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Posts by sydney32
Joined: Nov 13, 2009
Last Post: Feb 8, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 7  

Displayed posts: 8
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sydney32   
Nov 13, 2009
Faq, Help / Question about EssayForum - How does this site work? [103]

High School Student Having Troubles in English Class

Ok, so this year I got a really hard teacher for English and I didn't realize how bad I was at English until I had this teacher. So basically I registered here hoping for some extra help to improve my writing and proof read hopefully. For my first writing assignment I got 60% and I just recieved my second writing assignment and I recieved a 65%. Very disappointing a big big fail in my family

Is this a good forum to help me achieve my goals?
sydney32   
Nov 13, 2009
Faq, Help / Question about EssayForum - How does this site work? [103]

I think I should of just read the FAQs in the first place.

Anyways I need some help on some mistakes I have made.

On my essay I wrote

1)"Each time he thinks about their misery is like a stab in the heart that never ends"

My teacher's feedback was : "The heart never ends? Modifier error"

2) Carlos slowly walks toward the train entrance"

teacher fb: crossed out "toward" and put "to"

im dont really understand my teacher, is he being picky or what because he kept writing word choice errors all over my essay.

I also need some help on "awkward expressions" which I tend to do alot but I dont notice them.

here's an example from my essay: "he comes to an agreement to himself"
sydney32   
Dec 13, 2009
Faq, Help / Question about EssayForum - How does this site work? [103]

Thanks for the feedback guys.

I did poorly in all my in class essays and take home essays for my first term of school. And the take home essays were worth nearly half of our term mark which really brought my mark down. Since our class only had two take home essays and did not take the time to have it proof-read which was a really stupid mistake. As for the in-class essays, there's really nothing that can be done to achieve the highest mark, its soley based on my writing skills without outside help.

Well.. hope I will do better for my second term!
sydney32   
Jan 15, 2010
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL]I dont agree that businesses should do anything they can to make a profit! [6]

I just watched a video in my marketing class, and another good example to add to it.. if you want is the exploitation of the children. Children are a great market target for many products .. they basically brainwash them and accept an idea that an adult wouldn't. stuff like that, just my 2 cents.
sydney32   
Jan 15, 2010
Letters / Question About Order in a Résumé [6]

Competetion 2010

unless its normally known as 2010 Competetion , its normally the other way around.
sydney32   
Jan 15, 2010
Book Reports / "The Catcher in the Rye" Motif: Sex. [2]

Ok , so I'm suppose to write a paragraph about a motif (sex) in the novel "The Catcher in the Rye" for chapters 1-9 (around there)

Hope you guys can help me proofread for common mistakes. The most common mistakes I make are things like expression errors or comma splices.

Motif: Sex
Sex is a motif that frequently reoccurs in the novel, "The Catcher in the Rye". This motif seems to play a significant role affecting the surroundings and thoughts of Holden Caulfield. Most of the time this motif appears in the novel, the sole purpose of its meaning is to display their manliness to others. When Holden suspects that Stradlater had sex with Jane, it made him mad that it drove him crazy. However, on the other hand with Ackley, he ignores whatever he claims to have done with other girls. There is a different reaction for each person's scenario. But in the end, when "sex" is approached to Holden and if the "sex" does not involve him, he tries not to think about it too much. Then there are times when Holden encounters sexual arousals, and thinking about his past sex experience which he creates the impression that he enjoys talking about it. All these aspects of Holden suggest that he is a type of person who only wants the attention for himself in some ways. When he is in the public eye, he does not express his true feelings but constantly lies instead. In his mind, all he does is call people phony or other negative comments. This motif partially proves that he is full of himself, yet does not receives what he wants.
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