warns that obesity shortens life, and its effects rival those of smoking. Obesity causes heart disease and stroke which can reduce lifespan depending on whether an individual is overweight, obese or very obese; it ranges from a year for adults who are overweight to as much as 10 years for those who are very obese. The article presents a study reporting that a third of American adults are obese, and these same individuals are continually gaining weight. Finally, the article alerts that obesity is becoming a serious health concern and advises that we take actions now.
Existing beliefs suggest that the obesity epidemic is caused by a combination of inactivity and excess calorie intake, but how much is each contributing to the problem? New research in the article "Too Many Calories Are to Blame For Obesity Surge, Not Lack of Exercise, Claim Scientists" (2009) by a Daily Mail reporter confidently suggests that excess calorie intake is more likely to be the cause of the rise in obesity than a lack of exercise. The study, conducted by Australian scientists at Deakin University, reveals that Americans may have been in fact increasing their amount of exercise over the past 30 years, yet the problem persists and expands. This implies that increasing physical activity as a solution is ineffective. The article concludes that existing and potential health policies should focus on reducing daily calorie intake.
This is 245 words.
Thank you.
I am a returning student, and I haven't written in years. English is also my second language. I appreciate it if someone can give me some feedback and advice.
The summary should be 100-300 words.
My summary:
The article "Obesity Can Trim 10 years Off Life" (2009) by Nanci Hellmich warns that obesity shortens life, and its effects rival those of smoking. Obesity causes heart disease and stroke which can reduce lifespan depending on whether an individual is overweight, obese or very obese; it ranges from a year for adults who are overweight to as much as 10 years for those who are very obese. The article presents a study reporting that a third of American adults are obese, and these same individuals are continually gaining weight. Finally, the article alerts that obesity is becoming a serious health concern and advises that we take actions now.
Existing beliefs suggest that the obesity epidemic is caused by a combination of inactivity and excess calorie intake, but how much is each contributing to the problem? New research in the article "Too Many Calories Are to Blame For Obesity Surge, Not Lack of Exercise, Claim Scientists" (2009) by a Daily Mail reporter confidently suggests that excess calorie intake is more likely to be the cause of the rise in obesity than a lack of exercise. The study, conducted by Australian scientists at Deakin University, reveals that Americans may have been in fact increasing their amount of exercise over the past 30 years, yet the problem persists and expands. This implies that increasing physical activity as a solution is ineffective. The article concludes that existing and potential health policies should focus on reducing daily calorie intake.
This is 245 words.
Thank you.